How to deal with SO OCD flare up?

My intrusive thoughts with my SO OCD have been flaring up horribly for the past couple weeks, I think due to stress. Today has been especially bad. I’ve been experiencing false attractions with every woman I’ve been seeing today and it’s making me feel so gross that I feel anxious and sick to my stomach and that I’m going to cry. I cannot shake all the feelings in the body that make it FEEL like I’m « attracted » to them even though I know deep down it’s all fake!! I don’t know if I’m dealing with it right. I’m trying my best to just ignore the thought but the minute it stops, my ocd convinces me that I am in denial because I was able to stop and then I can’t stop thinking about that this confirms im in denial and I freak out and the process starts all over again. I don’t know if I should respond to the thought or ignore it or if what I’m doing is denial or really SO OCD. I have been ruminating on it so much the past couple weeks and it’s starting to take a turn to where I don’t remember anything except my intrusive thoughts and feelings and I am having a hard time getting things done at work and showing up to things and being fully present. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong and I just want it to stop. If i was bi or gay or whatever, that’s fine!! I don’t care. But the thought of being with a woman when the fake attraction I feels makes me want to vomit makes me feel dread at the idea of dating a woman. Im currently dating a wonderful man who is a great fit for me and makes me incredibly happy. It feels like if im in denial and my intrusive thoughts are right, i will have to break up with him and that thought alone destroys me. I could go on about how I have only liked, loved and been attracted to men my entire life and have never wanted to be with a woman in any other way besides a friend but I feel like that will just make my anxiety worse. I have been dealing with SO OCD on and off since puberty but it got incredibly more severe the past couple years. Does anyone have any constructive advice about how to deal with the rumination? Should I ignore it? Should I sit with it and accept the fact that it might be true? Anything would help thank you!!

Username: AmandaB345AmandaB345

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 33w ago

Like the others have said show the ocd that you aren’t scared of it. My ocd tries to tell me that I want to be with a woman and I had a mini flare up where it really pushed that on me and I almost had a mental breakdown. The thoughts just makes me feel not myself and I’ll. Too me it would be gross ( no hate to anyone in the lgbt community). So I typically just show the ocd that I’m not scared that it doesn’t bother me and it will calm down eventually. My mom told me this why would I cry over something if that was who I was. It has helped if I was bi or gay I wouldn’t be crying or having a mental breakdown. I’ve said it many times if I was attracted to women I would just say it and own it but it doesn’t fit well with me and doesn’t feel right and I don’t feel comfortable.

Username: rwhit15rwhit15

Date posted: 33w ago

@AmandaB345 Thank you for the comment I really appreciate it!

Username: AmandaB345AmandaB345

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 33w ago

@rwhit15 Of course!! I’m glad I could of helped

Username: JomitzyJomitzy

Date posted: 33w ago

I know what you mean. The idea of being with a woman doesn't make me want to vomit. And I'm not gonna lie and say women aren't attractive too. But I'm not interested in wanting to be with women in that way or in relationships, only friends, it's always been guys. The fake attraction stops me from feeling like I used to about guys and so I'm then questioning myself all the time now. Advice wise I'm not the best but I keep being told you shouldn't ignore it but don't respond to it either, just let it run regardless of how odd it makes you feel, even when you relax with it. I'm still battling with that but it's a tough road.

Username: rwhit15rwhit15

Date posted: 33w ago

@Jomitzy It’s a very tough road, thank you for the comment!

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 33w ago

I don’t have advice on how to deal with the rumination. I feel like thats the hardest part (trying to find meaning to the thoughts), but I understand what you’re going through. I’m currently in therapy for it and yes, basically you have to sit with the uncertainty. It’s easier said than done but you have to allow your thoughts to be there without giving them meaning and slowly the anxiety will start to lower over time. I’ve been working with a therapist on exposures and I’m having less and less anxiety when I confront it! I definitely think ERP helped, not sure how you feel about that but know you’re not alone!

Username: rwhit15rwhit15

Date posted: 33w ago

@Anonymous Thank you for the comment I really appreciate it!

Username: samuel676samuel676

Date posted: 33w ago

With this intrusive thoughts they u must let it be does this mean u agree or like thoughts or is it ur OCD telling u that it's right u agree or like this thoughts

Username: samuel676samuel676

Date posted: 33w ago

Advice please

Username: cf05

Date posted: 2y ago

Has anyone else with SOOCD found themselves mentally reviewing literally every interaction they’ve ever had with the sex that their OCD is telling them they are attracted to rather than the want they want and know themselves to be attracted to?? I am a straight female and ever since my OCD flared up about two months ago I have spent every minute of every day ruminating over past experiences and my mind has convinced me that I was attracted to virtually every female figure in my life, even though I have never actually acted on any of these presumptions. Likewise, my brain is pushing away all of the actual memories I have of being in love with past boyfriends and having crushes on guys. Now, when I see a girl anywhere I freak out and automatically assume I’m attracted to them, even though the thought of being gay makes me sick to my stomach and is never something that I want to act on. And also, when I see any guy that I find attractive, I will acknowledge that I find them attractive but it’s like my mind is telling me I’m faking it because I must actually like women. These thoughts are so incredibly painful because I feel like my attraction to men is fading away even though I only ever want to be with men in the future. I feel like I’m numb to everything and it’s making the anxiety soso much worse. Anyone who can relate or provide any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Username: OCDwho?

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

Hi! Anyone dealing with SO OCD and have a partner? I am having the hardest time with this. The thoughts and feelings feel so real and scary but there’s moments where I have felt love and attraction for my boyfriend, but right now it feels so hard to believe that was true.

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

Why does SO-OCD feel so real?

It all started two months ago when I was making scenarios in my head to fall asleep.. i was imagining myself kissing a man and then it turned into a woman. The moment that happened, I opened my eyes and panicked.. it was complete panic, i started sweating, crying and I couldn’t function anymore. I started asking myself “am i gay”, “i have to come out to my boyfriend”, “i have to come out to everyone”, it was all within the span of 10 minutes… soooo overwhelming!! My mind acted as if I was gay, I lost my sense of identity, I couldn’t even trust myself anymore even when I reassured myself. It was such an awful cycle, to look at any person, a man to make sure i was straight, and a woman to make sure I wasn’t gay… i feel ashamed saying this. If i looked at a woman a certain way, like oh she’s pretty, my mind would say yes u see ur gay. After two months, I imagine any interest with a female stranger as a confirmation of being gay, I’m so nervous all the time, i start sweating and checking for groinal responses (the worst is when the response happens).. i cant afford a session with a therapist now, and i keep saying that i dont have OCD, im in denial, and that one day ill be gay. Can someone offer some insight on wether this sounds like OCD?

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