Hey, I’ve never dated before and I’m in my 20’s now and I’ve considered starting to use a dating app to start just talking to people but I’m scared. Scared of getting obsessive over the conversations, the people or if it’s the right decision to use it or not ? Any advice ? Thank you
I'm a bit aggressive in my approach to treat this type of ocd. I'd personally treat it as ERP and talk to other people and possibly get rejected a lot and not follow up with questioning why or wanting answers. Or if you want baby steps, just initiate first contact sometimes and let them get back to you. Leave them waiting sometimes. Try and rationalise if you feel anxious and remember there's an infinite amount of possibilities if they're not responding as quickly as you'd like. Don't be afraid to misinterprate what they're saying and just go with your best guess. If you get it wrong sometimes, that's ok
@Wolfram Thank you for the advice
I’ve mostly used dating apps to find people that I’ve dated. Definitely obsessive thoughts and compulsions can come up. With dating apps - trying to reframe all the uncertainty. I found journaling them out to be effective and something funny to look back on. You can always start and stop using dating apps at any time. Also if you feel comfortable with sitting down with a friend and swiping for a set amount of time and then go about your day until next day etc. I recommend not putting on notifications. Recommend a book - overthinking about you by Alison Raskin. She has OCD and writes some on this topic.
@Anonymous Thank you , I found this helpful and also thank you for the book recommendation. I’ll have to check it out 😊
hey there! it's totally understandable to feel scared about diving into the dating world, especially with the worry of becoming obsessive over conversations or decisions. it's a big step, but it's also a brave one to even consider taking it. 💪 by the way, have you heard about this new ai-powered ocd therapy tool called 'unstuck'? when i was in a similar situation, my nocd therapist recommended it to me, and it's been a game changer. it's free and could be super helpful for you because it offers personalized support for when those obsessive thoughts about conversations or making the right decisions start to creep in, much like an ocd therapist would. i know it sounds like i'm just promoting stuff, but i genuinely believe it can make a difference because it's changed my life. lmk if you have qs or just want to chat more! <3
Anyone with HOCD/ROCD have any tips about going on a date when the thought of it makes you want to die of anxiousness? I’ve been talking to this guy on tinder who seems nice and everything but every time in the past that I’ve started talking to someone and say yes to a date, I literally cancel the next day cause I’m so deathly afraid. This isn’t even necessarily ocd’s fault I’ve always just been scared to death of this kinda thing but obviously having hocd, and what I believe is pre-rocd thoughts, make it seem literally impossible. But I WANT it. I think about having a boyfriend all the time. Ocd is so detrimental to everything you want it’s so frustrating. Ik- news flash haha. Anyways. Should I go? Is this bad timing- will I make everything worse for myself? He’s really cute and seems really nice. Jeez idk idk idk.
Hey guys so I have HOCD and real event OCD and false memory OCD and this guy i know is interested in dating me and I want to date him too, but I'm really scared. I don't know if I can date someone ever again honestly 😕 I just feel too guilty and like I have to tell them everything ya know? Especially with real event. What do I do? I just feel like I'll never be able to date someone
I’ve never been in a relationship, not even held a hand let alone kiss anyone or be in a relationship with them. I’m a female in my 20’s and OCD sees relationships as ⛔️⚠️danger. the older I get the more scared I become and I don’t know if to take the leap of faith and learn along the way or work on the OCD around it first. Any advice or if you can relate please share thank you 💜🧠🙏 Context: ( I like a guy he likes me but he didn’t know do he was ready for a relationship, I didn’t want casual then we spoke again a while later and he said he could see a relationship in the future and I shut it down and explained it was because of my OCD but I still like the guy and I’m worried I’m going to lose this opportunity with him but at the same time I don’t want to rush into it and hurt him because he will be with me + OCD )
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