New Mom

You know what you did, and what you didn’t do before my son was born I had so many things I was worried about. Some of them were completely off the wall for me too. What if he doesn’t look like me or his dad? What if he comes out fuzzy? What if his head shaped funny? For me all of that set aside when I was holding my beautiful baby boy for the first time I know that’s not always the case for others what help me was things like taking relaxing bath or talking to someone else that could reassure me that my child was perfectly healthy. Me him and his dad we’re gonna be a happy family, everything was OK. A big part for me was not spending a lot of time alone because my body and my mind were under a lot of stress getting ready to bring my son into the world and that stress really messed with my head if you are alone, try listening to an audiobook to give your thoughts to wonder or YouTube if you find something you’re using to listen to is stressing you out more listen to something different take a new hobby write down letters for you and baby to read later. Do something fun with you and your husband activity that I do and have my son do is look yourself in the eyes in the mirror when I was first told to do this I thought it was silly, but then when I realized when I was looking myself in the eyes in the mirror that there were things I couldn’t say to her about myself and then, at first, I couldn’t even look myself in the eyes, and I still have a hard time saying I’m saying these things to myself and often say I’m saying these things to hurt the girl in the mirror like we’re two different people look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you’re beautiful and you’re caring a beautiful child that you and your husband created that you and your husband will both love y’all and you already do one if you Christian or even some other beliefs talk about the power of the tongue and what you talk about you bring about to what you say to yourself especially when making eye contact with yourself has a really big impact on your thoughts this being said when you catch yourself having a negative thought try thinking about something else or if that is telling you to do something that’ll make it better or maybe make that thought go away just completely avoid that don’t do that thoughts telling you to do try not to worry about what that is telling you to worry about think about why you know that thought is nonsense. Remind yourself it’s just a thought it’s something that will pass look at yourself in the mirror I set reminders on my phone of things like you’re doing great today another hour and you’re free to go home and enjoy time with your beautiful baby boy etc. sometime when I get those reminders it’s in the middle of when things are hectic and I’m stressed and hearing those things just gives me some security I let others know when I need to hear those things and every now and then I’ll find someone else to tell me, but it also has really helped me and realizing I have the ability to tell those things to myself I call it doing things at future me will appreciate all right done little quotes are a little notes for me to find when I am struggling with a negative thought or dragon thoughts, what I call purple dragon thoughts has to do with a thing a therapist explained to me when I was younger if someone walked up to you and said hey, your disgusting liar or cheater you catch yourself maybe getting defensive or do you start to question what did I do? That would make them think that? Do you try to do everything in your power to not be whatever they accused you of? To try to argue my point of why I’m not whatever someone would call me so the purple dragon example if someone walked up to you and said you know what you’re a disgusting purple dragon, what would you do my answer look at them very confused because I’m not purple or scaly? Which brought me to the conclusion of just because someone says it doesn’t make it true sometimes you have to compare what someone says that’s completely off-the-wall or what that voice inside your own head says it completely off-the-wall with something else that’s as completely off-the-wall, but more digestible for you to be able to process it and that’s perfectly OK