Silverymoon
- Date posted
- 1y
I feel like I deserve it
I feel like i deserve a head full of pain because I’ve been so toxic and I’ve done things I’ve never been held accountable for so it feels like my punishment that I deserve
ParadisaParadisa
- Date posted
- 1y
Think of it this way, the more you punish yourself like that the more toxic you’ll be. You gotta forgive yourself for your mistakes, I understand it feels crappy to have hurt others but no one is perfect and as long as you’ve learned from it, all you can do is move forward. I understand 100% like I feel soooooo guilty over some things in past relationships that still get me but I know that obsessing over the past won’t get me ANYWHERE near the future. I unfortunately obsess over improving though 🥲
ZoroarcanineZoroarcanine
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 1y
Myself very much included, a common feeling amongst people battling OCD is a lack of self compassion. We usually don’t need someone else reprimanding us because we got that covered ourselves. When I first received my diagnosis, I used that to mean that I don’t deserve anything nice in life, and I just beat myself down more and more and more. You really should have heard how “helpful” my thoughts were when I turned my back for a moment and my 18 mo old daughter turned and fell and scratched her back. You may or may not have done things that you are not proud of, but truthfully, so does everyone. Things happen. Our choices may or may not be the right one in the moment or they may or may not influence an event. You can only make the decision you feel is best in the moment, and whatever happens will happen. If you haven’t, I recommend seeing a therapist specialized in treating OCD. They would definitely be someone you can share more with about why you feel you deserve this, and help you work through those feelings and to gain the tools to have whenever something new occurs in your life that your brain wants you to feel bad about
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user2826728292
- Date posted
- 22w
Idk what a solution for me could be
I need to find a solution fast to stop this way I’m living but I don’t think it’s possible, I’m in a constant state of pain from being tormented with guilt and warped memories. I know some of the memories to be true and some are all jumbled together so they get warped. It kills me to not know if I’m evil or not , I’m always thinking of the bad things I did when I was like 13 and didn’t know much about what’s truly right and wrong. I just feel like such a bad bad person , I don’t want any form of relationships at all because then I’ll have to confess everything bad I believe I’ve done or else I’m lying to them about who I am. I don’t really want therapy because I’m not confessing these memories or thoughts to a stranger especially because I’m only 16 and very socially awkward so I won’t be able to open up about this at all. I keep most of all of this in secrecy because I know nothing truly gets rid of the guilt. I also don’t allow myself any sympathy anymore because I just think I don’t deserve that either because evil people don’t deserve any empathy , it’s so hard to live with this. I just needed to get this off my chest since I’ve got no one to talk too
Givenup
- Date posted
- 17w
Realizations
Ive also realized... if it's my own fault I have POCD and Real Events OCD to begin with... because of the genuinely horrible real events I've done... then why should I even feel any ounce of sympathy for myself? I don't feel sorry for myself because why would I feel sorry for something I hate? It's my fault right? I did this to myself so I face the consequences... thats how the world works right? I did so many bad things as a teen, so the karma finally catches up to me... right? So yeah... I deserve this... all of this... it's so funny... thinking I deserve a happy life... its all just one big joke... my life is a joke... but jokes at least have a purpose and make people laugh. People do laugh. At me, and not with me. So yeah. I deserve this. All of this. I accept it. I accept it all. Come take me god. Cause I dont want to be here in this world anymore.
myimmortals
- Date posted
- 17w
i’m scared i’m. horrible person
i’ve done so many horrible things and i’m just so scared that i don’t deserve anything good in life
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