Why do intrusive thoughts about attraction to men persist despite knowing I'm a lesbian?

Ok so here’s where I’m confused…

The thing about intrusive thoughts is that I only push them out of my mind when I know that they’re completely outrageous. When I get intrusive thoughts that are more convincing, I want to make sure that the content of the thought doesn’t bother me before I push it out. And this is what sucks because why is my own judgement not enough? I know I’m a lesbian. I know that I never want to be with a man. Why do my thoughts keep telling me “you like men and you know it” and “the only reason you avoid men is because you still like them and you know it” and “if you were to try a man, you’ll like it and you know it. That’s why you avoid them so much”??? Like bye that doesn’t even make sense. But OCD also hates facts bc as soon as I’m like “FACTUALLY, bitch, the fact that I never want to end up with a man or am even having anxiety about liking a hypothetical and what feels like inevitable future with a man is proof that I’m not attracted to them”, my brain just refuses to PROCESS THAT and just TRASHES it? OCD is SCARY.

Username: Carlos ACarlos A

Date posted: 44w ago

Experiencing this, except that I'm straight, it's very frustrating, your mind clouded, checking everything for so long that now you don't know how to stop doing it, you're not alone

Username: Carlos ACarlos A

Date posted: 44w ago

Intruder thoughts always appear when I just come across a trigger, it's as if he told me "oh, I see that you don't want to think of something uncomfortable at this precise moment, well take, and let it be repeated" and every time I'm ruminating, I give reasons about what I want and thoughts arise that look for a way to invalidate it, always looking for the "what if?", of course I'm killed by the idea that I'm with I give reasons for what I want and thoughts arise that look for a way to invalidate it, always looking for the “what if?”, of course the idea that I am condemned to live that way even if I don't want it kills me, that I have no other option, he fell into depression because of it

Username: ofcourseOliviaofcourseOlivia

Date posted: 44w ago

hey, i really feel for you dealing with those intrusive thoughts that just won't play by the rules of logic or reason. it's tough when ocd picks on something as personal as your identity and tries to skew your sense of self. remember, you're not alone in this fight, and your feelings are totally valid. 🌈 by the way, have you heard about this new AI-powered OCD therapy tool called 'unstuck?' i used to struggle too until my NOCD therapist recommended unstuck (unstuckmyocd.com/try) to me. i think it'll be especially helpful for you because it gives personalized support for challenging moments, just like an OCD therapist, but specifically with those hard-to-shake thoughts related to your identity. i hate when people promote stuff, but i really think it can help you because it's changed my life. lmk if you have Qs or just want to talk more! <3

Username: the.netherlandsssthe.netherla...

Date posted: 44w ago

omfg literally experiencing the same thing 😭 heres to hoping it gets better for both of us 🙏

Username: flippy15flippy15

Date posted: 7w ago

Same. Except straight and all I do is continuously asking my self if I’m straight or gay when I’m so in love with my husband and only am attracted to men and when I’m like ok I’m straight I just feel the doubt and I’m sick of it and can’t stop the questioning like wtf and why

Username: missbluesky

Date posted: 3y ago

I feel like I can’t identify intrusive thoughts…I’m just constantly trying to figure my sexuality out. Like, it’s the first thing on my mind in the morning and the last thing before I go to bed and I’ve been diagnosed with OCD several times but like??? Why do some people know they’re having “1-3 thoughts per hour” if I can’t even identify them?

Sexual Orientation OCD

Username: phew99914

Date posted: 1y ago

I don’t feel like I know myself anymore

Having constant intrusive thoughts is exhausting. They have made me question my relationship, my sexual orientation, if i am a good person, and so much more. It’s weird how they are all connected in a way too. A lot of these thoughts that I have feel so real, and i’m just now learning how to tell the difference between what is true and what is an intrusive thought. but at this point i cannot tell. they all feel real but still make me so uncomfortable. i’m scared i actually feel a certain way, whether that be i don’t actually love my boyfriend, i am actually bisexual or a lesbian, or that i am actually a horrible person and have done horrible things. it’s hard to not believe these things when they are constantly nagging at you. im scared im not with the right person. im scared that im not attracted to him enough, im scared we don’t have enough in common and im scared we don’t think the same way. im scared im supposed to be with someone else and that i am hurting him by lying. and im terrified i am lying about my sexual orientation and using him to deny my true thoughts. im scared i am actually bisexual or lesbian. i think i can accept being bisexual more than being a full blown lesbian, but it’s still scary. im not sure if i am actually bisexual or if i just have intrusive thoughts. and i don’t know what to do from there if i am. if i am bisexual that means to me i have to be with a woman? even though i don’t want to and i’ve never seen myself with a woman. i keep replaying memories with girls and if i showed any signs. and then i get scared that because i was aroused by “specific” porn that it means i am lesbian. all of these things make me feel like a horrible person for treating my boyfriend this way, lying to myself, and for being so confused. it’s exhausting. i don’t even know where to start to get help. im scared that i have had OCD my whole life, and if i have, i’m scared a lot of my feelings and thoughts weren’t even real. im scared when i liked a boy, it was actually my OCD. im scared that when i’ve been attracted to something, it was just my OCD. i don’t know what to do

Username: Vee <3

Date posted: 43w ago

I’ve never felt more terrible in my life.

I feel so disconnected from myself. Like everything I’ve ever been happy and comfortable with has been a lie. I don’t know what and what not to believe anymore. I feel like I’m straight/bi now. I keep having these thoughts that tell me “you’ll get with a man and like it. You know it” and I hate it. I hate the groinal response I get with sexual intrusive thoughts too. I try to keep in mind that attraction is supposed to feel good and natural, but OCD tricks me into thinking that the hypotheticals DO feel good. Just never natural. I hate it.

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Why do intrusive thoughts about attraction to men persist despite knowing I'm a lesbian?

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