JohnKit
- Date posted
- 1y
brenoaugustobrenoaugusto
- Date posted
- 1y
Let me tell you a story: I experience both CTPSD and OCD, i’m queer and, as it’s common to some of us, i’ve spent a fair share of time searching for a therapist whose background would support my needs. At the beginning, intrusiveness got so intense to the point i experienced suicidal ideation — so, when seeking help, i had no time to make good use of my own criteria, which led me to a therapist that not only wasn’t trained in treating OCD, but also wasn’t culture informed about LGBTQIAP+. All of this led me to intrusive thoughts regarding my own sexual orientation, and it target it so hard to the point of creating a false idea that it is deviant and generated false attraction towards the opposite gender. I spent days in spiral, ‘til i dropped this professional’s sessions, got support from my own community and started a CBT-oriented therapy. Just to illustrate how intense intrusiveness can get.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 1y
@brenoaugusto So u are lgbt but ur OCD made u fear u were actually straight? That’s like the opposite of what I’m goin thru. Sometimes I know it’s OCD, like I have all the symptoms but then there’s so much proof in my head that says I’m also gay or bisexual, but I don’t wanna be
brenoaugustobrenoaugusto
- Date posted
- 1y
@Anonymous Yes, that’s what happened to me. Its sensation of having evidences is generated by OCD intrusiveness. It’s hard.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 1y
@brenoaugusto Yeh I keep checking, imagining scenarios to see my arousal levels. Like right now, and my private got a little thicker and grew a tiny bit but then I started to touch it aswel to see my reaction further and I think I got almost a partial. The worst part is when it looks like u want it in ur head. I had to imagine what the guy was feeling to even kickstart the arousal tho, like as if I was him
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 1y
Yeh obviously bro, if it didn’t feel real u wouldn’t be on this app
JohnKitJohnKit
- Date posted
- 1y
@Anonymous I don’t have intrusive thought about same sex anymore and it scare me that My attraction toward woman is not back and I still have doubt about my sexual orientation
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 1y
@JohnKit Search up “HOCD back door spike”
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 1y
@JohnKit And how did your intrusive thoughts to men go away?
JohnKitJohnKit
- Date posted
- 1y
@Anonymous I don’t even know hwo it go away
Gordy Gordy
- Date posted
- 1y
There is this false attraction,analyzing everything in the past and etc..but don’t worry if you feel discomfort form this it’s ocd 🤷🏼♂️and let it be dont panic just let it be trust god and everything is going to be okey brother 🙏🏻I’m experiencing this for almost a year don’t worry !
JohnKitJohnKit
- Date posted
- 1y
@Gordy I experienced it for a few months now
Related posts
confused writer
- Date posted
- 21w
HOCD made you feel horn.y?
Like I feel geroinals ALL DAY and it’s stuck… I think I’m bi. But this still drives me nuts.
user74128588493
- Date posted
- 13w
hocd and scared it’s internalized homophobia
I’ve been struggling with HOCD for years, and it started with an intrusive thought about being gay when I was younger. It came up at age 12 and ever since, I’ve been trapped in a cycle of doubt and anxiety. I obsess over whether or not I’m secretly gay, even though I don’t feel that way at all. What makes it worse is the fear that I might have internalized homophobia, and that’s why I’m having these obsessive thoughts. I worry that my anxiety is a sign that I’m repressing something or rejecting part of myself. It feels like my mind keeps repeating the same question—am I gay?—and no matter how much reassurance I get, the fear doesn’t go away. I used to pray for my family members, fearing that if I didn’t, something bad would happen to them, and now it feels like I have to control these thoughts, or something will go wrong. For a while, it was quieter, but a week ago, the thoughts spiraled up again, and now the anxiety feels overwhelming again. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know how to break free from this constant loop of doubt. Has anyone dealt with the fear of internalized homophobia alongside HOCD? How do you manage the anxiety that comes with it?
geodrimilis
- Date posted
- 13w
About hocd
This shit has to be one of the most confusing subtypes of ocd because no matter what you will never find clarity. When it started it wasn’t as bad and confusing because it was mostly anxiety. But when it started getting physical that’s when it got extremely confusing because I feel tension and fear when thinking of gay stuff but while testing I get arousal sensations so the big question is “if I am afraid of it how can my body respond as if I’m into it and if I’m into it how does my body respond with fear as if I’m not” and it’s endless. I wish I never started testing my arousal so I never started getting groinals to gay stuff in the first place. But there’s no going back now.
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