Feeling like I’m lying

So I’m getting treatment in person and today I had a phone call and it was basically asking questions to see if it is ocd.like an assessment. On the phone there was a lot of questions and I had to answer with numbers So for example she would say a statement “I excessively wash” and then I answer on how much I experience it : 1-not at all 2-a little 3-moderately 4-all the time But now I feel like I lied for some questions and just that I’m lying that I have ocd and using it as an excuse and that I’m just not bad enough. Like I’m scared I’m lying saying I experience some of the things. Like my head lately keeps saying that I’m putting it on and that I don’t have it or using it as an excuse I’m scared what if I don’t have it like right now it’s telling me I’m lying. I feel like I’m making it all up Because a lot of questions around ocd I never hear them talk or ask me about a lot of themes like Pocd Rocd So ocd So when I don’t experience things they ask about like symmetry , ordering or harming others it makes me feel like I don’t have ocd

sisterofthem...

Date posted: 1y

first of all i’m so so happy you’re finally receiving treatment :) i completely understand what you’re talking about here, i too feel like i’m lying constantly because it seems the only way people see OCD is through the physical compulsions & being excessively clean etc. even though we know ocd is more than that i feel the health system really over looks people with mental compulsions & as you said people who suffer with themes of POCD ROCD etc, which then invalidates us & then causes a spiral that our ocd feeds off because if thrives in uncertainty & fear. the health system around ocd i find is so triggering to people like us :(

ambermayx

Date posted: 1y

@iwantoremainanonymousfornow Yes like majority of the questions were just like about ordering and symmetry , contamination and harming others and I feel like most of my ocd is in my head so I’m just worried I don’t actually have it as I haven’t had a proper diagnosis. I’m just scared that there’s something wrong with me and that I’m actually a bad person because of thoughts I get

sisterofthem...

Date posted: 1y

@ambermayx i feel exactly the same, i follow a lot of people who have ocd on social media but one person in particular has really helped with my journey, she’s called on tik tok (audhdbaddiewithafatty) 😂 & on youtube (adhdbaddie). she’s a massive advocate for ocd, if you look at her more older posts she talks a lot about most of her ocd being in her head, she was the one who made me believe recovery was possible as she has “recovered” from ocd. she also promotes this app! just watch with caution as sometimes it made me develop new themes/obsessions but it’s very comforting to have someone who’s on a public platform talking about it so freely.

ambermayx

Date posted: 1y

@iwantoremainanonymousfornow I’m definitely gonna check her account, I try to follow accounts who talk about ocd on TikTok and social media too as its really comforting to know it’s not just me. Thankyou

sisterofthem...

Date posted: 1y

these tests really undermine what ocd is, it should include so much more. this is how so many people go undiagnosed for so long :(

ambermayx

Date posted: 1y

@iwantoremainanonymousfornow I agree I feel like they don’t talk about other themes of ocd enough. Like before I’ve tried to tell a professional about one of the thoughts I get and they made me feel weird and stupid.

sisterofthem...

Date posted: 1y

@ambermayx that’s horrible i’m so sorry, the mental health system is such a joke at the moment!

ambermayx

Date posted: 1y

@iwantoremainanonymousfornow Literally especially in the uk!

thesunwillco...

Date posted: 18w

diagnosis

i’m terrified to get a diagnosis. What if it’s not actually OCD??? I made a list of reasons why i think so and then i think what if im lying and i actually don’t do this stuff and am just dramatic and i just want to have OCD so then my thoughts are justified?? I have struggled in the past year with Pocd & Rocd and then also some bits of thinking im constantly in danger or being watched? I’m scared.

miagrace.

Date posted: 15w

therapist made my ocd worse

just been to therapy and i was explaining my contamination ocd and says i don’t diagnose ocd but this doesn’t seem severe enough? so now im spiralling am i just lying to myself and im just a freak. does she mean my other ocds aren’t real either? i’m just honestly so upset. need advice please im just spiralling so much i take medication for ocd and basically have every symptom and subtype of ocd:(

samlovesjesus

Date posted: 12w

kind of a rough day

i’m trying to not let the thoughts bother me but it’s just so stressful. even me typing that feels like i’m lying when i know i’m not. i’m scared because even my therapist tells me that it’s just ocd, but in the back of my mind i slightly don’t believe her, and its making me scared that i AM like those people and im gonna act on something. sometimes in social moments i get a quick thought of me being an outcast because im like those people who are sick in the head and act on that stuff, and it just makes me feel like i truly am gonna eventually act on something. another thing that bothered me is earlier my mom yelled at me for not doing school work (it was well deserved im really slacking on it) and i had like no reaction to her screaming. it had me thinking what if i have no empathy etc etc, and what if i get mad that she yelled at me and i do something involving those thoughts. how do i TRULY know it’s ocd? like i try to remind myself and be like “dude, your therapist said it’s ocd, she isn’t wrong” but the back of my mind is like “she is wrong, it’s not ocd and she just happened to misdiagnose you. you are gonna act on those thoughts and it’s your fate”. please someone respond if you read all of this, im really struggling

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Feeling like I’m lying

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