Giving yourself ultimatums

Does anyone else suffering with false memory ocd give yourself ultimatums? For example if I have a horrific intrusive thought I’ll try so hard to debunk it by trying to think of random facts like what colour top the person was wearing , I’ll say blue. Then I’ll look back on old pictures and if the person was in a top was blue I’ll just label myself as guilty? Does that even make any logical sense?! I’m literally just randomly guessing , how do I stop this😭

Username: Zahra991Zahra991

Date posted: 42w ago

I guess too much too, even worse I’ll start imagining what happened and make a billion scenarios and my brain sticks to it like it actually happened and then I feel bad and think I’m a bad person and lying to everyone and myself

Username: LillyXLillyX

Date posted: 42w ago

@Zahra991 Oh same here😭😭I feel you

Username: Zahra991Zahra991

Date posted: 42w ago

@LillyX Im also forgetful which makes it worse😭

Username: OdackelOdackel

Date posted: 42w ago

in ERP we were told "not to make stories up around the unknown" but learn to sit with the unpleasantness of not knowing. False memory and faulty human recollection are two different things. That's why psychologists and psychiatrists don't like the term "false memory" and you would be better served to avoid using these terms. False memory implies in a heightened anxious state your recollections are 100% accurate excluding the times you "falsely" remember through the lense of OCD. It is far better to refute the intrusive thoughts directly. Going the round about route has the nasty side effect of validation of your intrusive thoughts as real and legitimate not unreal and irrational expressions of fear and anxiety. Challenge the intrusive thoughts first. Ask if it's reasonable a, b,c happened or us it more reasonable it didn't happen and just the OCD seeking attention? 20years OCD and counting. Done everything but ECT and TMS.

Username: LillyXLillyX

Date posted: 42w ago

@Odackel This is very true. When I initially have an intrusive thought there are absolutely no details to it whatsoever, just a horrible image that I can’t seem to shake off. The image seems to bother me so much I have this urgency to find out if it could possibly be true, by doing that I start to think of ‘details’ adding in random facts and searching for them. The issue is sometimes I am correct about very basic things and then my ocd will use that against me saying it must be true then. My therapist has also told me to stop using the word false memory and just call it an intrusive thought as there is no memory to it. It’s just very hard.

Username: Zahra991Zahra991

Date posted: 42w ago

@LillyX It’s hard cuz the thought is disguised as a memory, ocd be too tricky

Username: OdackelOdackel

Date posted: 42w ago

@LillyX so the horribleness is the first clue whatever intrusive thoughts you have are plainly OCD constructs, then your OCD doesn't allow your brain to have these thoughts then discard them as it would, say: the thought of pushing someone into the path of cars or train though near everyone, probably 100% if honest would say admit yes they had that silly thought but it went the way of all silly thoughts down the refuse chute. For some reason OCD won't let us dispose these "junk thoughts" as junk. By adding facts to verify the authenticity of the intrusive thought, there is an extra layer of validity, reality and truth given to these otherwise "junk thoughts". So spending any extra time unravelling/validating/invalidating the "junk thoughts" gives credence where nome would be objectively given. Your big task is to label the intrusive thoughts aa jink thoughts, no matter how realistic you NEVER did these things and OCD is a bully trying to twist your arm on focusing on this unwanted usually straight down the trash-chute thought more time than it deserves. You have to fight the desire to investigate it because now it is novel and so shocking you consciously take note. Soon, OCD will get it to follow a pattern, then OCD has you now believing the OCD lies, and that's a place much harder to come back from without meds and psychiatric intervention.

Username: Wishingforpeace

Date posted: 4y ago

Does anyone else know they didn’t do something but than they can’t be certain they didn’t ? I have intrusive thoughts that make me terrified I have abused a child. One minute I’m positive I haven’t and the next I can’t be 100%. I end up going over a situation so much I add details that then become real to me and make me doubt myself more. For example, I just changed her diaper and now I’m terrified I did something I wasn’t suppose to even though I know I didn’t. But now I’m sitting here concerned I did. How do you cope with this?

Username: Clementine

Date posted: 2y ago

Compulsions

I keep finding myself almost automatically checking or trying to disprove my intrusive thoughts before I even get chance to agree or ignore them. Does anyone have an advice on this?

"Pure" OCD

Username: arg092000

Date posted: 1y ago

How do you know if it’s OCD vs. actual guilt?

I’ve been struggling with the intrusive thought that I cheated on my fiancé sometime in the past, even though there’s no evidence of it and it’s completely against my character and everything I stand for. I don’t remember having these thoughts until about 2 months ago. The thoughts were starting to feel so real that I even started doubting my therapist. I was like “how do you know I didn’t actually cheat on my fiancé and I’m not just sitting here lying to you?” Does anyone else struggle with this?😓

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Giving yourself ultimatums

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