Anyone have tips on Relationship OCD, and do you share the intrusive thoughts and tell your girlfriend you are dealing with this? Or keep it to yourself.

You should tell you’re girlfriend about it. Don’t grill her with questions and worries. Just let her know what you struggle with. Communication helps

She is currently my ex now. Going on 4 weeks now. I expressed how I had doubts, and worries about us. Compatibility issues, and things like that. I realize now it was the OCD destroying this again. Having these thoughts I figured by letting them out and telling her I deal with this OCD, I feel it hurt us. I should have kept a lid on it.

You can tell her, just once. I agree with Magdalenelaine. Don’t tell her your worries if for reassurance or questions but let her know you’re struggling (: But if you confess and involve her in compulsions, then it will be harmful for your progress. I found that when I stopped talking about my OCD, and stopped googling, my anxiety went down a lot! It really helped me out. I keep most of my worries to myself and it helps me because when usually I ask someone for help, it makes me crave more answers and makes me think about it more and ruminate. Just some thought! Good luck!

Thank you

@Hockeyguy2019 edit: I’m so sorry to hear that. It ruined my relationship too ): it really made it worse and it hurt my boyfriend a lot. I had the same worries,, and i would tell him the thoughts and it hurt him. But eventually I stopped, and I don’t even mention it anymore. We’re doing the happiest we’ve been. I understand you feel a lot of regret, but you learned and that’s good. I am so sorry, it must feel really painful. If you want her back, try proving that you’re working on yourself and show it through actions. Explain to her that you’re sorry. Good luck man

Thank you. It is painful, and obviously you can best this. You are living proof. This is only my 2nd real relationship. My 1st one I dealt with the same issues, extremely bad this happened. I lost my identity. But I am working on it. She ended things with me even though I was still under the impression we were still together. I never once said I wanted things to end. She took our relationship status down on Facebook. That's how i found out. She had her issues, but I sometimes think the OCD was the real issue. I take blame for everything even though i shouldn't. Thank you all.

don’t blame yourself,, sometimes you don’t know for sure if that really is the reason. It really sucks you didn’t have an explanation or reasoning. Me and my boyfriend were broken up before and I recently got him back. I stopped contact with him, and I think that helped him miss me. Take some time to heal. You have a chance to heal now, and a chance to better yourself. Work on your erp, you know what you have issues with, and what you think caused problems. Work on those things. Eat foods and do things for you. Take care of yourself, it’s scarily sad and alone but it will get better everyday.

That you. I am getting messages from my exs mother that she misses me and all that, even though I didnt walk, she did. I am taking it day by day. I have always known I have OCD. I just didnt think it would attack the one thing I want in this world. A decent relationship worry free. I am trying to slay the demon and trying to beat this.

you got this!!! ? I think you would heal faster if you didn’t talk to your ex’s mother. Hope you can get help soon,, I like your determination!

I think you can tell your partner and those around you that you suffer from OCD but you shouldn’t go into the details of your intrusive thoughts with anyone but your therapist, unless your therapist tells you to. When you tell a partner about intrusive doubts, they can’t help but take them seriously and personally. It causes them unnecessary pain. It’s best to stick to generalities about how your OCD is going, ie ive been really struggling with it this week or it’s been getting better or I was making progress but I kind of backslid recently. You can tell them about how it makes you feel, ie I worry I’ll never be happy or I’m scared I won’t manage this well enough to achieve my goals. But stay away from sharing things like “my OCD makes me think I may not really love you or be attracted to you.” There is no way to share this without causing some pain and discomfort to your partner. And if I’m some off chance they can handle it for awhile, it will end up becoming a compulsion and they’ll likely end up reassuring you, which will actually hurt your progress anyways. It’s lose lose.

Thank you all for the insight. I feel like I destroyed the relationship or the possibility of it becoming something great. I tend to take all the blame even though there were things on her end. I always take 99% of the blame which I self inflict on myself. I dont know if its wise to revisit talking to my ex again, or having us try again. But I certainly feel and know that I wont be so forthcoming with my issues. I apparently let it out too soon, or shouldn't have said things at all. I have to fight it on my own. I just felt like I was keeping a giant secret from her. Only way I could get relief mentally was to let it out. But it still didnt make it much easier. Thank you all again so much