- Username
- O
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I don’t know if I’m going insane or this is all existential ocd. Or depression, but pretty much my fear centers around existence and insanity. I can’t shake the thought that I’m living in some far off dream or different dimension and it terrifies me. Like gives me the worst panic attacks ever. My brain does everything to make me believe it. I get a feeling of unreality too. I’ll be hanging out with friends and get this feeling and I start freaking out I’m on the verge of insanity. I’m scared I’m going to snap and lose control and I panic so hard. The thought is so scary. Is it a delusion or intrusive thought? I so badly want this to be a physical problem. I took a b12 deficiency test and read it can cause this. I’m really hoping that it’s all physical because I can’t handle this mentally. The panic is so hard
I just want to see my life as a 40 year old and see everything being okay. Successful, married, loving, and happy
I just want my old life back. I live in constant fear and depression. My parents have never been around mental illness so they only think you need to work on succeeding in life and be somebody and that will cure you. I know it’s partially true, but every time I try to my thoughts get in the way. Then I have one that’s so bad that I think I’m losing it and I panic. The most recent one which was the worst of them is that I’m really in a dream within a dream and I’m so far from reality and don’t realize it (sorta like inception) The thought came out of no where and absolutely terrified me. It gave me one of the worst panic attacks I’ve ever had. It literally felt like I was fainting. I’ve been diagnosed panic disorder and ocd. It usually centered around schiz ocd, but now it’s existential. I think existential because of my fear of going crazy. My brain pretty much goes “okay, let’s see how deep of a thought I can come up with to terrify you and push you over the limit.” It scares me because I think this has gotta be how people lose their minds. And it literally sucks. I used to be a deep thinker, but it never scared me. I hate this fucking illness. If I can make it into an entity I’d beat the living shit out of it for ruining so many good years of my life
Hey! I’m dealing with the same thing and I 100% get it. That obsession gives me the worst panic reactions: shaking, wanting to vomit, feeling dizzy, feeling like I’m losing my mind... yesterday I did for the first time what I never thought I could do: I did a huge ERP session about it (I’ve been avoiding it for years) and I really thought I was gonna collapse / die / enter another dimension of reality, believe me, but my boyfriend guided me through the ERP, making sure I was focusing on all of those thoughts that I fear without engaging in compulsions (reassurance, avoidance, checking my phone, which relaxes me...). After two excruciating hours, more or less, the anxiety subsided and I went from a 9/10 in anxiety to a 3/10. So it definitely works!!! Give it a try. It’s so hard and so tiring, but it’s the only way out of this. We can overcome this together!
What’s wrong
Right now my whole body is tingling even my head. I feel I’m having a seizure
You are definitely not having a seizure. You would know. Tingling is a normal side effect of a panic attack. It sounds like this is anxiety... can you calm or distract yourself? If a B12 pill would make you feel better, start taking one a day. And if they’re close friends, tell them your worry and ask them to keep you distracted. Sounds like you’re just spiraling, you’ll get through this though, promise.
What was your erp?
How are you now? I’m going through something similar
TW Guys my false memories are scaring me so much today. my mind was trying to ruminate as I went to sleep and then I woke up and the thought was “oh yeah nobody would know or find out because you can’t just identify abuse by looking down there” horrible :( :( :( I woke up terrified what if I just remembered that I did something, what if I did?? Soniclen I know you are going to say I’m looking for reassurance maybe I’m am, i just cried all over my husband and of course all he did was reassure me I could never do something like that and “forget about it” because that’s not me But when I woke up and had that thought it felt so freaking real and I got so scared heart racing everything
Hey can someone please help me out here . I’m trying very hard not to panic . I’m a little spooked out rn I can feel my anxiety rising as I’m trying to get some rest . Please help me get this off my mind
Today I have been having an okay day. Nothing too bad has happened till I started to get into a deep thought. I started to think about when I was younger. Everything was fine till I started to think about something that happened when I was little( I was about 10). I did something really bad and I haven’t thought about it for awhile. During this moment In my life I did something really disgusting. Now I feel disgusted and uncomfortable, but idk why I did it. It definitely has triggered my OCD. Now I’m scared. I hope I was just a kid who didn’t understand what they were doing. My anxiety is so bad right now.
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