- Date posted
- 1y
How
How can i know that im not actually faking my attraction to hide my denial and hiding my real attraction like its so scary and confusing
How can i know that im not actually faking my attraction to hide my denial and hiding my real attraction like its so scary and confusing
Bro I feel the same and ask my self the same thing tbh with you I don’t even know
@JohnKit Yeah like i can acknowledge when a guy is good looking and i know I don’t want anything sexual but then my thoughts go like ur only faking it
I’m dealing with the same exact thing. My therapy starts weds but I’ve been trying some things on my own for erp therapy. At my job now when a man comes up to order instead of looking at the screen I stare right into their face and let whatever feelings or thoughts I have just come and go you can’t control these things. But you can get past them. Now if you’re worried you’re gonna look at a man and become attracted to him this could be a good step. It’ll be hard not to reassure yourself in those times but you have to tell yourself maybe, maybe not. Who cares it’ll help you lose interest in the topic.. anxiety can release dopamine and your brain doesn’t decipher between them. Just that you got a dopamine kick and because dopamine is a good chemical in the brain it’ll try to recreate that anxiety and give the brain its fix
Hi, I was lying on the bed with my female partner. We we laughing and joking and I bed humped (couple of thrusts) pretending that it was my male lecturer. She brought him up. I was just joking, I dont even know why I did it. I've never had sex with a man. I .on Prozac for GAD and am starting Propranolol tomorrow. Now I worry that my gf thinks I'm gay and I can't shake this thought. My nonsensical act and joke might have ruined my relationship and we have a child. My mind won't stop racing and it's convincing me that she is doing the same. She is being quiet though, which is worrying. My anxiety is out of control. I'm anxious because I'm confused about being confused and its making me doubt my sexuality. Help
Chat GPT told me its more likely comphet than ocd Idk im scared Im scared that if i accept the uncertainty to know the truth once and for all 1) i end up actually turning out to be lesbian 2) I lose the guy i love (or i think i love idk atp) I’m remembering so many moments of same sex attractions from when i was little Im so scared im so scared Its too much
im so scared that this is just denial and that im actuall gay. idk what to do anymore i need help. its just constant anxiety in my chest and i hate it. is there anything i can do to help?
I know I'm not one. But there is one OCD episode that destroyed my life. September 2024 I was obsessing over attraction, and one night I compulsively imagined a sensual seductive scenario and I was shocked that a trigger could emanate the gaze of seduction and sensuality, and I thought that it was proof of attraction, then I think that for a moment that I felt like I was attracted, I think I self sabotaged myself into accepting attraction and I think like it worked. I still don't know if it was genuine attraction. I felt suicidal immediately later and thought about ending my life until I discovered on my notes that it was a "short moment" and I assumed that it was just OCD; but now I don't believe so. I have confused memories, maybe some are fabricated. I have different versions of what happened: 1. The attraction part was simply me perceiveing the objective seduction and sensuality look and instead of feeling distressed i felt that it looked seductive and I got shocked and that was what I thought it was attraction in my memory. 2. I was actually seducted and I'm in denial 3. I felt seduction but I wasnt seducted 4. I felt egosyntonic attraction and I'm in denial 5. It was a fabricated sense of egosyntoncness, it wasn't genuine attraction but a fabrication, it was a "dare" from the brain, a self sabotage hence why I felt suicidal. I asked an expert and she simply told me that what happens inside the OCD Bubble belongs only to OCD and it has no value, it is not real. And while it's true its entirety happened as a compulsion, as a result of testing an obsessional fear and doubt, I don't know if the content of what happened inside is simply not real. Like when I had triggering POCD dreams. I don't know if it's the same thing when I was worrying abt me being attracted to my mother and I compulsively imagined my parent coming to my bed and felt like I could do it, that I wouldn't refuse, like literally felt like it not hypothetically, maybe because it was a twisted version of it? I don't know. I lost my sense of reality a while ago. Different scenarios too happened where I felt like I could say yes or I was tempted over doing something I find immoral, all of them were a direct consequence of a compulsion but I don't know still, seems too easy. I fear that the human brain is complex enough to allow both things to happen, that is neutral enough to allow a grey area that I cannot tolerate.
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