praying

Does anyone else get intrusive thoughts while praying or thinking of God? It has been stressing me out so bad. I feel like I’m a bad Christian or somethings wrong with me cause sometimes I get flooded with intrusive thoughts when I try to focus my time on God.

Sometimes I have thoughts that I would normally assume to be ocd, not sound like ocd. I start to think/feel that it's God telling me to do these things?? I then end up feeling guilty for not immediately implementing these things into my life. I hate that so much of what used to feel like ocd seems unclear. I don't feel like a good person. I know a lot of sermons aren't made with ocd in mind, but I feel like I'm not listening to God if I don't listen to thoughts I would've thought were ocd before

I watched a podcast about ocd and values, and i learned there how ocd attack your values... i said here alot of times that its hard for me to understand what to do cause ocd makes it so confusing. Like for an exemple today i didnt do much for streghtening my relationship with God, so next time i should do something to not lose this connection, and all of the sudden my ocd made it like "i have to pray or listen something christian related cause if i dont do i lose the relationship" so it became something I "must" do. So before i saw this like maybe im just wanting this relationship because of ocd, because im afraid, and then i felt wrong that for erp i have to stop trying to connect with God, so i stopped doing what i wanted to do and I felt really bad... But after i learned this from that podcast now I see that ocd is even more confusing. It can make you feel like the things you want to do you do it cause of ocd...