Struggling with religious OCD and feelings of unworthiness and fear.

Religious OCD

Hey guys so I’m new to this. I struggle really bad with religious ocd on top of other themes of ocd i have. But the religious ocd and POCD I have are definitely the hardest two. Today was so hard for me because I was freaking out all day about the eclipse and if it was the end of the world. I grew of in a very strict church and being gay was not acceptable so now I feel I’m morally wrong and unlovable in a sense. I don’t really know how to explain it. Wether it was from my youth pastor outing me on stage in front of all of my friends and hundreds of students, to them praying over me for years on end, before I finally left the church. Yet I still question if my salvation is safe or not. I question if God loves me etc. it gets so bad that I’m convinced everything I do is because I’m possessed by a demon. And I’ll start to vomit. Literally vomit. It sounds wild I know. Wether it’s music my ocd deems demonic or movies or spiritual things such as tarot cards that I enjoy. But my mind will convince me if I use them I will go to hell because that’s what I was taught for so long. I just wish I could get better but I don’t know how and I’m so hopeless.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 32w ago

Hi! I’m also in a gay relationship and struggle with ROCD and Religious OCD. I also grew up Christian and I’ve had the same questions. Now I struggle more with ROCD than religious. What has helped me the most is doing exposure with religious topics. I have found that I still want to be connected with God but without a religion, I’ve been following theologians, Bible scholars etc on Instagram and they explain what these condemning chapters actually mean. I think it’s good to study, but at the end of the day when the OCD hits remember you need to bring yourself back to the present time and notice the thought but don’t act on it.

Username: hvtwirler28hvtwirler28

Date posted: 32w ago

Hey so I suffered from severe religious ocd and it is now moving into relationship ocd and perfectionism ocd. But after taking a break for a couple of years from religion I've tried going to church again. It has been challenging but I feel like I'm genuinely starting to focus on what I believe not what my ocd wants me to believe. I like how you said you are trying to be connected with God without a religion. Which theologians and bible scholars do you follow also what is your advice on noticing the thought and not acting on it?

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 32w ago

@hvtwirler28 I follow @thebiblefornormalpeople, @peteenns, @jaredbyass, @maklelan

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 32w ago

@hvtwirler28 Also I think for me, when I notice that I have that feeling of wanting to analyze a question (it’s almost like addiction) I’ll tell myself “oh there’s that feeling again” and then notice my surroundings, my breathing, how my clothes feel, focus on current conversations etc

Username: hvtwirler28hvtwirler28

Date posted: 32w ago

@Anonymous You're right it can be addicting. I'm realizing there's some things we'll never know and that's okay. We're not supposed to be trying to calculate, ruminate, and analyze all of the answers. That it's actually very unhealthy to try and control something that's meant to be a release of control.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 18w ago

@Anonymous Read the Bible stop it the Bible is clear on homosexuality 1 Cor 6:9,10.

Username: Ben84Ben84

Date posted: 32w ago

Leaving that environment took courage. Now use that courage against OCD.

Username: hvtwirler28hvtwirler28

Date posted: 32w ago

Hey there. I suffered from severe religious OCD for an entire year and it was so bad. I totally understand your pain. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel! Are you in exposure and response therapy? It saved my life.

Username: Jolee0524Jolee0524

Date posted: 32w ago

Thank you all for your responses. I’ve been struggling with this type of ocd for years now and it’s not getting better at all. I feel like if anything it’s getting worse. I’m in EMDR therapy for trauma related to what happened in the church and with SA with my stepbrother for 6 or 7 years. I’m hopeful the erp will help that I start this month.

Username: Jo5790

Date posted: 2y ago

Religious OCD is making me feel really bad about

For years I was a very anxious person, I acquired anxiety since I was bullied at my school, since I was a child. A few years ago I realized that I was overdoing it with cleaning, I always wanted to wash my hands thinking that if I didn't, I would get some disease. After that time I started to attend my church, I became a very religious person, in this environment I went through some good things and some bad things, I've seen people point the finger at me for some things they liked to do. Then they kept saying that because of my behavior I could become a nun because I was a well behaved person, This stayed in my head and at the same time I felt guilty for not wanting this in my life, sometimes I was afraid that God would punish me. I am currently unable to attend my church as I used to for fear of judgment from people and also for fear of being in a serious sin and someone pointing the finger at me and starting to feel bad.The last time I had a crisis was when I heard from a priest that watching soap operas is a sin, I spent 5 days straight researching this on the internet and the more I couldn't find what I was looking for the more anxious I felt. I caught myself several times asking God to get rid of these thoughts.There was also a time in my life when I was terrified of speaking some blasphemy against the Holy Spirit and never being forgiven by God, The Bible makes it very clear that blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is an unpardonable sin.

Username: Cammy123

Date posted: 46w ago

Religious OCD, Doubt, Rejection Mindset

Hi everyone. I’ve been having religious OCD for the past 4 months now. I’ve always been a Christian but it wasn’t until this year I truly gave myself to the Lord. I was so on fire. Getting amazing signs and healing from Him. He really changed my heart and desires! I love them! But the last couple months this OCD hit hard with obsession over scary thoughts & feelings. I started having thoughts about God existence & Jesus. It hurt so much and I’m really trying everyday to move forward but recently I feel like I have a rejection mindset. Like beating myself up over these thoughts and feeling like Gods left me sometimes or I’m not worthy of His love or me having these thoughts of doubts & unbelief was the last straw. I’ve been so attacked lately with this OCD. It’s scaring me. Sometimes it feels like it’s coming from me. I felt like I woke up in total disbelief. I just woke up feeling so numb and questioning life. Doubting everything and I get OCD is a doubting disease but dang. I don’t want to doubt God & Jesus. I look back at my experiences and sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn’t. It makes me feel like God is mad at me or will leave me. I’m constantly checking myself, my feelings, my thoughts and even if I’ll “act on this thought”! Deep down I know it’s not true because God is love but does anyone have any advice on how to move forward with these thoughts of rejection? To have a better mindset of believing & receiving Gods Love, Grace and Promises.

Religion & Spirituality OCD

Username: Cammy123

Date posted: 30w ago

Religious OCD - Blasphemous Intrusive Thoughts

Hi everyone! My main theme in religious OCD is doubting God & Jesus! It hurts me heart I love them but I’m trying to remember His love and grace! Recently I’ve been having major blasphemous intrusive thoughts! I’ve had them before throughout my OCD journey but this time it’s kinda hard to let go and they’re coming so hard! They scare me! They can be very mean and just disgusting. Cursing, denying and just thoughts I hate! I ask for forgiveness and don’t always “feel” forgiven! I love Jesus & God! These thoughts hurt so much! Sometimes they make me feel like I want them or I’m saying them on purpose! I feel like I subconsciously “check” & ruminating on them. I know this is a normal and common OCD theme but it’s like sometimes I feel like I doubt my OCD! Especially whenever I have blasphemous intrusive thoughts! Like my brain just thinks “nope it’s you not OCD”. Like it doesn’t feel like OCD but Ik OCD can make it feel “very real”. It makes me feel like God is mad at me or upset! Or He doesn’t love me as much or just can’t be “forgiven” which I know is a lie and not true! I love God so much! Ik OCD attacks on hat we love it’s just my mind will doubt I have it! Please any tips to overcome these thoughts! I feel a lot of shame, guilt, fear, anxiety and sadness for having these thoughts! I know people say “they’re just thoughts” and not bad but they feel like that. Any advice?! Has anyone else gone through this?

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Struggling with religious OCD and feelings of unworthiness and fear.

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