My drinking is out of control and I’m not sure what to do about it. I’m going to try to stop. It seems simple but it isn’t. The day after I feel so depressed and anxious. Any advice would be much appreciated
My drinking was out of control for many years especially that when I was sad or depressed it somewhat felt better to be drunk at the same time. But hangovers were getting worse because I had to drink more and more and eventually blackout but the next day anxiety was x 10. I went cold turkey because I got ocd this year and to me in the long run facing fears and fixing your problems sober no matter how hard it is. In the long run will get fixed correctly without the alcohol as a distraction or temporary fix. What sucks even more the life I have and career revolves around drinking, so it sucks not being able to have fun dealing with a mental problem. Alcohol is not going anywhere it will forever be there. Put yourself first, that party comes later. Once your mental state is where you want it, maybe you can drink again or maybe even enjoy the sober life. Good luck, your not alone 🤘🏼
I am not a daily user of alcohol because of what happens when I get drunk. I can’t stop drinking after I start. I feel like it numbs your decision making choices. It makes it much harder to decipher your thoughts from intrusive thoughts. My dads been an alcoholic since he was 12 and now he’s 52 and not doing so well. Seeking help of any form now will help. Wanting help, helps. You’re doing amazing, champ. You got this.
Maybe this isn't the healthiest advice but it's certainly healthier than out of control drinking I was a heavy drinker for about 2-3 years. I'd drink up to 12-16 oz of vodka a day. There was a time I was curled up in the back seat of my car fighting off withdrawal symptoms when I literally felt my body start to shut down. I don't know how to describe it other than it felt like falling asleep except I knew that if I did I would never wake up. I knew I had to make a change that day My state legalized medical cannabis so I decided that if I was going to be addicted to something, then it should at least be something that won't kill me from overconsumption. I've never touched a drop of alcohol ever since the day my medical use card arrived
OCD and alcohol use is something i feel like is not talked about as much as it should be. For me, alcohol is sometimes really the only thing that dulls my obsessive thoughts and makes me not care as much about doing compulsions, definitely a self-medicating thing. Something that has kind of helped me is realizing that the world around me does not actually change around me when i'm drunk, and somewhere in my brain i am fully capable of not responding to stress with compulsory behaviors. I also feel extremely anxious, hopeless, and depressed after long periods of drinking and I can tell you from experience that a few days of sobriety, even though it may be difficult, will help to alleviate that, at least a little bit. It's pretty much impossible to not feel anxious and depressed if you're drinking every day (not trying to sound judgmental). Forming a structured routine with your day may help to at least fill your time and distract you from the urge to drink. And, although this is probably not the best advice for the long term, but especially if you're going through withdrawal symptoms, thc might be helpful (or cbd, delta 9, etc., depending on legality and preference). For me, sometimes smoking a little bit provides me with the clear headedness to plan my next steps and it's something that has really helped me step away from alcohol.
I don’t know how to stop confessing. It’s driving me insane. I confess every little thing to my boyfriend. I confessed that I liked attention (this is so obviously human), that I liked it when people found me pretty (also very human??) I confessed about a million other things and I feel out of control. I felt so safe with him last night that it just started pouring out of me. I felt guilty and awful and I just needed release, I couldn’t breathe I felt like I was dying. I’m stuck in a confessing loop and I know I’m only making things worse. Has anyone experienced this and been able to overcome it? It feels absolutely horrible and impossible. I tried to ERP this and I genuinely feel like I am suffocating if I hold off. I feel so disappointed in myself, but I can’t seem to stop. I even had a dream where I confessed to him and woke up needed to confess that. I’m scared I’ll start sharing my worst intrusive thoughts I’ve had if I feel too safe around my bf. Help please :(
I think I’m going through the hardest depression right now. I’ve never felt so compelled to just stop getting up and stop living. I know it’s hard to hear, I just really feel bad. Right now I even feel like an attention seeker. I just wanted to know, are there any tips to raise me from this hole im in? Has anyone else felt like this an pulled themselves out?
It’s been 4 years. 4 years since I spiralled into a world controlled by rituals of 4, it started as 2, then 3, then 4 - my safe number. The amount of times I wash my hands after touching something dirty and how many repeats it takes until I feel ‘clean’, the amount of taps I make when closing doors to make sure I don’t ‘die’, the amount of times I rinse cutlery and plates before eating off them, the amount of times I disinfect things. My OCD subtype is contamination and I know 2020 lockdowns and the pandemic caused it to spiral but what started as a small ritual quickly became bigger until I no longer remembered what my life was like without the obsessive thoughts of germs and contamination. Could that person be ill? What if I go outside to the shops and someone makes me sick? You can’t answer the door to get that package from the delivery driver because he might make you sick, oh you can’t put the shopping away without disinfecting it first - what if someone has coughed on it? ‘I’ve got to wear gloves to do that’ I can’t, I can’t, I can’t. For 4 years I’ve lived like this, the ‘I don’t want to touch that’ or ‘I can’t go to this place because I don’t want to get ill and die’ ‘can you go do that for me as I don’t think I can right now’ - I know my OCD is irrational, I know the likelihood of those things actually happening are slim to none and I know my OCD stems from a need of control in my life because for so many years I felt like everything in my life was out of my control. But no matter how much I know of how many books I read, how many mindful practices I do the panic I feel after being ‘exposed’ or before exposing myself to a trigger is horrible. I’ve avoided and avoided and avoided to the point where something small now seems and feels like an impossible mountain to climb. It often feels like there isn’t light at the end of the tunnel on the dark days, when I know there is, it’s just going to take some time. Despite this on the outside to those not in my circle my life is a whole picture perfect painting. I run my own business, have a nice car, a nice house, a happy relationship and the of best friends and I’m so grateful for all those things but the reality is much different - behind closed doors and hidden in the closest is the OCD monster. I’ve decided now, after 4 years it’s time to change. I’m breaking the cycle and starting anew. The irony that 4 is my safe number too and it’s been 4 years since things started to get dark. I’m ready to lose control and find myself again. Why am I writing this? Honestly, I really don’t know. I found this app recently and hope it can be a help for my ERP practices I’ve been practicing on my own and it’s actually the first time I’ve ever openly posted or spoken about my OCD to date. For years I have lived with a huge amount of shame and embarrassment, hiding my issues from everyone - even my closest friends have no idea how much it impacts my day to day. I’ve felt shame as I can’t control my own mind despite knowing the thoughts are irrational and the rituals only provide temporary relief but each day again and again the safety blanket of the rituals wraps me up and takes over. The only person who truly knows how much it affects me is my partner, who has been by my side through it all, he’s burnt out and has seen first hand the impact it has had on me, my life and my happiness. I’ve sheltered him as much as I can, but I’m sure those who are in relationships with OCD can relate to the burnout their partner feels day in day out. So that’s my story, I hope those going through similar can take comfort in this and know they aren’t alone in it all as my OCD has made me feel so incredibly lonely, isolated and empty for 4 years too long. It feels freeing to finally share my monster and I hope I can connect with others who are on a similar journey to me. The biggest thing I want to be able to do again? I want to be able to hug my loved ones without feeling triggered, I want to go outside and enjoy life without worry, I want to live again. This app has made me feel seen for the first time in a long time and reading your stories, your experiences and how you’re coping is comforting, encouraging and makes me feel less alone ❤️ thank you for reading x
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