- Username
- foreverhatingOCD
- Date posted
- 5y ago
You’re not alone! I’m currently having a really tough time with this. The worst part is when I convince myself that there isn’t anything wrong with me. I haven’t been actually diagnosed with OCD but I saw my therapist today and showed her a website about ROCD. Feeling really down when I read about people struggling to recover from this too. :( It’s nice to have somewhere to talk to others who understand!
I’m not formally diagnosed either, and honestly just knowing this much about myself with the OCD and knowing how far it’s gone back in my life and I didn’t know and haven’t caught it, I don’t know if I want to be formally diagnosed. It’s kind of an irrational scary thought, even though it’s not really. Sorry if that’s a bit confusing. It’s like I’m struggling to accept it about myself and a diagnosis will make it real, even though I already know how real it is for me. I’ve been on the convincing end too. Except, I feel like I’m convincing myself that I love him even though I have 5000 negative thoughts in my head that say otherwise, and in reality, I do love him. But then I feel guilty and it starts back over. It’s all very confusing, but I’m with you there.
@cupcake55, it’s hard sometimes to find a therapist who specializes in OCD and is trained in the right therapy for it. Don’t be afraid to keep searching to find the right fit!
I can relate. Once I learned that ROCD is a thing and that googling articles is a compulsion it was like a lightbulb went off in my head. My therapist reminds me that there is no one way to know and no right answer to whether a relationship is right or not. I understand how hard it is!
Thank you so much for responding! I’m the same way, when I learned about compulsions so much made sense to me about what I was doing and how much I actually feed into my OCD. I would love to find a therapist that truly gets it, you are very lucky❤️
You are not alone!! You now have a community of people who can completely relate to you. I have been dealing with the same thing and through it all I have learned that love is a choice. I know that my boyfriend is amazing and that I wanted to be with him forever before this hit me, so I continue to choose him everyday and fight this monster. I’m not sure if that was very helpful but just my two cents :)
Such good advice, love is a choice is actually one of my favorite reminders. Thank you so much for your words, you really helped ease my mind a lot ❤️
@EDC Of course! It helps ease my mind as well just by typing it out :) every day is a struggle, but I know we all got this!
Wow you guys, this is seriously so uplifting, you have no idea! I felt so alone and the compulsive thoughts were eating me alive. Thank you for commenting, all of you! And you guys aren’t alone either. I’m happy to share any of my experiences or thoughts to help in any way I can!
So it’s not like I’m always having obsessive thoughts about my boyfriend, but I always have this inner feeling that something isn’t right when there’s absolutely nothing wrong. Does anyone else have this? Like even when the thoughts aren’t there
ME all the way
@EDC Glad I’m not alone!
@Chrissy417 You’re not, for sure. Actually, when I get that feeling you’re talking about, that’s when I start googling. And inevitably I find hundreds of articles titled “Listen To Your Gut!” “Your Chemistry Just Doesn’t Match!” “How You Know He’s Not The One!” I instantly freak out and think all the worse things about my relationship and my feelings for my boyfriend. There’s a YouTuber I recently followed called “Awakentolove” and she talks a lot about these topics and about how they trigger OCD so badly, and how with OCD, our gut feeling can be wrong sometimes.
@EDC I actually watch her videos and follow her on Instagram!! She has definitely helped me a lot as well :) the doubts are still there though, it sucks
This is so long ah I’m so sorry. I’m really just trying to get all my thoughts out/ see if anyone feels similarly/ and what they’ve found helps. I’ve never been diagnosed with OCD, but I’ve looked into it a lot and feel that I might have ROCD. (I was once diagnosed with anxiety, but didn’t keep up with therapy because my parents weren’t keen on it.) Now I really want to invest in it to get a formal diagnoses/help, and I’m going to start looking into that. I’m scared that this isn’t ROCD, and I’m truly just in the wrong relationship, or not actually in love with my partner. But then sometimes I’m certain it is? We’ve been together for a year and a couple of months, and it has been wonderful. She makes me feel so loved and so understood. She is my best friend. But this summer when we were on break from school I started getting major doubts once I’d found out about ROCD and some of my thoughts lined up with it’s description. I’d already started to have doubts before the summer. She is the first person I‘ve slept with, and it took a while for me to have an orgasm, and that made me freak out and start to question my attraction towards her/our compatibility. Every time we’d have sex I’d worry over this. (Though I also think it has to do with me not knowing what I wanted/what I liked in bed) Our sex life got better but I still had obsessive thoughts. I have them daily - “what if I don’t love her” or “what if this isn’t the right relationship” or “should I be dating someone else” When I’m with her I’m constantly checking. If we kiss, I’ll analyze how it feels (or how it doesn’t) and the same thing goes for when she compliments me or says she loves me. I’ll say I love her but something in my brain will say “but do you really?” Honestly, I’ve gotten to the point where when I think of her or am with her it makes me so anxious. I literally feel it in my stomach and chest. It’s so hard to deal with. I can’t make it stop. I think part of it is that I’m anxious that I’ll feel anxious/start to have obsessive thoughts, so I get anxious? I just want to be able to think of her and be around her and not feel so scared and anxious and always checking. I feel like my anxiety isn’t letting me truly experience my relationship.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for three years. This past year we were at the best place we have ever been which honestly isn’t saying too because we’ve always had a pretty healthy relationship but last year we took a lot of big steps together. Moving in together, spending more time with each other’s family, sharing milestones like graduation with each other and our families. At some point I started getting real nit picky. Analyzing everything that he did. Constantly checking if I found him attractive. Comparing him and our relationship to what people around us looked like. It started to feel like everything he did I found a flaw in and it made me feel horrible. I’m with the best guy ever and he is so dedicated and loving. I would push these thoughts away, try and pray them away and that would work for a while. Eventually it felt like I was going insane. Things that I never( in all my years of dating) cared about now seemed to be all that I could focus on. I started measuring my attraction to everyone ( people who before this I never even gave a second thought to). I just wish I knew why it’s like this now or what triggered the intrusive thoughts. It makes me wonder if I’m settling but then I don’t feel like anything about him could ever be considered settling. I’m constantly praying for a sign or divine intervention. It wasn’t until I stumbled across a TikTok post that described Relationship Anxiety that I finally felt seen, like to a T every detail described what I’ve been feeling and doing. I’m not sure how ROCD differers from Relationship Anxiety but I’m hoping that by finally sharing and not holding this all in I can start to face and conquer this.
Hello! I am in a fairly new relationship (5 months) and I’m starting to struggle with Relationship OCD (I think?) I have begun to constantly question my feelings for this person (ex. do I love them enough, are they good enough, do I even like them) even though we have never had any major problems and I genuinely enjoy spending time with them. However, these thoughts have become so encompassing that I no longer feel able to connect to my real feelings for this person, which then makes the thoughts stronger. I will be discussing this with my therapist tomorrow but wanted to see if anyone here has had a similar experience. Thanks in advance!
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