- Date posted
- 1y
My last post
It’s been a few days but can anyone give me some feedback on my last post? It’s a vent about everything and I just want to know what everyone thinks. Should be able to find it on one of the tags that I have. Thank you
It’s been a few days but can anyone give me some feedback on my last post? It’s a vent about everything and I just want to know what everyone thinks. Should be able to find it on one of the tags that I have. Thank you
It didn’t seem like you were in therapy. I’d strongly suggest that though. Also in mental illness your judgement is always clouded. Your handling of the intrusive thoughts don’t seem healthy, regardless of the feelings they cause you to have. I wouldn’t attribute it to bad character though (like it seems you do) but rather just a symptom of the illness. Sry if I misunderstood your text, I’m not a native speaker.
@LoveMeAlone It’s ok and I had like 3 sessions with her but that was a month ago haven’t done a fourth session. It’s because I haven’t actually been doing anything to actually help myself I think. Idk. I appreciate your feedback though.
@Jay222 Hey! I'm so happy you have been going to therapy! Make that 4th appointment, you'll be glad. Not going can be a form of avoidance which will just strengthen your OCD symptoms. It doesn't matter if you haven't been doing anything. Tell your therapist. They can help you identify the blockers causing you to not do the therapy. It's common for people with OCD who are doing ERP therapy to procrastinate and then feel guilty and then not help themselves. I literally went to a support group here on NOCD yesterday called "self-compassion" and that's what the group leader said. So please take the step of making the appointment because you haven't done anything wrong or bad. You're dealing with the same disorder the rest of us our and we all do those things You're not alone.
@Mindilini I don’t think I’ve been “avoiding” that appointment, I had to get new credit card information I have to change on here that I haven’t had the energy of time to do cause I’m always working. Which is another reason as to why I can’t really make an appointment that easily. So no it’s not really “avoidance”. The only blockers that I know of is me being too lazy or not knowing how to do it properly. Along with ofc not feeling comfortable being around the things that I have those thoughts about.
Oh I understand! I'm sorry I misunderstood your original post. Funny enough, I also had a similar experience recently. I had some billing issues that prevented me from being able to get in right away. So I get that.
@Mindilini It’s ok. Thank you for your feedback
So I’m always telling people who say I’m not getting any help or advice on my post that maybe those people just don’t know what to say or they’re afraid of possibly making the situation worse… well while that is completely understandable I feel like the amount of help/advice/ interaction has went down drastically on this app.. again not complaining I’m thankful for everyone on here but I just wanted to know if others have felt the same way
I don’t know if it’s worth it to keep going. I have so many diagnoses, so little support, and constant struggles with finding the right medication. My immune system is weak, I have multiple deficiencies, and I’m dealing with so many physical health problems on top of severe OCD. It’s just too much. On top of everything, my family treats me so not okay. Every single day is a fight just to keep going—to wake up, to eat, to take care of myself even a little. I’ve lost over ten pounds in the last two weeks from how depressed I’ve been. And instead of support, all I get is blame. My family constantly throws my struggles in my face, calling me selfish, as if I’m choosing this. I am trying so hard to push past all of this. But after five long months of severe OCD, anxiety, depression, panic disorder, and everything else making life unbearable, I am exhausted. And to be called lazy? Selfish? *Worthless*? How am I supposed to keep going when the people around me refuse to see how hard I’m trying? I don’t want this anymore. None of this suffering feels worth it. What am I fighting for just to be treated this way by my own family? To be yelled at for the look on my face, when my face reflects nothing but the stress, panic, and despair I’m drowning in? Am I still supposed to smile for them? This isn’t fair. No one should have to live like this. I don’t deserve to be treated this way, I’m really trying to keep going, but I just want everything to end.
First off - I’m sorry, I post here a lot. My thoughts are going to be scattered because I have the adhd/ocd/executive dysfunction wombo combo. Im so embarrassed I am THIS neurodivergent. I swear my brain couldn’t pick one struggle and settle with it. I’m not making these diagnoses quirky personality traits by any means, in fact, in this post im venting about how exhausting and embarassed I am living with a brain like this on the daily. I need to hear someone’s advice please. I love hearing everyone’s advice on posts because it’s so useful, and brings me back down to reality. Everyone on here gives advice so tastefully in a way where it doesn’t feed into the self reassurance compulsion, but it’s also been thorough and constructive enough where it’s reminded me to ground myself in a healthy way. I love seeing others helping others, it soothes me. This community has been so kind, and I’m so happy I found it. I wish I could ask more, but I have so many questions I think it’d drive everyone here crazy lol. I am doing erp therapy now, and it’s been teaching me so many amazing techniques. I’ve been making progress. However, I sometimes have my moments of vunerablity. I’ve been experiencing this especially now more than ever because I am going through a breakup. He did it through text after nearly 9 months together. I’d do anything for him and love him through anything, and he broke my heart when I least expected it. I’d make his bed for him multiple times, but I haven’t done that for myself in years. I’d sit with him for hours to watch and do anything he likes, but he’d never do the same and I’d never do the same for me. I’m also at fault because I was too scared to speak up so I let a lot of disrespect slide. Why did my ocd do that? Why does ocd make me people please even when I don’t want to? Why does OCD make me care so much about things that will never effect me (like wanting validation from a random person on the street and hoping they’ll think I’m pretty enough to look at), but then when it comes to my future or positive wellbeing (like focusing on college/doing well in classes/personal hygiene/health), forces me to not care/neglect myself and those needs? I don’t understand it. Ocd makes me think everything’s a setup or a trap. I can never believe that I am fine right where I want to be. Why am I so hard on myself? Why do I even think this much? I care and feel so deeply but it becomes unhealthy so fast because ocd makes me fixate and I stay there for a while. For some reason I let this breakup define my self worth. I let it topple into the ocd fear that I will never make it in life - that I won’t be successful, I’ll never get the career I want, the love I want, or the life I want. My OCD’s version of “logic” isn’t even logical. Yes, I understand how the breakup means feelings of low self worth which will then topple into feeling bad about other things. But why has my brain been wired to think this way? Why does it seem so easy for everyone else to function normally with life but not me? Honestly this is the first time in my life where I’m dedicated to focusing on myself and learning more about myself instead of others in my life and it’s a very odd and bizarre feeling. I’m excited of course, but I’m also scared. My ocd makes me ruminate like “what if I will never make the most of this life I’ve been given”, “what if I truly have no worth and the most I will ever be in other people’s lives is a background character”, “why do I care if I’m a background character or not? I should feel guilty and ignorant for assuming everyone will automatically like me”, “are people lying to me when they call me pretty, smart or kind?”, “I need to look and sound perfect in both pictures, videos and in real life. I will never be satisfied for accepting who I am now”, and a bunch of other annoying questions. But sometimes it’s like I just can’t take the reality for what it is but at the same time, but I also acknowledge that I know this is ocd talking. This is so, so difficult. Do I make any sense with what I’m saying? Can anyone help?
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