I’m losing everything

I feel like giving up. I don’t want to but it’s so hard and the only person that can make it better is me. But I’ve given up so many things that are important to me because of my OCD. I’ve isolated myself so much and given up on my dreams because of all this fear. Sometimes I feel like I need to protect everyone else from me and my doubts and insecurities. I feel like I’m hurting everyone or have the potential to let everyone down. I hate this.

Username: Jigjon99Jigjon99

Date posted: 45w ago

This is something I tell my son when he gets discouraged. You’re allowed to be tired, cry, fall, and fail; but you are not allowed to give up.

Username: anonymous00001anonymous00001

Date posted: 45w ago

@Jigjon99 ❤️❤️

Username: OrtwinOrtwin

Date posted: 46w ago

Hey I feel you! It can be really hard and sometimes the emotions can overwhelm you but they are only temporary. I also experience these feelings of shame, disgust and self hatred. And sitting with it can be really difficult sometimes, but you can handle this and it WILL get better! If you have thoughts of suicide or self harm please dont hesitate to call for help, everyone will be thankful to help you and if I can only write you I will give anything to help you as well no matter if your mind tells you youre a criminal. Have you started therapy yet?

Username: OrtwinOrtwin

Date posted: 46w ago

And oh yes, the fear, it can manipulate into believing there is no joy in anything, you feel like everything it touches it corrupts your love for it. When in reality, it just wants to protect you from getting hurt. There were a dozen of occurences when i got angry of myself being anxious, not able to perform. ERP can help you reduce the anxiety symptoms, but you also need to let go of all the expectations you set for yourself. Think about it, your anxiety wants to protect you from not being in control so you react to it by beating yourself up for being anxious. I know how tempting that is because Ive experienced it myself but it will not lead you anywhere. What helps me the most is a combination of response prevention and mindful acceptance and empathy for yourself. Now the process is not difficult, the difficulty lies in the discipline to work on that even if you dont always see results immediately. But I know that Ive found so much power in myself I didnt even know existed. And you will find that too, I believe in you! If you feel everything is too much right now, remember: it is a sign of strength to ask for help so do not fear it no matter what your mind tells you, please dont hesitate to call the ambulance if you feel you are giving up - please do that not only for yourself but for all the people who love you.

Username: anonymous00001anonymous00001

Date posted: 45w ago

@Ortwin You are a very, very kind person. Thank you for your words. The phrase “I’ve found so much power in myself I didn’t even know existed” is very powerful. I hope to find it too. Thank you

Username: anonymous00001anonymous00001

Date posted: 45w ago

@Ortwin And yes, I started ERP a few weeks ago and I really like my therapist. Now that I’m feeling a bit more regulated today, I actually see what you mean by having expectations of myself not to be anxious, perhaps that’s where a lot of the self judgement and frustration is coming from. I hope to remember that when I’m struggling next time.

Username: OrtwinOrtwin

Date posted: 45w ago

@Emmanonymous I am glad I could cheer you up and its great that you have started therapy and like your therapist. Keep up the good work, wish you all the best!

Username: DutchgirlDutchgirl

Date posted: 46w ago

I’ve lost so much. OCD is relentless but we have to be strong!

Username: anonymous00001anonymous00001

Date posted: 45w ago

@Dutchgirl ❤️❤️

Username: nicky310

Date posted: 6y ago

Guys I’m sorry I feel so defeated, I just want to give up. I’ve lost all joy and every thing that used to give me purpose to fight has lost meaning. OCD has stripped everything from me and I don’t know what to do. I hate feeling good and then feeling bad. This cycle is terrible

Username: Make the mos...

Date posted: 3y ago

I don’t know if I’m ever going to get better, if I’m ever going to feel good, if I’m ever going to be able to carry on with this 10 years down the road. It’s torture with no exit, for me recently. Every time I bring up my OCD around family, they get annoyed. I can’t go to friends because it has only been of temporary relief. I am literally tearing up as I write this. I’m afraid I’m so close to convincing myself of the horrible lies my OCD has been telling me. I just can’t, I don’t know if there’s anyone or thing that can make me feel better. It’s been like lifting gigantic boulder up a steep mountain the entire day—and I could be crushed by it if not careful. If there is a god, why must he put me through this? I have already been through some many enough hard times in life, this OCD has only magnified any insecurities, anxieties, feeling of loneliness, self hate, and negative emotions.

Username: BradOCD

Date posted: 3y ago

Okay so I’m trying to accept it but it’s just making me feel depressed. I don’t want it. I want to be happy with my girlfriend again. She was the most important thing in my life and then the OCD hit back like it did when I was a child. And brought up all these insecurities that I had made piece with or hadn’t even realised I had. Now there feels like there’s a glass screen between me and her when she talks about our future I feel like a fraud. I hate ocd. Even if I have been in denial my whole life (which I didn’t think I was) I was happy and content and confident in myself. Now it’s all gone, and it feels like I have no choice but to just tell the ocd it was right all along and live that life because that’s what it feels like I want. But I don’t know what’s me and what’s ocd anymore (even saying that sounds like a lie).

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I’m losing everything

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