First job panic

So after a period of long depression and OCD episodes, I finally got my first job as a barista. I’m ready to start tackling my fears, one by one! Or so I had hoped… Unfortunately my trainers are not great at training. It’s been two weeks and only just today have I started making drinks. But apparently I’m supposed to be doing everything already. The other trainee (who was trained on different days and therefore by a different person) is already making drinks and handling the register, and my trainer for today was gloating about her success when I arrived And then I show up, and the mood changes…. Cue the baffled expression, confused customers, and frustrated managers as I stumble around, not really knowing what I’m doing, BECAUSE NO ONE TAUGHT ME! I feel sick, and I’m terrified I’m going to be fired. My OCD flares up at work too because of the stress, and I sometimes mentally shut down. And bear this in mind, outside of training, there is only ONE BARISTA per shift. So once I’m done training, I’ll BE THERE ALONE. And I’m supposed to be done training soon! But I only know how to work the register. I feel awful, and my anxiety over this has caused my insomnia to return. So I’ve barely slept….. This is technically just a rant. I can’t complain at work because I don’t want to cause any tensions between me and my coworkers….It’s all too much.

Theosis

Date posted: 1y

Man that sucks. Is there anyone in management who could help u get a different trainer, or maybe they could change your schedule to the days the other trainer works?

Cinnamoroll

Date posted: 1y

@Theosis Unfortunately it doesn’t seem to be in my control, I don’t even have an official schedule yet I just get called in for work a day or two in advance. 😅 I’m hoping maybe I can ask to have a specific trainer who, although she is oddly rude to me, she is the best trainer I’ve had so far. 😅

angiew58

Date posted: 1y

I think we’ve all experienced this in some form or another. Just know that it is 100% not your fault; you were doing what you were taught! I definitely agree w the other commenters’ suggestion of getting your schedule changed. You shouldn’t have to take that trainer’s bs.

Cinnamoroll

Date posted: 1y

@angiew58 If it was in my control I would!!!! Hoping I can worm my way through this situation and get a better trainer... It’s been so scary thus far!!!! Appreciate the input!

angiew58

Date posted: 1y

@Cinnamoroll Good luck! :)

yessyess

Date posted: 1y

I have OCD and was a barista for 6 years. I remember comparing myself to someone who is now my friend who was trained the same time as me and thinking I wasn’t good enough. I also remember the nerve wrecking feeling of being the one barista. You’re not alone especially those thoughts and fears of getting fired. If you’re comfortable, ask for additional training there is a reason why they hired you. Even then? I hope you give yourself some credit! Getting a job after experiencing a long depression and OCD episode is a big deal and something to be proud of. I graduated college last year and was once social and thrived at a coffee shop but ever since my OCD relapse/episode back in December I’ve been scared of the world and people. I hope to someday soon be brave like you! You got this!!!!!

yessyess

Date posted: 1y

@yessyess Also, I used to tell customers “thank you for being patient with me, I’m new here” Those angry customers or people do not define who you are!

Wolfram

Date posted: 1y

I'd bring it up with the trainer and if nothing gets better, the manager. Screw the tension and look out for yourself. You don't deserve to be out in a position where you're doing that slone and not properly trained.

OCDParty

Date posted: 25w

Anxiety and work question

( First I appologize this is so long I feel really bad) I work at a daycare and I am new to my job. so am terrified of being mean or disciplining a kid or if someone snaps at me or is mean to me I can’t snap back or else in my mind I am a terrible person and I will not be able to forgive myself for the longest time. I am constantly asking people if I was accidentally mean without me realizing it. A long time ago I was manipulating and emotionally abused and other abuse happened to me and J struggled well before the abuse as well. The abuse made it worse, now I feel a lot of shame for feeling my emotions. I am a happy person with a lot of anxiety and depression if you met me J am super patient. At my job it was my first time running a room with 6 kids under 24 months. I LOVEDDD it sooo much! However kids started to bite each other and a couple of them were crying and there was one that kicked me I told them they couldn’t bite or kick which was super hard for me going again my thoughts but it was to protect them and even that is so hard on me! I can’t disapline a child without feeling unbelievable shame and guilt. From there they told me since the biting happened I will no longer be able to run my own room and I was very discouraged about myself and it spiraled into I am not a strong enough person and I am a bad person or I am going to turn into anbad person if I displine and I began hyperventilating and almost passed out. I know disaplining doesn’t mean being mean but my mind says I am an awful person if I do or if I don’t do something perfect at my job then it says I am terrible. I am worried I will be fired and this is my first real job. I have been beating myself up over it a lot. However I feel like I can’t change it without unbelievable anxiety coming with it. I love kids but I want to do what’s best it is so hard with anxiety thoughts I am not for sure what to do thank you!! I was wondering if anyone happen to have advice? I spiraled into I got the wrong job and I shouldn’t be working with kids even though I love it and one of my favorite things in the world! Thank you! 😊 Ehat do I do in this situation? Then I got into trouble for not being an adult and had very bad anxiety about that what all do I do? Thank you!!

Real Events OCD

wiki_xo

Date posted: 24w

A nurse with OCD

I just started my new job maybe a couple months ago and I’m officially off orientation. I had a couple shifts by myself but the anxiety I feel being alone is honestly beastly. I keep getting scared that I’ll end up giving my patients someone else’s medications, keep having thoughts of “what if I give patient A medications to patient C.” My hair keeps falling out, I get such bad pre work and post work anxiety. On my days off all I think about is work. It’s taking a toll on my mental health and my relationship with my boyfriend. I am mad and stressed all the time. I’m just so tired and I honestly feel like I’m getting depressed. I want to stick it out a couple more months so I can get a job somewhere that’s not in a hospital. I just feel so stuck and scared all the time. If anyone else is a nurse with OCD what did you do to help with your anxiety and OCD?

Young adults with OCD

Disko

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 23w

Struggling in a new job healthcare

It’s been a really long time since I’ve been here. I’m about to go back to school for nursing. But right now I’m working as a nursing assistant in the hospital. Idk if it’s my body adjusting to seeing new INTENSE things every day or shoving so much information into me at once with long 12 hour shifts. And when I’m at work and conscious it’s completely fine. But when I come home and sleep I wake up from bad dreams. Yesterday at work there were maybe 10 rapids (when you call an emergency for your patient, don’t always have a good ending) and I woke up this morning remembering my dream that I was in the hospital and my heart stopped and they had to call a rapid on me. Maybe it’s not even OCD??? And it’s just heavy heavy stuff that I’ve never seen before and it’s just my brain and body adjusting to life and things that can be really scary. It just feels a bit like when my OCD was bad and I’m scared I’m really in my head right now I don’t want it to get worse. Can anyone relate???

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