Explore more posts

Username: bootsforcats

Date posted: 29w ago

Lightbulb with text that reads "Auto-generated title"

Do other queer individuals experience sexuality OCD and intrusive thoughts?

s-ocd as a lesbian

does anyone here also struggle with sexuality ocd as a queer individual? i’ve mostly seen people talk about it from a heterosexual perspective but i haven’t seen or heard much from those who identify as queer or lgbtq and such. i’ve struggled with comphet (compulsive heterosexuality) since i was a kid however have always been confident from a young age that my attraction and desire in romantic relationships is exclusive to women even after trying to like & date men. though, recently, i’ve been having so many intrusive thoughts about the men i’ve interacted with. i am okay with male friendships however the thought of being with a man repulses me and makes me nauseous. i keep going back and forth in my head to “check” how i feel by forcing myself to think about situations that include men. it is becoming incredibly exhausting and i wish it would just go away. i just want to know i’m not alone

Username: lolplzhelp lolplzhelp

Date posted: 29w ago

hey!!! i’m straight with so-ocd but i know personally a queer girl who really struggled with this, so it definitely is very real!! so-ocd is more a fear of being something you don’t identify with or a fear of being wrong about your life than it is about sexuality (as someone who got past so-ocd and is having a flare up) you are equally as valid!! stay strong - you’ve got this!!

Username: bootsforcatsbootsforcats

Date posted: 29w ago

@lolplzhelp thank you so much it means a lot to hear this it helps a lot to know that there are people who have gone through this regardless of the person’s sexuality! right back at ya

Username: girlanongirlanon

Date posted: 29w ago

I've gone both ways! Growing up I had no idea I was anything other than straight, I didn't realize I was bi until my 20s. And now OCD goes both ways, basically whoever I have a crush on, my ocd convinces me I only like the opposite. Because of all that comp het and ocd I have such a hard time decentering men, and also get so anxious when I talk to people who have known forever, because I still doubt it even today! I had a big panic on a date once when she told me she's known since 8th grade. It's so hard, you've got this! We've all got this!

Username: ughhhhughhhh

Date posted: 29w ago

Dude I’m so glad someone like me has spoken out about this. I’m also a lesbian that has this same type of s-ocd and I was afraid that no one else on here has the same feelings. I also think about my friendships with male friends and look at men and I ask myself if I think they’re attractive but whenever I think about doing anything romantic with a man like holding hands, hugging, even matching pfps I feel nasty and disgusted. It doesn’t help when I’m more a feminine lesbian as well. I’m glad I’m not alone in this thank you for sharing

Username: bootsforcatsbootsforcats

Date posted: 29w ago

@ughhhh thank you for sharing as well! i’m a feminine lesbian myself, i think a lot of it has to do with societal expectations and standards that present as the “norm”. i was on a reddit deep dive a few days ago and somebody mentioned that it’s common for lgbtq+ with ocd to experience these kinds intrusive thoughts due to this

Username: ocdhaver_123ocdhaver_123

Date posted: 29w ago

I have seen tons of people who identify as queer or gay who have the same sort of feelings! It is equally distressing no matter how we identify. I personally identify as straight, but I also go back and forth by thinking about scenarios with women and then “checking” how I feel. It is so scary because we feel as if we might be “forced” to live a life that is unauthentic to us! You are absolutely not alone in this! It is so interesting how OCD manifests in the same way, but tailors the experience to our own personalities and preferences.

Username: 13vera13vera

Date posted: 28w ago

i feel the exact same way. i’ve run my head into the ground thinking in circles about it and it’s so tiring. i’ve resorted to trying not to label myself because even though deep down i know i am queer i always have thoughts of “what if im just lying:/“

Username: NeytiriNeytiri

Date posted: 25w ago

Could we talk? Could u explain me what is the difference between comphet and ocd?

Username: bootsforcatsbootsforcats

Date posted: 24w ago

@Neytiri of course!

Username: NeytiriNeytiri

Date posted: 23w ago

@bootsforcats Do u have discord?

Username: bootsforcatsbootsforcats

Date posted: 23w ago

@Neytiri yes! it’s julilovescaterpillar

Username: NeytiriNeytiri

Date posted: 21w ago

@bootsforcats I am neytiri0932. I sent u a request

Username: Mitu_001Mitu_001

Date posted: 24w ago

I struggle with this too ! Idk if I am bi or lesbian because of this. I cant see myself having a life with a man . But also I feel curios . Idk

Username: OCDeezeNuts

Date posted: 1y ago

Bisexual OCD?

I feel so many discussions of SO-OCD revolve around (mostly) straight identifying people fearing they are gay, or the reverse. But has anyone who identifies as bisexual or queer experienced SO-OCD? I am a woman married to a man, and while my sexual orientation has been reasonably fluid since I was in my teens, I have consistently felt a preference for men, and never felt the need to put a label on my identity (including straight) - and I’ve never hidden the fact that I’ve had flings with women. About three years ago I had the “brain broke” moment where I suddenly out of nowhere thought: “I am bisexual, I have been masquerading as straight since I’m married to a man, and I have to come out to everyone I know.” It was all I could think about. The fact that I felt shame accompanying it made me fear that I might be using the term bisexual to cover up the fact that I was actually gay. It particularly messes with my head because OCD is characterised as “unwanted” thoughts, but actually I am occasionally attracted to people of other genders, so these thoughts are not always unwanted. Which makes me wonder whether I am just in denial, and I don’t have OCD at all? And thus the cycle continues… Would just love to hear from anyone else if they relate to this!

Username: mariamaria

Date posted: 29w ago

Sexual Orientation OCD

Hi! I am genuinely so happy and attracted to my boyfriend but cannot stop having extreme anxiety trying to figure out my sexuality. Some days I think I am sexually attracted to women and other days I don’t feel this way. How can I accept the uncertainty? Another part of this OCD is I obsess over what the queer community will think of me since I have limited experiences with women. I am so happy with my partner but the OCD is keeping me in fear of missing out. I keep constantly comparing myself to others and getting down that they have had more sexual partners. Seeing if I’m alone in this.

Username: stxrmads

Date posted: 22w ago

soocd or comp het/denial

Please someone leave any advice or similar stories. I had identified as bi and then had fears about my sexuality a few years ago, and decided on the term unlabeled to describe my sexuality to anyone who asked and it made me the most comfortable because i was confused about my romantic atraction and sexual attraction towards women vs men. Recently, seemingly triggered by pride month and people discussing comp het, while in a relationship with my boyfriend I have been dealing with fears of wondering if I'm really attracted to men at all or what attraction really feels like and being sexually aroused by explicit images of women I had seen by accident. I am worried that I am experiencing comp het or I'm in the wrong relationship or I'm going to hurt my boyfriend. I have also voiced all of this to him and he is there for me, but that doesn't mean it's easy. I have other anxieties about my relationship and worry if those are ocd related or not as well(such as worrying about limerence) but I'm just so terrified. I feel that just because I have ocd that doesn't mean I can have these experiences that other queer people actually have and it makes me worried that I coukd go years without ever knowing just for one day to know and my whole world to be flipped upside down. I'd rather die than for that to be my reality. Someone please leave advice or tips it's all so appreciated.

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Do other queer individuals experience sexuality OCD and intrusive thoughts?

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community