Username: 7564236

Date posted: 40w ago

Please help me with coping mechanisms

I know with OCD the more you interact with your thoughts, the worse it gets. However, it is extremely difficult for me to just ignore the thoughts because if I just ignore them, I feel like a bad person for not making sure they won’t come true. Does that make sense. It’s like if I ruminate, I spiral and if I don’t ruminate, I have this lingering feeling of guilt and dread for having such terrible thoughts until I eventually give in ruminate for however long until I finally feel better which is mentally exhausting. Does anyone have any advice?

Username: mightyworriermightyworrier

Date posted: 40w ago

I know it's hard. I try to tell myself if I don't try and "solve" this problem right now, by tomorrow morning it will be gone. I always keep thinking about tomorrow. I have to put up with the horrible feeling until tomorrow and not try to solve it. The answer will come to me in the future, I won't be able to figure it out now even if I try.

Username: 75642367564236

Date posted: 40w ago

@mightyworrier Thank you so much for responding. How do you manage the feeling of “dread/guilt” or feeling like a bad person? I think that is really good advice and I’m going to try it. I just don’t want to live my life feeling guilty 24/7. I wish I just trusted myself in knowing that the thoughts are just my OCD but my mind is so good at making me overthink

Username: mightyworriermightyworrier

Date posted: 40w ago

@7564236 The guilt is the hardest part of it all. It helps me to know that my future self will look back on me now with compassion and not see a terrible person, but someone who was just suffering with intrusive thoughts and compulsions. We tend to look on ourselves through the eyes of others and seek their approval before our own as we have little confidence in our own judgement.

Username: 75642367564236

Date posted: 40w ago

@mightyworrier Thank you, I just read this while having a mini panic attack and it has helped me Pull out of it. That is some very wise advice.

Username: mightyworriermightyworrier

Date posted: 40w ago

@7564236 As someone who suffered with panic attacks I know how hard it can be to pull yourself out of one. I'm glad my words helped you. Another piece of advice you may want to hear is that OCD is an assumption based system. It likes to draw a conclusion like "you thought about X because you are Y". It does not listen to any alternative theories for why X happened, instead it assumes the worst case answer. Despite compelling evidence, logic, or anything in your favour, OCD wants to assume the worst of you always. I think I heard this originally on OCD Straight talk podcast and it stuck with me. I recommend it, it's helped me see things in different ways countless times (not an ad).

Username: 75642367564236

Date posted: 40w ago

@mightyworrier I will definitely be checking this out. I’m so thankful for people like you who take the time out of their day to write this stuff out to help others. You’re so appreciated

Username: djfloriodjflorio

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 40w ago

What has helped me is becoming more familiar with how thoughts work. A lot of this comes down to a crucial misunderstanding. We feel like we act in accordance to our thoughts. As in, we feel like we do things because our thoughts "told" us to do them, or influenced us in some way. But there have been numerous neuroscientific and psychological studies that have shown that we actually act in accordance to how we FEEL. In other words, the content of our thoughts really don't play any role in our actual actions. Thoughts are there to try to justify and explain our feelings and make sense of all of the information we are constantly processing. They are not evidence of any true desires, nor are they reliable predictors of our actions. As an example, consider all of the times you got something unhealthy for lunch because it's what you really FELT like eating, despite you envisioning yourself eating something healthy, and having thoughts like, "I'm going to eat a salad today." In that overly-simplified example, the thoughts and visions were clearly wrong and inaccurate predictions of what you actually wanted. This is happening ALL THE TIME, and we just don't notice it because most of the time the thoughts are so mundane and inconsequential that they don't bother us at all. Thinking about eating salads doesn't make you any more likely to eat them. You will get the salad when you genuinely FEEL like getting the salad, either because you actually crave the taste or, more likely, you FEEL that the long-term health benefits of the salad are worth more than the short-term pleasure of the unhealthy food. Whether you have OCD or not, thoughts are just thoughts. Whether they are about getting a healthy salad or about murdering someone, they will not "make" you do something that you don't truly want to do. Let them float on buy like leaves on a stream, and get more familiar with how you feel rather than what you're thinking. Hope some of this is helpful.

Username: 75642367564236

Date posted: 40w ago

@djflorio This comment is a game changer. Thank you SO much this is going to help me a whole bunch!

