Psychogenic itch

So I’m 16 years old, currently going through my sophomore year of highschool. I’ve recently quit nicotine and weed after chronic use for about 4 years (has affected my development extremely). I quit because I wanted a better life for myself because I knew that I was using nicotine and weed for short term happiness and long term made me very depressed about this life. I was also experiencing trouble concentrating on simple tasks and what I wanted to do currently in my life. Which was learning about life and having more knowledge about life in general so i could feel more comfortable and happy in the future. So I quit nicotine I thought I was going to be able to overcome it and be more comfortable with myself knowing that I’m not in a constant loop of short term happiness, long term making me less happy overall. Although I have quit nicotine and haven’t touched it in about 3 weeks I expected to have some major withdrawals because I’m still in adolescence and used nicotine about everyday for 4 years. Sorry I’m rambling about this but through those years of always suppressing my anxiety with nicotine when anything came up that triggered it. I started noticing that on vacation in very stressful moments like at the airport and there were people around me when using the bathroom I felt as though it was nearly impossible to go but after sometime I eventually went and shrugged it off. Now that I’ve quit though I’m my 4th week it’s almost like my brain really latched onto that fear of not being able to go around people publicly (paruresis shy bladder syndrome) and that’s also what addiction does to you I’ve acknowledged. But when I started coming home from school I started thinking about not being able to pee more and more to the point i haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since which now every time i feel a slight trigger of having to use the bathroom i start obsessing over it like everything I would try and do that i usually do my brain would draw me away from it and go back to the fear of not being able to go which created a lot of anxiety and thoughts like “would if im not able to stop going” which made me think about it more and more I would just wake up with that thought in my head each day to the point where i was really thinking about killing my self because I thought i would have such a better life without nicotine and weed but ultimately made me feel like i was going crazy and I really wanted to go back to vaping and weed but i knew that this was the cycle of addiction and that i may have a more underlying problem here i need to overcome somatic ocd. I haven’t been diagnosed with it yet and I know a lot of people go through a cycle of self diagnosing. But as I’ve slowly started to mentally figure out ways to get through this obsession over peeing and fight it, it’s like my brain is now trying to look for a new bodily sensation to obsess over. My breathing. I noticed this as well while using that sometimes I would think about my breathing a little bit to much for example saying to myself am I breathing right should I breath this certain way would if I can’t stop thinking about it. But as I was thinking about that I just hit my vape talked to my brother about it and just slept it off. Now that I don’t have a vape I’ve had to go through these expierences but with it feeling more real and not really having something to run to, to suppress like my vape. I’m writing this today as I feel better to myself talking about it and opening up about it as I’m trying to not respond to this fear with anxiety and go throughout my days ignoring these obsessive thoughts leading to extreme anxiety that I don’t have anything to suppress it with anymore besides my own mental. Maybe someone here will have some more knowledge about it than I do and can give me some advice to try to keep me more motivated to deal with this ocd I feel as though I’m having so I don’t end up in a dark place. Thank you.

