I’m really struggling the past few days constant awful intrusive thoughts from the second I wake up!! I know this is probs down to mostly ruminating but why does it feel like I’m thinking these vile things on purpose? Like I want them? Still trying to practise mindfulness but wow I feel very lost at the minute 😭😭
I relate to this and it’s exhausting and disturbing and makes you think you actually want these disgusting thoughts and I try anything to get them out my head but they’re just there
@ambermayx Stop trying to get them out of your head. Don’t struggle with them at all. Let the thoughts be there. OCD is quicksand.
@ambermayx It really is exhausting!!! I know people say just let them be and ignore them but it’s so much easier said done if I let them be and don’t try and stop them they would be even worse 😭 xx
@Liv24 Yeah it sucks. Don’t ignore the thoughts though. That is a form or resistance. Just let them be. Say “yea maybe” to anything OCD grabs onto. For example: if they are thoughts about acting on things… “maybe I will do that”. Are you religious, are you worried you’re sinning by thinking this stuff? Or just generally disgusted that they are in your head?
@OCDisQUICKSAND Yes I am and my intrusive thoughts as sexual and blasphemous thoughts against god and other holy figures so I feel like I can’t let them be because of how awful they are😭😭 and it makes me think I’m thinking them on purpose
@OCDisQUICKSAND It’s so hard but I do try this 😕
@Liv24 This it’s so hard xx
@Liv24 Yeah I had the same stuff when I was in high school. Especially around Mary. OCD wrecked my relationship with God. I just saw him as this punitive figure who was going to punish me for my thoughts. I’ve had a lot of different forms of OCD and this one is the hardest to just allow the thoughts to be there because the “stakes are so high” (says OCD). “Eternal damnation! Aaah!” If you just try and let the thoughts be, the very fact that you are allowing them in your head feels like a sin. It is not. God knows exactly what you are going through. He is a loving father who knows you have a brain disorder and there’s only one way to handle it. OCD is quicksand. Let’s say the thought of doing X to Jesus pops in your head. Just let it be there. Jesus DOESN’T care and knows you don’t want the thought in there. He’s rooting for you to get better. OCD may say “you actually do want to think this” or “you’re letting this thought in not as OCD treatment… you’re sinning” or whatever. Stand your ground and use maybe statements. “Okay maybe I am sinning, maybe I am going to hell”.
@OCDisQUICKSAND Talk to a therapist of course, but check out Mark DeJesus. He has so much good stuff on scrupulosity (which is the kind of OCD you have).
@OCDisQUICKSAND Thanks so much for all you advice it’s nice to know I’m not the only one!! I told my mum about it yesterday and felt weight lifted!! I’ve not told a soul untill then!! I feel disgusting like a fraud and all the prayers I’m saying it’s like I don’t actually care and I’m just trying to convince people I’m a good person😭😭 I get married I’m 4 months and I’m worried this going to ruin the day😭 like somtimes at church it’s like I get this feeling we’re I feel nothing (if that makes sense) like i feel like ‘why am I even here yoh don’t care’ then other times I cry all the way through mass because I so want to be close to God but I feel like OCD is making me feel like I don’t! X
@Liv24 Congrats, it’s going to be great! Of course OCD will try and ruin it, but I’ve actually noticed that even when OCD messes with holidays or vacations or whatever, I still walk away with great memories. My wife and I just took our kids to Disney and I had a really rough time at points but thinking back it was great and the kids had a blast.
@Liv24 Try not to force feelings. When you are in church and don’t feel connected with God, don’t sweat it. The more you try to force it the harder it will be to feel anything. It’s super common for OCD sufferers to worry about perceived lack of affection/love/feelings.
And have your mom watch some OCD videos. Make sure she isn’t reassuring you all the time. It’d actually be awesome if she just tells you “welp, maybe you’re going to hell” and give you a big hug.
@OCDisQUICKSAND Thanks so much! I find myself constantly repeating words similar to what my intrusive thoughts are in hope that I can stop it before it comes which doesn’t work obviously and just makes me more distressed because it brings on the thoughts more 😭 I’ll try what you’ve suggested thanks so much x
@Liv24 Good luck! And yea just assume the thoughts are coming. Don’t try to get ahead of them. Let them come when they want. Every time they come, remember it’s an opportunity to do an exposure which will help you heal. Let that thought sit as long as it wants. Do not struggle with it at all. Dont even remind yourself “I have ocd” which a lot of people recommend, but it’s a compulsion when you do it in response to intrusive thoughts. Sit in the anxiety and have that “Maybe I do want to think this” attitude. OCD is a bully and wants a rise out of you! You can message me anytime. I’ve had bad scrupulosity since 7th grade. I’m 36 now. I’ve thought it all. And the wedding is going to rule! Dr Grayson says if you have one arm, have the best one armed life you can. OCD is going to mess with the wedding but have the best one armed wedding you can! Hopefully that makes sense haha.
@OCDisQUICKSAND Oh and mindfulness is great for ocd but don’t use it as a compulsion!
Because you want to be sure you forget them but by forgetting them you remember them more. Just think that yiu don'tean them and that you trust God will be wise, ask for forgiveness quickly and move on even if the thoughts come back. I know it sounds easier said that done but you can also remember that Gos is all loving and will help you.
Hey yall, having a tough time. I’ve been struggling with intrusive thoughts while I self pleasure and it GENUIENLY feels like I enjoy them for whatever reason. And then now about half an hour later it’s like okay it’s a sexual thought but I might not actually like it. Idk I just really hate myself, because I basically genuinely liked it in the moment
I feel like the thoughts are telling me, "You want this, you want to be attracted to kids" when I know that's not the case. I've been stuck ruminating for the past couple of days and I'm so worried about this disorder convincing me that I'm something I've never been. I try not to fight it, but when I don't it feels like I'm giving into it like it's true. The meds I'm on keep me from being super depressed, but it's still there. I feel like I'm going to act on my thoughts one day and it worries me. I don't feel like myself anymore and I don't know if this is progress or a relapse. Even when having intercourse with my partner, I had to thought block because the thoughts were images while in the middle of it. Then afterwards, they came flooding in saying that I was doing it as a distraction. I don't know what else to do. I try to pinpoint all of my triggers, but sometimes I don't think I even have any. I feel like a monster. I'm honestly scared.
Any one else deal with this? Like from the moment they wake up to the second they fall asleep, the intrusive thoughts are there?
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