Username: WillyNileWillyNile

Date posted: 40w ago

i totally get where you're coming from. it's super tough feeling stuck between wanting to ignore those intrusive thoughts and feeling guilty if you don't engage with them. it's a really hard cycle to break, and you're not alone in this struggle. 😓 have you heard about "unstuck"? it's an ai-powered therapy tool specifically for ocd (unstuckmyOCD.com). it's been a game-changer for me this past month and might really help you too. someone here recommended it to me, and i just wish i'd known about it sooner!

Username: 75642367564236

Date posted: 40w ago

@WillyNile I just downloaded the app! Thank you very much for the input!

Username: PhillipFillip1PhillipFillip1

Date posted: 40w ago

Great suggestions!! I have also been using the unstuck app over the last few months and I have to say its been really helpful. The developers are very supportive and make new updates every week.

Username: WillyNileWillyNile

Date posted: 40w ago

@7564236 - Of course!<33

Username: Iamnotmythou...

Date posted: 21w ago

Need advice for Suicidal/Harm OCD obsessions

I am typing as I sit on the couch after a mental breakdown due to the frustration and fear I have with my Suicidal OCD intrusive thoughts. I know so much about why this is happening from therapy, research, and self help books that I feel like knowing this much about my condition is almost making it harder to recover. It’s like I feel like since I logically understand my problem, why can’t I change my response to it? I know logically that these thoughts are stuck in a loop because I have assigned meaning to them and am so scared of the concept of harming myself, yet ERP/CBT hasn’t yet helped much with my ability to tolerate the anxiety. I have moments where I feel good but the sense of impending doom and feeling like I “am bound to hurt myself” always comes back. At least for the last 2-3 months since this theme and OCD flare started. I don’t have any physical compulsions that me or my therapist have been able to identify except *maybe* researching too much. But other than that, my compulsions are all mental. However, I can’t pinpoint what exactly they are. It’s also important to note that I don’t avoid anything. I still use knives when I need to, I don’t hide them like others with this theme do. Yes they can trigger anxiety but I don’t actively avoid them or other items that trigger/have potential to harm me. When I do audio exposures (listening to my voice saying I am going to hurt myself), I hold a knife to my wrist to intensify the ERP, per my therapists request… and still the same or similar level of fear behind suicidal and harm OCD thoughts is there. Has anyone dealt with this and can help provide some insight as to what helped you? Anything is helpful here except negativity.

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 20w ago

(PLEASE READ) feeling helpless

*PLEASE READ* I’ve been struggling with bad harm intrusive thoughts for a couple years now. They’ll go away for a couple of months then get triggered by something and start all over again. As much as I try to tell myself that I would never act on these thoughts I have a memory from when I was little that I was going to hurt my parents in their sleep and that memory has haunted me till now. Of course I didn’t hurt them but I thought it and I feel so guilty about it today that it makes me sick to my stomach. I love my parents so much and would never want to hurt them or anybody. I just want these thoughts to go away because they don’t line up with my values of who I am. But every time I tell myself that my thoughts are not facts that memory pops up making me feel like an awful person. I feel right now as if I don’t deserve any love from anyone because of these thoughts. I’m a believer of God and I feel as if I don’t deserve his love as well and that he has given up on me. These thoughts have also turned into a new theme of being scared I’m actually crazy and going into a psychosis. I’m just so scared and just want to be normal. As much as I tell myself ocd lies to you these thoughts have really scared me and I haven’t felt like myself in days. I’ve also struggled with health anxiety and intrusive suicidal thoughts. I know seeking reassurance isn’t good but I’m so scared.

Username: babyoda

Date posted: 19w ago

Please reply, I need advice

Today was a really bad day. I finally went on this app and started reading so many of my experiences through other peoples’ eyes. It was validating and triggering, and I spent the rest of the day shaking in bed. My mind is full of, “you’re sick, you’re crazy, you’re a burden, you’re an inconvenience, you’re a bad person because you’ve done bad things, your boyfriend shouldn’t love you, he’s been manipulated by you to stay…” I know it’s OCD. I know that now. I’ve known for years but I really know now. I really just want any advice at all. I have images in my mind I could never say out loud. I have guilt and shame that I could never heal from. I didn’t know so much of my personality was a neurological malfunction. I have gotten better but today it feels like any progress I’ve experienced never existed. But I know it’s possible. Please help.

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