tw for harm ocd and s***idal thoughts

i have been having a really depressive couple of months and i am having an especially bad day. I have never really had suicidal thoughts until this spring, but they keep spreading like wildfire. I would never do such a thing or even plan out taking my own life. I am not one to give up that easy and there are so many things I love about my life and so many people who need me. There are so many things I have yet to live and I am excited to see!!! I think it may just be a really intense intrusive thought. It pops into my head really graphically and it immediately upsets me to a point of panic attack, because for just one moment it feels like the only path. Today it has been happening like every thirty minutes since i’ve been awake and I really just want it to stop. Is this normal for others?? How do you get it to calm down. [I think I am planning on calling a hotline tonight, i’m not going to tell them i’m actually thinking about it(because i’m not). I just really need someone to talk to. I just wish it could be someone who knows me but I don’t want to worry them. No one in my life really understands my OCD very well, they kind of just think it’s basic level cleanliness and obsessive thought OCD.]

Harm OCD

Username: RedknightRedknight

Date posted: 30w ago

Hey there! Honesty I’m actually in the same boat right now. I’ve called the hotline so many times now, I’m probably considered a regular lol What questions do you have about the hotline? Is there anything you need to vent or talk about? I’m down to just listen.

Username: 13vera13vera

Date posted: 30w ago

@Redknight thank you:) do you tell them you have intrusive thoughts about? if you do how do they respond to that? i just wanna make sure they’re not gonna report me to something since im not really a rush

Username: mseb10mseb10

Date posted: 30w ago

Im sorry youre going through this, I’ve definitely been in your shoes. A few months ago I was really having a hard time with suicidal intrusive thoughts and I did call a hotline a few times just to make myself feel better. It kind of helped, but I’m in a place now where I’m accepting the thoughts, as scary as they may be, and trying my best to not engage with them and just let them go. Since I’ve stopped actively engaging with these thoughts, I won’t lie they’ve gotten a lot more frequent and nagging almost, but I do my best to hold my ground and let the storm pass when it arrives. Best of luck my friend 🤍

Username: confused writerconfused writer

Date posted: 30w ago

Going through the same. I recommend on therapy if possible. Those thoughts can feel very very very real.

Username: 13vera13vera

Date posted: 30w ago

@confused writer thanks for your comment:) i really need to take action and get more into therapy

Username: confused writerconfused writer

Date posted: 30w ago

@13vera You can see the post I just posted. And welcome to ask anything. It’s a very hard theme

Username: RedknightRedknight

Date posted: 30w ago

The hotline can help with that. Honestly what they mostly do is just listen. Then, they talk a little bit with you and help you make a survival plan. Yknow, some coping skills or mental hacks that you can use to help you until you can some higher grade care

Username: GermanCowboyGermanCowboy

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 30w ago

Don’t count on the suicidal hotline too much. They don’t do much except try to talk you out of it and if they can’t they call the cops on you. You can then be involuntarily committed into a mental health hospital. Which happens more often than not. The last thing you want is to go to a mental health hospital, trust me.

Username: 13vera13vera

Date posted: 30w ago

*risk

Username: holytropical!

Date posted: 5y ago

(PLEASE HELP IM BEGGING!) Hey guys, right now I’m having suicidal OCD and it’s really fucking scaring me because I know I want to live but it’s feeling like I’m going to end my life any second or any day now and that I’m going to die soon, and I’m afraid that I’m going to come up with a plan and go through with it, or say fuck it, I don’t care about recovery, be selfish and just do it. I’m SO scared I don’t know what to do anymore, I don’t know if these are real suicidal thoughts or just my OCD attacking me and I’m genuinely scared for my life. It’s like every second of the day I get a stupid intrusive suicidal thought and it makes me feel like I’m really suicidal and that I don’t want to live anymore, for ANYTHING positive I hear, I twist it and make it negative and tell myself, you’re going to die soon, or you’re gonna kill yourself anyway, you don’t have a future, you don’t care anymore. I even feel a lil bit down and sad when I get these thoughts and I start to feel depersonalization, I almost feel depressed when I get these thoughts all day and it makes me feel like I’m genuinely gonna get depressed and the suicidal thoughts will become REAL I’m so scared. Even when my parents tell me that I’m going to be ok and not do anything, I tell myself in my mind that I’m still going to go through with suicide and just kill myself. I don’t have a set plan and I’m afraid that I may develop a plan and want to go through with it. IM SCARED FOR MY LIFE! IM SO FUCKING SCARED PLEASE HELP PLEASE! Anyone that has gone through this PLEASE HELP! Going into a hospital won’t help because I’m not ACTUALLY suicidal but these thoughts make me FEEL like I am and it’s just SO confusing I don’t know what’s real and what’s not!!! PLEASE HELP ANYONE!!!! I’m so fucking scared ??

Harm OCD

Username: Charcole

Date posted: 5y ago

Am I normal? I have thoughts about killing my friends, family, and strangers recently very often in a variety of ways and these intrusive thoughts are draining happiness from me.. I don't know this type of OCD but I'm certain it's a subset of OCD. I don't know what's happening to me. Someone please reach out to me. Its draining happiness from me every day. When I'm having a fun time with family one intrusive thought enters my mind out of the blue. It gets so bad and so violent that it physically made me sick. I'm not even kidding.

Username: sophie02

Date posted: 3y ago

if any responds to this, it would save my night. Just knowing there is someone there who understands. This past week my ocd has been worse than usually. My harm ocd is so terrible, violent thoughts and images fill my head and I can’t make it stop and the thoughts constantly are centered toward my family members. It’s so terrible I just feel like crying and I’m so heavy and empty inside. Does anyone else understand? Know what it’s like. All this fear and doubt. Are these my own thoughts? Why am I having these? Am I a psychopath? Do I want to do these things? And so on. I just want to scream. I’m so so scared and I feel sick to my stomach and I don’t want to be anywhere near my family right now. Help me please

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tw for harm ocd and s***idal thoughts

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