This false memory is killing me I don’t know if it’s real or fake and I don’t know how to stop worrying about it someone please help

TW!! POCD Please help. I’ve been doing decent lately but just need support on something that has kept me stuck. I can’t tell if this is a real memory or not, but I’m pretty sure it is. Maybe distorted. But feels so real. And I’m terrified. Last year before my huge OCD spike. So before I even knew I had OCD. I remember being around kids at work, and this girl in a skirt was on a climber on the playground and I remember looking up and you could see her underwear. I remember staring for a minute, and it was kind of like a car accident, I couldn’t look away. I remember finally coming to my senses and saying I wonder what people would think if they knew I was doing this. After that, I completely forgot about it until my spike in October and I’ve been living in a prison of regret and guilt ever since. I sometimes see that child at work still and I get a rush of anxiety and guilt. I just don’t know how to move pass this, for this reason it gives my OCD proof that I am what I fear so much. Is it possible that I was experiencing intrusive thoughts then and just didn’t care enough or realize it. I’m so broken from this. I hate what I’m going through. I hate myself if this memory is real.

"pOCD and zOCD false memories" I'm so sorry for venting... I need help... Or just someone to lend me an ear. I'm suffering from really serious, really bad false memories that are not only illegal but also make me feel like a monster. Basically, my false memories are extended to these two topics only and are always of a sexual nature. 1. That I used my pets as tools to obtain sexual gratification. (and or touched them) 2. That I touched a child (during an actual real event) inappropriately. I don't have images for these false memories... It's more fears than anything else! I feel like I forgot about them or I'm just in denial. The 1st one comes from a situation where I masturb- near my cat. (she was in my bed but I can't recall where she was standing). There's also another situation that I have also masturb- near my dog but in this case, she wasn't near me. Just in the same room as me, in separate beds. The 2nd is from a real event where I played with this child in the pool. I can only remember one physical interaction that was giving her a piggyback ride. In conclusion, I'm so afraid these are real and if they are real, then I should be punished! I don't want to go to jail because I'm terrified of that place so the only option is to kill myself. I don't deserve to be happy or even alive...

Can someone pls help me, my current intrusive thought is rlly severe. I saw a very disturbing & gruesome video recently, & I don't think it's real, it's a hoax by clearly a bad person, but now the image of it won't stop popping back into my mind. It is triggered by almost everything, & it is rlly annoying, like a song stuck in my head, except it's something gory & sick, so it's worse! For those curious, I will NOT be attaching the link because it's too traumatizing, trust me, I am doing u a favor, & curiosity is what killed the cat for me, figuratively speaking. It's like that thing with OCD where if u try not to think of a pink elephant or a brown bear, that is exactly what you're going to picture or think of almost instantaneously. But ontop of feeling absolutely repulsed, disgusted, & full of anxiety, I am also feeling guilty & ashamed for even having such thoughts around Christmas time especially, when things are suppose to be innocent. I regret watching it so much, & feel f'd up for the times I "rewatched" it, but only in an attempt to find some sort of evidence that it was fake, because I so desperately want it to be fake. But the amount of ppl in comments who say it's a prosthetic are less than the amount of ppl who argue that it is real, so I'm outnumbered, & now doubting my judgement, even though I did find some near-obvious signs of it being staged. Pls provide whatever advice u know, because it has already gone on way too long, & I can't have it constantly resurfacing from my memory just to torment me. Distractions (if & when they work), are so temporary.