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Username: Bwillbebetter

Date posted: 23w ago

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Struggling with pornography addiction and OCD; seeking advice for intrusive thoughts.

adult content addiction and ocd

18+ please! Sorry if this inappropriate. Does anyone else deal with the consequences of having consumed pornography and has ocd? Can you tell me if you also have a lot of intrusive thoughts during sexual activity? I'm not proud to say that I had access to this type of content at a young age and it grew with me until the first years of my adult life. I only became aware of the extent of the damage when I received my ocd diagnosis and even though my therapist and I believe that I have had ocd since childhood, addiction to pornography was an important factor in making the disorder worse since I suffer from graphic images and sexual content intrusive thoughts I've been trying to learn how to have a good relationship with my sexuality without using pornography for a few months, but it's not always easy to use my imagination when I have some tabs open in my head that get in my way. I really can't and don't want to have access to any type of adult content anymore, but I always think it's easier to be able to "silence" intrusive thoughts. It's happened several times where I try to use my imagination and then I have an intrusive thought and I think I stimulated myself by thinking about it and it's just disgusting and I feel really bad. I've been trying to deal with this for months and with medical help for both problems, I really feel dirty and lost about it and I don't know how to make it stop. I spent days avoiding even thinking about anything sexual so I wouldn't have to deal with it, but my therapist said that this is also unhealthy and can become a compulsion, so I don't know what to do. Anyone who goes through/has gone through something similar?

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 23w ago

You’re not alone. I started watching porn at a young age and it definitely has contributed to OCD. Sometimes everything around me seems so sexual when it is. I agree what said earlier - try to start your day by taking it easy in the morning…sending good vibes your way and to everyone else, including myself, that struggles with this

Username: BwillbebetterBwillbebetter

Date posted: 23w ago

Thank you, I know this is horrible to relate to after all, but it's good to know I'm not the only one. Good luck too!

Username: My OCD AcademiaMy OCD Academia

Date posted: 23w ago

Yes I am usually in the same boat. Being afraid of having POCD thoughts makes the thoughts come soaring in because you’re already trying to avoid them. It makes sexual activity that much more difficult and even after, I make sure that I wasn’t “getting off” to the POCD thoughtS

Username: BwillbebetterBwillbebetter

Date posted: 23w ago

It's really so hard because even though I know that I didn't do anything thinking about the content of the intrusive thoughts and that they weren't what made me aroused, I ruminate about them, especially afterwards and then I can't help but feel dirty and scared. Thank you very much for commenting

Username: BigGyro09BigGyro09

Date posted: 20w ago

Hi. It's so sad that all of us that have responded have one thing in common with this: Exposure to it all when we were young. Ever since I was exposed to it young I feel like things have changed and hasn't been the same. It was right after my childhood came to an end too. I was hooked on it and I never let it go because of what it did to my dopamine. I have sexual intrusive thoughts all the time. Whether it's about people I care about, strangers, the videos I recall seeing, and more inappropriate things. I've even seen bad things as a teenager and unfortunately I haven't forgotten about those. I've been trying to get rid of this porn habit for many years. It's going on 10 years being stuck with this soon. I never feel good about it afterwards, which is probably what makes me want to go right back to it. It's like putting yourself in a whole other reality where you escape your problems but when it's over you get dropped back into everything you wanted to get away from. I hate it so much. I've been having a lot of POCD related worries and one recently spiked my anxiety so bad I've been watching porn daily again. Before that happened, I was able to go day by day without it. Now I'm just doing a lot worse. I've had problems where I see things by accident during a relapse and it makes me very uncomfortable and I try to shake it off but it's usually the one intrusive thought that stays. All of it is just hard to deal with. Sorry you go through it too

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Username: Jay947

Date posted: 1y ago

i stuggled with adult content/p0rn from ages 11-18 im 19 now and i stopped but now that i have ocd my brain keeps giving me intrusive thoughts abt sexual acts like in p0rn and it's worse bc i have pocd, so they make me have really awful sexual thoughts that i don't want, anyone else here having this issue?, they all stem from p0rn it's awful. i wish i wasn't exposed to that stuff now. I regret it so bad bc it's ruined my brain and makes my ocd so much worse

POCD

Username: Jay222

Date posted: 34w ago

Intrusive thoughts at inconvenient times

From what I’ve seen from quite a few people on here and Reddit, dealing with intrusive thoughts during “private” time seems to be something i and many others sadly deal with. I’ve “sort of” gotten used to it but I wish I can enjoy myself sexually the way I used to before these thoughts took over my mind. It’s literally what started the POCD obsession for me in the first place, and why it’s so hard to believe it’s OCD when these thoughts are so prevalent when I’m engaging in something sexual. I always feel reluctant to actually do the deed sometimes cause of how present the thoughts are before I do it but I force myself to cause avoiding it isn’t gonna help. And honestly, I just want to get it over with before my sex drive and these thoughts clash and make it infinitely worse. I try my best to focus on what I know I want (gay porn) but it’s like windshield wipers during a storm. I see clearly for like 5 seconds then boom there’s something that shouldn’t be there and I have to stop. Over and over again. It’s even worse when I finish and it finds its way back on mind when it should be the last thing on it at such a moment. I can’t believe the one thing I used as a stress reliever is now something that cause me nothing but stress.

Username: Iwanttogetbe...

Date posted: 32w ago

Sexual intrusive thoughts

I am clean and free from my porn addiction. I was 8 and now I'm 18. I didn't realize it was an addiction until now and all the shame is hitting me at once. I let my porn addiction take me to dark and sketchy places. Now I can't get over the shame of the actions I did. I was shameful before but now I accepted that it was an addiction, ive been so depressed and having thoughts about what I did and if I could go back and save myself now I would. I keep getting so many intrusive sexual thoughts about literally everything. People, places, things, animals and even children. I hate all these anxiety inducing painful thoughts. Does anyone have any insight on recovering from excessive thoughts?

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