It’s been a few days but can anyone give me some feedback on my last post? It’s a vent about everything and I just want to know what everyone thinks. Should be able to find it on one of the tags that I have. Thank you
It didn’t seem like you were in therapy. I’d strongly suggest that though. Also in mental illness your judgement is always clouded. Your handling of the intrusive thoughts don’t seem healthy, regardless of the feelings they cause you to have. I wouldn’t attribute it to bad character though (like it seems you do) but rather just a symptom of the illness. Sry if I misunderstood your text, I’m not a native speaker.
@LoveMeAlone It’s ok and I had like 3 sessions with her but that was a month ago haven’t done a fourth session. It’s because I haven’t actually been doing anything to actually help myself I think. Idk. I appreciate your feedback though.
@Jay222 Hey! I'm so happy you have been going to therapy! Make that 4th appointment, you'll be glad. Not going can be a form of avoidance which will just strengthen your OCD symptoms. It doesn't matter if you haven't been doing anything. Tell your therapist. They can help you identify the blockers causing you to not do the therapy. It's common for people with OCD who are doing ERP therapy to procrastinate and then feel guilty and then not help themselves. I literally went to a support group here on NOCD yesterday called "self-compassion" and that's what the group leader said. So please take the step of making the appointment because you haven't done anything wrong or bad. You're dealing with the same disorder the rest of us our and we all do those things You're not alone.
@Mindilini I don’t think I’ve been “avoiding” that appointment, I had to get new credit card information I have to change on here that I haven’t had the energy of time to do cause I’m always working. Which is another reason as to why I can’t really make an appointment that easily. So no it’s not really “avoidance”. The only blockers that I know of is me being too lazy or not knowing how to do it properly. Along with ofc not feeling comfortable being around the things that I have those thoughts about.
Oh I understand! I'm sorry I misunderstood your original post. Funny enough, I also had a similar experience recently. I had some billing issues that prevented me from being able to get in right away. So I get that.
@Mindilini It’s ok. Thank you for your feedback
I don’t have much of a support system outside of my bf, so I find myself here a lot. I think I just need to vent, so forgive me if I do this too often. It helps to have a community of people who truly understand. I haven’t felt this debilitated by mental illness in months. There has to be some explanation, maybe it’s hormonal, because I feel like I’ve completely lost myself. The panic hits in waves, sudden and overwhelming, like my head is submerged in lava, burning and suffocating. Then, for a brief moment, I feel almost normal and wonder what all the fear was about. But it never lasts. The chaos always comes back. I even considered going to the ER because I’m not sure I can trust myself anymore. Something has to be wrong, because this isn’t me. My life isn’t perfect, but it’s not unbearable either. Since I withdrew from school, I’ve been so much less stressed that even my cycle, which has been irregular for years, has somehow regulated itself. But even with that, I feel like a failure. I was one semester away from finishing, so close, but OCD hit me harder than it ever has. It felt like drowning, gasping for air, reaching for something solid, only to be dragged under again and again. Now, I feel like that again, but worse. I feel hollow, like something is wrong with me at my core. I don’t just feel sad; I feel broken. I break down into uncontrollable sobs every few hours, and I don’t even know why. I just know that whatever is happening, OCD is taking full advantage of how vulnerable I feel. Is this what MDD feels like? Everyone tells me I have it, and it’s been confirmed by my psych, my pcp, and my therapist, but I still can’t seem to fully see it. I don’t know how to separate what’s OCD from what might be another disorder. I’m sorry to anyone also going through such a hard time, my heart goes out to you 🤍
So I’m always telling people who say I’m not getting any help or advice on my post that maybe those people just don’t know what to say or they’re afraid of possibly making the situation worse… well while that is completely understandable I feel like the amount of help/advice/ interaction has went down drastically on this app.. again not complaining I’m thankful for everyone on here but I just wanted to know if others have felt the same way
I don’t know if it’s worth it to keep going. I have so many diagnoses, so little support, and constant struggles with finding the right medication. My immune system is weak, I have multiple deficiencies, and I’m dealing with so many physical health problems on top of severe OCD. It’s just too much. On top of everything, my family treats me so not okay. Every single day is a fight just to keep going—to wake up, to eat, to take care of myself even a little. I’ve lost over ten pounds in the last two weeks from how depressed I’ve been. And instead of support, all I get is blame. My family constantly throws my struggles in my face, calling me selfish, as if I’m choosing this. I am trying so hard to push past all of this. But after five long months of severe OCD, anxiety, depression, panic disorder, and everything else making life unbearable, I am exhausted. And to be called lazy? Selfish? *Worthless*? How am I supposed to keep going when the people around me refuse to see how hard I’m trying? I don’t want this anymore. None of this suffering feels worth it. What am I fighting for just to be treated this way by my own family? To be yelled at for the look on my face, when my face reflects nothing but the stress, panic, and despair I’m drowning in? Am I still supposed to smile for them? This isn’t fair. No one should have to live like this. I don’t deserve to be treated this way, I’m really trying to keep going, but I just want everything to end.
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