Username: Anonymous_confessions

Date posted: 32w ago

ROCD

I keep thinking about every little thing my bf does or says, I keep thinking he sounds and talks weirdly, and I keep thinking he does weird things or that he’s not tough or masculine enough and whenever I see an attractive man I stay playing scenarios in my head where the attractive man has the same “flaws” my bf does to see how I would feel if another man did it, like I’m trying to make the “flaws” feel normal and ok. And whenever I’m on the phone with my bf he’ll say something in a way that seems “weird” to me and I can’t stop thinking about it and playing it over trying to recreate the inflection and tone in my head so I can see if his inflections and tones sound normal enough or manly enough or if his idiosyncrasies are odd or abnormal or unattractive. But what’s worse is now I’m not feeling the overwhelming waves of panic that I used to have when I had these thoughts. Now they’re just thoughts, but I still feel bothered by them because they focus on “flaws” that bug me. I don’t know what to do. I worry that it’s not OCD anymore. I’m not currently diagnosed either which doesn’t help. I feel like a liar, like I’m busting using ROCD as an excuse to avoid the truth.

Username: LangwidereLangwidere

Date posted: 32w ago

I understand what you’re going through. I’m struggling with the same thing. Those stabbing fears are no longer happening but the thoughts are. I think it’s a sign that you’re making progress. Intrusive thoughts are easier to cope with when we aren’t feeling complete terror.

Username: Anonymous_confessions Anonymous_co...

Date posted: 32w ago

@Langwidere That’s true, I really do hope it’s progress. I remember going through similar experiences with past themes, I just hope the thoughts go away too, because it feels like the terror and panic was the only thing making me think it was OCD, and now that it’s gone, but I’m still focusing on the flaws, it makes me think that I won’t get over the flaws and I’ll need to leave.

Username: LangwidereLangwidere

Date posted: 32w ago

@Anonymous_confessions I understand. Thoughts are difficult but they’re just thoughts. I recommend Sheva Rajaee’s book. She covers a ton of stuff. Plus everyone has flaws and we can embrace those too

Username: Anonymous_confessions Anonymous_co...

Date posted: 32w ago

@Langwidere Thanks for the encouragement, it’s good to have a community of people who understand. We can all work through this together.

Username: LangwidereLangwidere

Date posted: 32w ago

@Anonymous_confessions Agreed. I’m actually a therapist myself so I know it’s difficult but we can prevail.

Username: Butt3rfly11Butt3rfly11

Date posted: 32w ago

This really spoke to me. I am struggling with a similar thing. I have struggled in the past with obsessions of worrying he will hurt me or that he's "not as it seems." In recent weeks, it's switched to what you're describing here. I am worrying that it is not ROCD anymore but an acceptance that perhaps I'm actually not into him, and thinking the reason I've been so unsettled for a bit in the relationship is not because I have OCD but because he's actually not a good fit for me. I'm worried about ending things, too, because somewhere I'm also worried it's my OCD that's ruining things and I am going to immensely regret ending things in the future. I'm so f*cking exhausted.

Username: Anonymous_confessions Anonymous_co...

Date posted: 32w ago

@Butt3rfly11 I understand, it’s so mentally exhausting, it’s exhausting to be worried, and then when the intense feelings of anxiety lighten up a bit, it’s a whole new ballgame because it feels like maybe it was real all along. Part of me almost wishes the anxiety would come back, because then I would feel better knowing that at least I’m not enjoying or agreeing with these thoughts. I see you, it’s so tough. I hope we can get through it.

Username: LangwidereLangwidere

Date posted: 32w ago

@Butt3rfly11 I totally understand. I’m feeling this too. One thing important to remember is that doubt is completely normal. Urs also important for us to trust ourselves.

Username: tswift123tswift123

Date posted: 32w ago

oh my god i relate to this 100%. i’m not officially diagnosed either but i’m almost 100% sure i have ocd. i say just hang in there and remember you don’t have to decide straight away wether to break up with him or not, even though it feels like your a liar. just don’t cut off the relationship until you’re 100% sure, otherwise you might regret it and you’ll be giving in to your ocd!

Username: Anonymous_confessions Anonymous_co...

Date posted: 32w ago

@tswift123 Yeah I really don’t want to break up, so far I’ve been committed to staying, regardless of what I’m feeling, it’s just tough to try and navigate the thoughts, what they mean, and what to do about them.

Username: tswift123tswift123

Date posted: 32w ago

@Anonymous_confessions yeah me too. it’s the middle of exam season too so all this stress is making everything worse lmao but i’ve told myself no big decisions until after exams and honestly until after summer

Username: Anonymous_confessions Anonymous_co...

Date posted: 32w ago

@tswift123 Well I hope things get a little better for you. Keep pushing forward and don’t give in to your ocd 😊

Username: dee012

Date posted: 1y ago

rocd help

me and my boyfriend have had periods where we fight a lot recently. Ever since then, a lot of people, strangers, coworkers, classmates, anytime, I am around them, I find them attractive, or find qualities about them that are attractive. I feel like maybe this happens because I am lacking something that my boyfriend is not giving me. I just don’t know what, I’m really sad because I really do love my boyfriend and I don’t want anyone else, but these thoughts are really hard to deal with. I also have coworkers that are males that I speak to at work, and I always get intrusive thoughts while I’m talking to them or after. I’m really scared. This means I’m a cheater, or about to cheat. A lot of things have happened to me and my boyfriend’s relationship, not cheating at all but you know there’s way more than that that can happen. I feel like a lot of things have happened that we need to discuss and it’s been weighing on me and causing these thoughts. I feel like maybe I have these thoughts about other people, but my OCD makes it more than what it is and gives me anxiety. Help :(

Relationship OCD

Username: BC123

Date posted: 45w ago

ROCD

I think I have relationship OCD. I will be doing great with my boyfriend then out of no where I get this intrusive thought that he thinks other people are attractive and has a wandering eye for others and I need reassurance immediately. And when he gives me reassurance, I think he’s lying. After like an hour of back and forth repetitive conversation I feel better, then the next day it happens again. Every. Single. Day. I freak out and blow up and need reassurance. I can’t tell if I’m getting these thoughts because they are true or because I’ve been with someone in the past who has cheated on me so I believe that all people get these thoughts. I’m so ready for a cure. Does anyone know what to do? I don’t want to live with this

Username: Anonymous_co...

Date posted: 43w ago

ROCD? Please read 🙏

I’m so terrified that my feelings are not a product of ROCD and are actually real. They feel real, I think they are, and it makes me mad because I just want to be in a happy relationship but then I have a really real thought that picks apart every aspect of my partner: what he looks like, how he sounds, how he acts, how weird he is, his intelligence, his emotional state, etc. recently it’s been really sad because I feel critical towards him doing normal things like feeling exited, or trying to be funny, or making jokes, or even him being vulnerable and crying. I feel so judgemental and it feels so real, like that’s how I really feel, and maybe I do think he’s a little weird but I don’t want that to stop me from loving him. And I feel like it’s bad for be to think and feel all these things. I don’t want to let these thoughts take over my life and ruin all the growth that him and I have done together, but it honestly feel like that’s how I really feel some days, and idk if it’s ROCD.

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