Someone please respond I could use your guidance

So I’ve been doing really REALLY WELL with pocd. I’ve been going places, to the beach, seeing kids in swimsuits and stuff really extreme things for people with ocd. And I’ve managed to do super well, sure something would pop up but I’d ignore it. So I’ve been doing super well ignoring it. Little minor flare ups here and there but yesterday my brain could not bare it. I somehow found myself in Steven seagulls Instagram where he visited a tribe in Venezuela and he had a picture of kids and the first time I saw it I didn’t really make a big deal of it but my brain kept having me go back to “test” of I can do this forever without something popping up. Eventually my brain attached to what I think is a little girl in the front but she was not wearing a shirt and I noticed it and I said “nah that’s a little boy” and obviously “but what if it’s a girl” so I checked again and sure enough it was a girl and you can see where I guess you can see where she’s starting to form up there just a tad and that did not sit with me. So next thing you know I’m compulsing by going back and looking at the picture multiple times so I did that but that made it worse cause at some point a part of me felt like I wanted to see it, like false attraction. And I’ve had moments like that before and was able to get around it but is it hard this time. And this whole night it’s been on my mind even when I’m sleeping, I just feel like a criminal, I feel like this ped****** 😞. I was doing so well these past few weeks and now I feel like all that hard work just went down the drain.

katieR94

Date posted: 1y

Deep breaths. Let the anxiety come, let the thoughts come and just float. It will help! You are safe and they are safe. It’s a difficult ocd subtype as I suffer myself, you’re doing nothing wrong. Your body will react to stimuli no matter what. It is no reflection on you. It’s very specific because you’re concentrating so hard on it. I promise you you can do this. You’re a good person and you can get through it

Jher55

Date posted: 1y

@katieR94 Thanks, I definitely can do this! I feel better now that I didn’t let it latch on to me but it still lingers in the back “remember this” type of linger. The thing that gets me is that they are tribes so this girl wasn’t wearing anything to cover her too and that’s what got me when I realized and then the rest of what I said in the post came after. That’s what bothered me and I hated it. I’m doing better now but I just wish these little things that occurred like that when you really don’t expect to see something like that happens and catches you off guard and now your in this mode of will I compulse or will I ignore. That’s where I have a hard time. If that makes any sense.

Jher55

Date posted: 1y

@katieR94 Thanks for replying. I felt heard. And that means a lot!

Anonymousssssss

Date posted: 23w

Can somebody plz fking help me

Ive dealt with pocd for a very long time now and it gets more real as time goes on. I was watching a movie and I’ve read the books so I knew there was a kiss scene coming up.The actors and their characters are children but I was basically looking forward to the scene. Then as they were kissing, it looked kind of weird and mechanical because again the actor was technically still a child. And I let myself indulge and enjoy it, of how someone young was doing something sexual and adult like. Idk I feel like a fuckikg creep but I don’t WANT this. There was nothing intrusive about this, it’s just something creepy that I’ve done. I keep ruminating about it but still. I don’t identify myself by this mistake but it still sucks. My mind then went to children that I know, one girl and one boy, and them separately doing sexual things for the first time and navigating that and it feels like I like it but I don’t. It’s not as real as the movie scene because the fact I enjoyed the scene WAS real but it’s still stressing me out.

RadiantlyRed...

Date posted: 22w

POCD 😭

TW Just saw a judge video where a girl was complaining about a mom suing her for money when her mom is her agent and gives her younger sister (at 17 years old) better work because they exploit her body and THEY SHOWED PICTURES. I saw it and was like “oh my gosh is that actually what I think it is?” Then after realizing it’s like I was too shocked to look away. What is bothersome is that I wasn’t immediately repulsed enough to turn it off and didn’t immediately do so and when the picture kept showing up it’s like I kept looking at it to make sure what I saw was actually what I saw. Also, the false memory is hitting hard because now I’m wondering if I had intrusive thoughts judging her body. Now I feel like a perv and pedo 😭 It’s like I’m anxious over not being anxious enough about the situation while actually being incredibly anxious. I don’t if that made ANY sense but someone please help. I will say my mind was already incredibly vulnerable because of burnout and other very stressful events recently. Still, I feel terrible and feel I deserve to be in jail.

hopefulxmess

Date posted: 22w

Pls has anyone been through this?

Let me start by prefacing that I developed ocd as postpartum ocd after having my first child. I had harm and pocd. I had it on and off for years and then it just eventually went away completely for many years until recently after a stressful life event. Now that it’s back it again targets my children but now my grandchildren also. It’s been horrible and makes me pull away from them. Last night my 6 year old granddaughter threw up in the car when my daughter was about to take her home so my daughter brought her back in the house and asked me to clean her up while she cleaned her car. I had some anxiety about it because of my ocd but I couldn’t say no to helping so I opened the bathroom door and my granddaughter was standing in her underwear waiting for me to clean and dress her. Everything was fine and normal but then for some reason, I have no idea why, I looked down at her chest area. I immediately got so upset and didn’t know why I looked there and now my ocd is saying it’s because i’m a monster. I tried to tell myself it’s just normal human behavior when someone is standing there naked that you look where you shouldn’t simply because it’s just there in front of you but I feel horrible. I don’t feel any inappropriate way about her or any child but my ocd is saying it was inappropriate. Has anyone else been through this?

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Someone please respond I could use your guidance

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community