- Date posted
- 1y
- Date posted
- 1y
Your correct it won’t end do it for your self wether or not the relationship ends or continues gotta get better now and yes i understand the details part. Me and my girlfriend would drink and I’d end up asking certain things hoping it wasn’t true and when it was it would send me in a downward spiral best thing that helps me it’s praying and forgiveness and understanding we all do stupid shit and things we wish never happened just keep fighting and looking for different perspectives and if you put in the work you’ll be a better person but I’m not completely over it either but I feel much better and am very hopeful so just keep pushing we got this ♥️
- Date posted
- 1y
My story is very embarrassing and full of shame. I’m in a long distance relationship. I ruminate on thoughts of my boyfriend’s ex fiancé whom he has no contact with - that she is prettier than me and better in bed. I know too many details about their relationship due to asking and wanting to know more information and I compare myself to her to see if I am better. The obsession got so bad that I foolishly ended up befriending her on social media, pretending to be a random person on the internet who liked her posts, then got into legal trouble for stalking. Despite what I did, my boyfriend forgave me and wants to continue to be with me. However, I continue to ruminate and compare. I am going on my 4th ERP session through NOCD, but don’t feel too hopeful. I’d rather just end the current relationship, but I know that is not the solution - no relationship is safe from RJOCD unless I treat it head on.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y
Hey! I struggle pretty bad with RJOCD with my current girlfriend. My friends told me she hooked up with a guy about 10 years older than her and it’s been super hard for me to not think about it and ask her about it. When I’m with her and I’m present she makes me so happy and there’s days I don’t care about the past at all. I feel your frustration though, it’s definitely hard. The gathering information and stalking on social media.
- Date posted
- 1y
@anonymous127278 Yeah I haven’t ask questions in a while but what I do know I’m stuck on like what did you do to them or how many times information that you shouldn’t know im struggling bad with that then I struggle with the fact that she told me
- Date posted
- 1y
Anyone here tried ERP for retroactive jealousy? If so how did you get on and did it damage your relationship or sexual desire in any way?
- Date posted
- 1y
@Anonymous https://drmichaeljgreenberg.com/
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 17w
I’m gonna try to make this make sense, and any support or advice would be great. I have a beautiful girlfriend, who I’ve been dating off and on for a year. We were really rocky but got our shit figured out 4 months ago and have been strong since. I truly love this girl more than I’ve loved anyone. And I know based off the sheer amount of ocd that has come up on our relationship, that she means a lot to me. Me and her were in a friend group in 2022 and we never liked each other. However she had a sexual relationship with one of my old friends. Fast forward to now I haven’t talked to him in a long time and I don’t see it as an issue. However… I keep having this vivid flashback to him touching her some kinda way in 2022. I can’t remember exactly what happened or the details but it’s running through my head. I guess this is retroactive jealousy but it’s really almost hurting my feelings. I wish it would stop but I know ocd doesn’t work that way. I just wanna be happy with my girl and not upset at her past experiences
- Date posted
- 11w
New member here. I realize this Retroactive Jealousy OCD topic is not thoroughly discussed and most therapists are unfamiliar with this OCD. This is perhaps the most painful form of OCD, and most people have no idea how or why people have these irrational obsessive thoughts. Here is my story in detail. Many of you might be able to relate. 12 years ago I was a 38 years old divorced man with 2 small children. I had been divorced for 4 years, during which time a had a few relationships and had sex regularly with the women I dated. One day I met a wonderful woman and fell in love with her. She was same age as me, and similar divorce and dating experiences. Everything was perfect in the beginning just like any new relationships. 2 months into the relationship I decided that we should disclose our body count and experiences (for transparency). I was only interested in the period after our divorce because we had both been with our ex spouse for over 15 years and stuff before that was borderline pre-adult stuff. Coincidentally 6-8 for both of us. Only difference is I had 2 serious relationships and she had none. She had 1 one-nighter with a friend and a “friends with benefits” situation with 1 other guy. The rest were short 1x and 2x experiences, just like me. Granted we were both in our mid 30s so this stuff shouldn’t shock anyone. For some reason I began fixating on that 1 nighter and friend with benefits. That 1-nighter happened a few months after her divorce and was with an old guy (54) from another country. I felt sickened and kept imagining their sex act. I asked her how it was and she said she was lonely and it was a bad choice. I kept obsessing over it. Maybe she liked older men? Next I started ruminating over her Friend with Benefits which went on for 2 years. They dated briefly but she said she was never in love. Neither wanted a relationship but happens to meet up a few times a year and ended up having sex. This friend was extremely threatened once he found out about me. I felt maybe her connection with him was stronger or maybe sex was so good she couldn’t avoid him. She said no. In fact she decided to end all contact with him and he freaked out. But I felt insecure and I felt extreme pain when I thought about her having sex with these people. I thought it was very unlike her to do that. She felt I was judging her. We had our first fight. I broke up with her. Same day I regretted my actions and clearly it was my issue. I begged her for her forgiveness. I started therapy to figure out what was wrong. Clearly Retroactive Jealousy OCD was relatively unknown 12 years ago. The psychiatrist considered it a form of OCD and treated it accordingly. With the combination medication and therapy I was able to conquer it in 8 months. We got married and next month we will celebrate our 11th year wedding anniversary. But the story is not over. In March of this year I suffered a nervous breakdown, mainly due to severe. personal and professional stress. All my OCDs came back literally overnight. So now I’m being treated again and it has been very difficult. This is work in progress. I’m not out of the woods yet. I am on serotonin and therapy 3x a week. Hopefully in due time, I’ll get better…again.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 7w
My therapy has really helped. But… I am still finding new ways to make myself feel horrible. It’s like there is a little part of my mind that is afraid to let go. I ask myself why this is and I am still looking for the answer. I fear that this is just my burden in life. I wish my wife had saved herself for me. Now I just worry and compare myself to ghosts. It’s pathetic and frustrating. It is soul crushing because I let it be. I wish I could crush it instead. I’m sorry if this is discouraging, I just needed to vent.
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