Struggling with guilt and fear of God's displeasure due to sexual activity.

Religious and spiritual OCD

I have this boyfriend who i’ve been with for over a year and I love him and I felt like I was ready so I lost my virginity to him and we’ve been having sex for a while. I’ve grown this extreme fear that God hates me and every time I do it, I’m disappointing him or like he no longer likes me because I’ve done it. I tried to pray and ask if I shouldn’t be doing it or if I should stop but I never really get any response or clear answers so I’ve been continuing to do it because I love my boyfriend and I want to be normal and feel normal but the feeling of God hating me seeps and every time we are getting together and every day throughout my life. I go to a Catholic school so every time we pray or God has brought up I feel deep guilt I feel like I’m not worthy of praying, or speaking to God anymore. We had reconciliation the other week, and I finally got up the courage to tell the priest that I lost my virginity and that I felt like God didn’t love me and was looking for some reassurance. the priest responded by saying he doesn’t think God is mad at me but he’s just disappointed in me. This actually made me feel a lot worse because it kind of confirmed the idea that God was disappointed or didn’t like me which to me is very scary and makes me feel sick. A lot of the time it feels like I’m being told I shouldn’t do it and I know I shouldn’t do it but I do it anyway, so I feel like I’m gonna go to hell. But at the same time I feel like if I didn’t have OCD, I wouldn’t be thinking those things and it wouldn’t matter so I feel like I really don’t know what to do.

Username: I'm>ocdI'm>ocd

Date posted: 39w ago

OCD is what is causing you to feel the way you do, and causing you to seek reassurance. God loves you. Know that. God knows that you have strong feelings for your boyfriend, and God understands. We are all part of God's plan, and God knows the path we will take in life even before we do. God knows you're trying to live a life committed to your beliefs, and that you're also trying to live your life in the way that brings you happiness. God wants you to be happy. God doesn't expect us to be perfect. God is perfection, but we are not, and that's ok because it's supposed to be that way. We do our best to be our best. You're not giving your intimacy to someone without any feelings towards that person. No, you're sharing that part of you with someone you seem to care a lot about. God understands your actions are based in love. Know that God loves you and God wants you to be kind to yourself and show yourself some love too.

Username: AnonymousteengirlAnonymoustee...

Date posted: 39w ago

@Exhausted Uncertainty Thank you so much, I really needed this. Bless your soul🙏🏼

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 39w ago

I struggled with this for years. Now I’m happily married and the thought has never come back. Catholicism is great because you can go to confession and start fresh each time. It’s true that sex before marriage is generally considered a sin but I haven’t found any language in the Bible explicitly forbidding it. If you don’t want to continue having sex before marriage then tell your boyfriend. If he can’t respect that, then I think you may have realized he’s not the right one. One of my exes had the same fear and told me that, and I went to church with her and was very supportive of not having sex. But God doesn’t hate you. Just decide what’s more important to you - leading a Catholic life to the letter, or being “normal” and having sex before marriage. I think once you choose a path you’ll feel better. This is also the easiest sin to solve for because once you get married it resolves naturally! Before then, there’s abstinence and confession. Pick your path. You’ll be fine 😎

Username: AnonymousteengirlAnonymoustee...

Date posted: 39w ago

@Anonymous Thank you, this means alot to me!🙏🏼🤍

Username: hateocd123

Date posted: 5y ago

I'm a big jumbled mess. The hocd has backed down quite a bit to the point where I was starting to have moments of forgetting and my attraction to guys came back. Here's the issue. I'm a Christian and my boyfriend and I are in an unequally yoked relationship. I feel like to any normal person this wouldn't matter but my OCD moved on to this, picking at it viciously. Of course it makes me sad that we don't have the same view about the existence of God, but it's never bothered me THIS much. Also the fact that we have premarital sex is starting to bother me as well when it never did before. It's killing me. I feel like I can't talk to God anymore. I've been obsessing over it all day. What do I do? I don't want to break up with him. He is my other half. I love him so much. I know this is a really sticky subject. Please no anti religious comments.

Username: Beth172

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

ROCD? RELIGIOUS OCD? In denial?

After having a religious conversation with my mom I’m feeling quite triggered. She means well, it’s just I’ve avoided going to church ever since getting serious with my bf because every time I go I get this pit in my stomach and this horrible feeling that God is telling me to leave my relationship. But I don’t want to leave my relationship. So I can’t go to church, read the Bible or anything because it triggers this intense reaction and I end up believing I have to leave even though I love my boyfriend and really don’t want to. is anyone else struggling with this? And at the same time, I have so much guilt and feel so scared that I’m going to die because I haven’t been living a Catholic lifestyle and am afraid to die and go to hell. I don’t know but I’m so sad and lost:(

Username: amysmith

Date posted: 1y ago

religious

hi guys it’s been awhile since i’ve been on here but right now i’m starting to get really scared i’m scared to go to hell because i swear, have intrusive thoughts and compulsions (obviously) and i look at and do s*xually immoral acts i am a catholic person and i’ve always stood by the notion that if i act with good intentions then there is no issue, but my mum was talking about her fear of going to hell (her ocd subtypes are about this) and now i feel guilty when i sin, even tho i only want peace in the world i go to reddit and look at some answers for this stuff (i have a really bad compulsion of searching questions on google for hours) and they mostly say i will go to hell if i sin i also get really depressed then question god’s existence and then wonder why i should be alive and stuff and then i’m guilty later i really don’t want this to become a major subtype. i have health ocd but it’s calmed down since i’ve been diagnosed with a health condition (for some reason??) can someone, christian or not, please respond with their experience with this subtype or anyone with advice at all?

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Struggling with guilt and fear of God's displeasure due to sexual activity.

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