I caught chlamydia because I was stupid and had unprotected sex with 6 people in the last 6 months and people have made me feel like utter trash for this even tho I was the one who got checked out. I informed all six people. I went to the clinic and opened my legs. I hate condoms they make me sore no matter what type and they don't feel as good. But on future I will use them. I have a boyfriend now, after this is sorted and he's been sorted I will have unprotected sex with him hopefully forever. But never am I having casual partners again. My vagina is on fire, someone tell me your premiscuous sex stories because I feel like such a gross slapper even tho I wouldn't judge anyone else for making this mistake.

After being sexually assaulted I developed a fear of sex and as a protection my OCD became obsessed with STDs and I’ve been tested a million times for everything they will test me for (they strongly recommended against testing me for herpes because everyone has it in some form and if you’re not showing symptoms and using protection it is near impossible to pass on so it doesn’t matter until you want to settle down and there is a big stigma) I’ve always come back clean, even for the random shit I googled like mycoplasma that I begged to be to be tested for. I still freak out. And now since I am starting to believe I am ok I don’t want to have sex with someone else Incase they infect me (even though if we use condoms and they get the routine test for HIV, Hep, Syphillis, Gonnorhea , and Chlymidia) the odds are slim. What do I do!!! And I agonize over whether I should disclose I have HPV even though my gyno says no because everyone has it (literally the CDC says that) and it goes away on its own almost always and dude to the lack of education it would do more harm than good. I think I am just finding reasons to avoid intimacy at this point and my OCD is making me intensely fearful about my sexual health in a very painful way to distract me, and I can’t deal. I’d rather just confront my issues.

I went through a hoe phase when I was 18 and I’ve never been tested for hepatitis because I’m too scared to. In a way I feel like it’d be better not to get tested because most people don’t get tested for that so if I had it and knew it would just cause too much emotional harm for what it’s worth. Then another part of me is like WELL MOST PEOPLE DON’T GET TESTED FOR IT BECAUSE MOST PEOPLE ARE STUPID AND THE REASON THE DOCTORS DON’T INCLUDE IT IN AN STD PANEL IS BECAUSE MOST DOCTORS ARE STUPID, BE BETTER THAN THESE IDIOTS AND TEST FOR IT ALLLL, IT’S YOUR HEALTH YOU HAVE TO KNOWWWW!!!!!!! I also hooked up with an older woman right before I went celibate and now I have the EXACT same train of thought about getting tested for herpes again like’ “What is a 59 year old woman with a FAMILY doing hooking up with a 21 year old woman at a bar??? She must be trashy, you probably got something from her!!!! You just ruined your future sex life FOREVERRRR and the head was trash too, good going idiot!!! Now you’ll never be able to have sex with your future boyfriend or husband and IF you do you’ll always be valueless and replaceable and he’ll cheat on you!!!” Ok this whole confession is embarrassing AS SHIT and trashy as hell and I’m super embarrassed to be putting this here, I was young and dumb and a fucking idiot, I’m genuinely SO happy I’m celibate now

Question for men: would you care if your girlfriend tried a sugar baby site in the past? I tried it with a friend when I was in deep credit card debt and I got out of a bad relationship. I was in a self destructive mode. I ended up getting taken advantage of and not given anything and deleting my account after a month or so. I realized after that these men treat women like prostitutes and it’s not like dating at all. I guess when I was in a bad place and naive I believed such things. I now obsess that no one will love me and I have to confess my past. I was raised to be classy and not promiscuous so I get a lot of guilt over this time in my life from a. Few years ago. Nowadays I work full time during the week and part time as a cashier on the weekends to pay off my debt and I wish I always did it this honest way.