- Date posted
- 7y
- Date posted
- 7y
I don’t know if I’m going insane or this is all existential ocd. Or depression, but pretty much my fear centers around existence and insanity. I can’t shake the thought that I’m living in some far off dream or different dimension and it terrifies me. Like gives me the worst panic attacks ever. My brain does everything to make me believe it. I get a feeling of unreality too. I’ll be hanging out with friends and get this feeling and I start freaking out I’m on the verge of insanity. I’m scared I’m going to snap and lose control and I panic so hard. The thought is so scary. Is it a delusion or intrusive thought? I so badly want this to be a physical problem. I took a b12 deficiency test and read it can cause this. I’m really hoping that it’s all physical because I can’t handle this mentally. The panic is so hard
- Date posted
- 7y
I just want to see my life as a 40 year old and see everything being okay. Successful, married, loving, and happy
- Date posted
- 7y
You are definitely not having a seizure. You would know. Tingling is a normal side effect of a panic attack. It sounds like this is anxiety... can you calm or distract yourself? If a B12 pill would make you feel better, start taking one a day. And if they’re close friends, tell them your worry and ask them to keep you distracted. Sounds like you’re just spiraling, you’ll get through this though, promise.
- Date posted
- 7y
I just want my old life back. I live in constant fear and depression. My parents have never been around mental illness so they only think you need to work on succeeding in life and be somebody and that will cure you. I know it’s partially true, but every time I try to my thoughts get in the way. Then I have one that’s so bad that I think I’m losing it and I panic. The most recent one which was the worst of them is that I’m really in a dream within a dream and I’m so far from reality and don’t realize it (sorta like inception) The thought came out of no where and absolutely terrified me. It gave me one of the worst panic attacks I’ve ever had. It literally felt like I was fainting. I’ve been diagnosed panic disorder and ocd. It usually centered around schiz ocd, but now it’s existential. I think existential because of my fear of going crazy. My brain pretty much goes “okay, let’s see how deep of a thought I can come up with to terrify you and push you over the limit.” It scares me because I think this has gotta be how people lose their minds. And it literally sucks. I used to be a deep thinker, but it never scared me. I hate this fucking illness. If I can make it into an entity I’d beat the living shit out of it for ruining so many good years of my life
- Date posted
- 7y
Hey! I’m dealing with the same thing and I 100% get it. That obsession gives me the worst panic reactions: shaking, wanting to vomit, feeling dizzy, feeling like I’m losing my mind... yesterday I did for the first time what I never thought I could do: I did a huge ERP session about it (I’ve been avoiding it for years) and I really thought I was gonna collapse / die / enter another dimension of reality, believe me, but my boyfriend guided me through the ERP, making sure I was focusing on all of those thoughts that I fear without engaging in compulsions (reassurance, avoidance, checking my phone, which relaxes me...). After two excruciating hours, more or less, the anxiety subsided and I went from a 9/10 in anxiety to a 3/10. So it definitely works!!! Give it a try. It’s so hard and so tiring, but it’s the only way out of this. We can overcome this together!
- Date posted
- 7y
What’s wrong
- Date posted
- 7y
Right now my whole body is tingling even my head. I feel I’m having a seizure
- Date posted
- 7y
What was your erp?
- Date posted
- 5y
How are you now? I’m going through something similar
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I know right now i shouldnt ask for reassurance... and that its unhealthy... but right now i am so triggered by the events on my previous post and I just need someone to respond so so basly...
- Date posted
- 20w
I'm going to try and be coherent because I know that sometimes during these moments I tend to babble in fear. I have a mole on the left side of my chest that I've had since I was a kid. Been there for as long as I remember. And I never paid attention to it; it was just a part of my body. I even felt a little sad considering that I might not have it anymore whenever I get top surgery. Yesterday I went down a rabbit hole and landed on Melanoma. Which, of course, prompted me to look at my mole again. And again. And again. It's large, bigger than my other moles. Always has been, at least to my knowledge. I always thought it was cute whenever it crossed my mind. Now...now I'm just scared... I'm not asking for reassurance. None of us on here are medical experts (unless youre an actual doctor) (also insert OCD joke here). I sent a picture to my doctor, and she said that if it hasnt changed size that's a good sign. But she also suggested a follow-up with a dermatologist. And that's what scares me the most. All of this started yesterday, but I sent the message to my doctor this morning. And ever since then...I havent been okay. I can barely eat, and every time I try to I can barely swallow. I've isolated myself in the guest bedroom of my parents house. I cant move. I cant think straight. And...let's just say my thoughts havent been good. Like I said, I'm not asking for reassurance or medical advice. I just...I need help to not feel like I'm dying. I didnt mention that yesterday, in the midst of going down the rabbit hole, I realized how badly I didnt want to be afraid, and yet I also felt like I needed to be afraid. And I realized that that's what ERP is (at least for me in case it's different for everyone). I really did naivietely think that it was just going to be about avoiding compulsions. I didnt realize that accepting uncertainty would feel like a death sentence. And now this has happened. I just...I'm scared. And I dont want to be. I dont want to live in this reality where I'm sick and dying. I dont want to have to tell my family. I dont want to live in that world, but it feels like I'm already in it. My body is just preparing me for it. I dont know. I dont know why I'm even making this post. No one can help me, can they?
- Real Events OCD
- NOCD Therapy Alumni
- Existential OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- Health Concern OCD
- Date posted
- 19w
I have been getting reassurance from someone on here… I know this is not what we should be doing… but I have a fear that the bad guy is going to get me and that things I do will lead to that… I think I misread what he/she was saying but I’m too triggered to look back and see, but I thought the message said “I talked to the bad guy” and I am freaking out on my bathroom floor… I thought about it and what that looked like and now I feel like I cleave into the bad guy…. Someone please help
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