The dreaded bag.

I can’t deal with this OCD bullshit anymore. It’s to the point where every time I walk out my house and come back in I have to sanitize my shoes then the floor where my shoes stepped. I even have my boyfriend doing this and he doesn’t have OCD. I can’t even enough life like I use to anymore I have constantly be cleaning and disinfecting. All these chemicals that have gotten on my skin I know that can’t be healthy. I’m scared the thought of even walking in with my shoes and not using disinfectant triggers me so badly that it ruins my whole day. This all happened when weeks ago I saw a skunk at night walking through the apartment complex I lived in. Then I took my dogs to the vet to get their vaccines. Even though there was no contact I still freak out about rabies. Then the vet assured me that everything was ok. Then I see this stray cat that walks around the apartment complex and he is always trying to come up to my apartment door or the walkway then I’ve seen him walk we’re the skunk area was so now I’m like what if this cat has rabies and I walk where it walks and track it in my house and get rabies. God forbid. It’s to the point where we have a shoe rack and we have to disinfect every time we walk in and out. The other day I had guest and when they left the whole entire house was mopped and I even had bathe my dogs too since they were walking around where everyone was stepping. I even threw away their dog bed and bought them new ones. Please help I can’t live like this anymore.

Hi everyone! I have severe contamination OCD, and the worst of it involves fears of my beloved 12 year old dog getting cancer later in my life due to my actions. I was recently exposed to secondhand and thirdhand smoke and as a result, I have avoided seeing my dog for over a week now. I have been struggling with this disease for a very long time and it has only gotten worse over time. I also have other contamination fears such as just being a gross human due contact with bodily fluids or not cleaning my body adequately. I feel that some fears are more anxiety provoking and worse than others. For example, I regularly take 2 hours showers. But with my fear of bodily fluids and being gross, I feel strong enough to begin ERP therapy. Because the worst case consequence is just me being gross and embarrassing myself, but nothing more severe. With my fear of my dog getting cancer due to direct or indirect exposure to harmful household products, situations, or environmental toxins, I have not been able to convince myself to start ERP therapy. This is because I know that it involves accepting uncertainty or the small possibility that my dog might indeed get cancer due to my actions, and I just can't bring myself to accept that without performing the compulsions that I think will help reduce the risk (e.g. cleaning my clothes, car, avoiding him, etc.). If someone truly loves their loved ones or pets, I don't understand how they are able to just put this fear and the very real risk of it happening aside. Even after doing ERP therapy and accepting potential exposure to harmful toxins/situations, it is not as though I will see that nothing bad has happened to him and find relief, because my fear of him getting cancer is a long-term consequence, something that will happen near the end of his life. I desperately need help but I feel that ERP therapy goes against my values, who I am as a person, and would mean that I'm intentionally ignoring the signs that my dog is in harm's way. It almost feels neglectful to me. I feel that I am bound to keep suffering the way I am. And therefore I feel stuck and paralyzed. Any help or advice that could frame the situation a different way or show me a different perspective would be much appreciated! I keep reading that for ERP therapy to be successful, one must believe in better outcomes as a result of it, but I am just not convinced. Thank you for reading! Much love to all of my fellow sufferers <3

Hi I'm new to this app and just wanted to communicate with someone struggling with simular things. My ocd has me feeling so stuck right now, like I just don't know what to do. It's caused me to stay home from school and quit my job due to panic attacks. I should probably specify I have contamination ocd and some other one idk what to call. Closest thing would probably be perfection ocd. A couple days ago I had a really bad panic attack once I got home from work where I cried and sat on the stairs for about 2 hours. I only got up when my mom forced me to, because everytime I tried I just felt like I couldn't move. It was mainly triggered by my job as I find it "dirty" and cant handle it anymore- I quit mt job that night. Then is also when I finally told my mom how I've been feeling because of it and now she's constantly worrying that I haven't hurt myself as I finally told her "I just want it to stop." I don't think I actually would but I can't help but to think what would happen and how I could go about it. I have a therapist I see monthly, but I find it really hard to tell her how bad it's effecting me because it's hard to talk about and Idk what kind of power she has but I don't want her to send me to the ward. Idk if that's even a thing anymore but I'm scared of it. I constantly feel like I have to clean everything and I just dont have the energy to do it. All I want to do is lay in bed. But these "dirty" things full my mind untill they're "clean" again. Not to mention the things I literally can't clean because of their material 🥲 I apologize for the awful organization, these are just my thoughts right now.