Struggling with persistent intrusive thoughts and seeking help.

When you are fighting your OCD or try to in this case get it,  that will just make the OCD continuing to stay . you kinda of have to learn to sit with the OCD and let it be there. I highly recommend looking up the term ocd response and exposure and what compulsions are and how not to do them. OCD is treatable, but it’s hard and it takes a lot of work to do so. I can feel you why you want to ride it and get rid of it I have harm OCD so I see graphic images of hurting people that are important to me or even killing them. It’s quite disturbing and I really hate them but I’ve learned not to react to them even though it’s really hard and they don’t cause me great distress anymore, but it took me a long time to get that point.  I wish I would’ve looked up more about OCD when I was younger so I could have got properly more results faster when I was younger.

I've never been worried about acting out my thoughts, I just feel terrible and extremely guilty for having such repugnant thoughts. My thoughts realistically cant happen, but everything I dont want to think about seems to pop into my mind. I feel as if I need to be forgiven to move forward. Im a loving dad and husband with 2 amazing children and all I want is to be happy again. Some days I know that I am not my thoughts and other days I can barely function because of them. Im what I would consider very educated when it comes to OCD treatment, but I still cant seem to get on top of it.