My ocd has been at an extreme all time high the past 2 weeks and I am in dire need of some relief. I’m not sleeping right anymore. for context: I live in the south and found a springtail on my sheets about 2 weeks ago. This was like 2 days before our bug guy came and sprayed (it’s a normal maintenance thing here) so it’s a common bug down here and I’ve found them all over different areas of the house before. Finding it in my bed sent me on a bit of a spiral bc I started to doubt if it even was a springtail and that i was wrong and that it was a bed bug, not trusting my brain. It was a bad, sleepless night and carried over continuing feelings. Typical ocd stuff. Well two days later, I’m a nurse and I had a patient that actually had bed bugs. This wasn’t the first day they were here and I did not see any myself but it still freaked me out. There had one 2 founds after visitors came the day before. Of course I wore PPE in the room (coveralls shoe covers and hair net) going in and took everything off before exiting the room. When I came home I stripped in my garage and bagged everything down to my shoes. Threw everything in the wash and did multiple cycles. There were no other steps I could take but I still had a terrible night. Hours of ruminating and going back and forth about tracing my tracks, thinking of new ways I could’ve taken one home with me. Just checking everything. I was already on a spiral from the springtail. Having two such back to back triggering events for me so closely related has made me deteriorate significantly. I was already doing bad with my normal OCD and starting therapy here. I obsess over the thought of having bedbugs constantly and haven’t been able to sleep. I am constantly checking my bed while in it and can’t settle down. My bed is heavy too and I keep hurting myself lifting my mattress to check. But I need to check. I’ve become obsessed. I check everything and go down Reddit rabbit holes looking for new things. And of course, I talk myself into it every time. I can’t take it anymore, it’s bleeding off into other parts of my life like friendship and marriage because I am so high anxiety right now. I need relief so bad. I’ve never felt this unstable to be honest. I feel like even someone without ocd would be really struggling with this topic, nevermind me, with ocd to a point where I just started treatment. These aren’t even my normal intrusive thoughts and compulsive acts. It’s just taken on a life in the last week and I can’t find any sign that it’s going to slow down. when I think rationally I know I did everything right to prevent but I can’t shake it. 💔

Ugh. So I’ve been having some stomach issues for about two or three months now. I started seeing a naturopathic doctor who ran some tests and put me on a restrictive diet. The stool test she gave me revealed that I have high levels of a pathogen called Aeromonas caviae. I was kind of relieved to find this out since it finally gave me some answers to my issue. That was about 3 weeks ago. Last Friday I got my food sensitivity results back which revealed that I have some mild problem with gluten, dairy, egg whites, and other random foods. They were all low-level igG sensitivities though. Again, I was kind of relieved to receive the results at first because it helped me better understand what might be going on with my stomach. I was good for about a day. I even had one of the foods that I’m “mildly sensitive” to and had no issues. I remember eating with my husband after getting the results and telling him that I was happy and that these results were “tolerable.” That was until I visited my mom on Saturday night. I decided to tell my mom about my food sensitivity results and she just had a reaction that kind of set me off for some reason. I’m not even entirely sure why it set me off because her reaction wasn’t overly dramatic or anything. She was more just shocked and made the comment “well what can you eat then?!” I immediately got super anxious after this. I started thinking maybe I wasn’t taking the results seriously enough and that I should be more concerned. I started doing research about food allergies and it’s all been downhill since then. That night I could hardly sleep. I kept waking up every couple of hours because I was just super anxious. The next day I cooked and ate a breakfast meal that I had the day before and was perfectly fine with. Except this time I noticed that the back of my hand started burning and itching a bit. I put some creme on and took a nap and by the time I woke up I felt better. Then again later in the evening my husband and I meal prepped for the week and ate dinner. After eating I noticed the same thing was happening but on the back of my foot. It went away after a while but I started going down the rabbit hole of “what ifs.” I started wondering if maybe I was having a mild allergic reaction to the food I ate. The next morning I ate the same breakfast and brought my meal prepped lunch. I was fine all day until I started driving home and had the itching again. I got home and was super worried. My ears and throat got a little itchy. I was going to eat dinner but I was too afraid that I was having an allergic reaction to my breakfast or lunch. Yesterday I ate the same breakfast with no issues and brought my lunch. While I was eating my lunch I noticed that my mouth was burning a bit. I did have jalapeños and a salsa in my food but the burning felt different than usual. I started to get super hot and my face was burning and getting a little flushed. I spiraled for much of the rest of the work day thinking I had an allergic reaction/I have a food allergy that I’m unaware of. I ate a snack when I got home and again, it felt like my mouth was burning a bit. Now I cant stop focusing on how my mouth feels and if it’s burning or not. I ate the same breakfast this morning and it felt like it was burning a bit but I cant tell what’s real and what’s psychosomatic.