My harm OCD is acting up again, especially with so much violence in the world, media, true crime podcasts constantly being played by people, or depictions of killers on tv. I feel like I can’t escape it, I try to rationalize with myself that I would never hurt anybody. At the same time my brain insists on playing tricks on me and makes me worry that I may do something crazy. I’m scared of myself at this point and I’m so exhausted. I know my OCD is being the absolute worst, but I’m scared something more may be going on and I don’t know what to do. I’m so afraid of being told that I’m crazy

just a couple days ago i experienced this for the first time from watching the new DAHMER series. Im having intrusive images and thoughts of me harming or killing my loved ones and its so scary because i would never do it. It has me questioning if im crazy and im having severe panic attacks over 3 times a day. Im mentally and physically drained, i’ve told my mom about it and we are going to see a therapist tomorrow. Im scared to because idk if they specialize in OCD and if i tell them my thoughts they are gonna put me in the mental hospital or say im crazy and don’t have OCD, can any therapists on here or fellow people with Harm OCD let me know if you think im showing signs of it, i just want it to go away and to be able to sleep at night without severe overthinking.

My Harm OCD is out of control. I’m trying so hard to keep living my life, but it’s scaring me even more. It’s starting to feel more real. It’s feeling like I’m right on the edge of acting on my thoughts and that I actually want to do it. It feels like this is never going to go away and I’m now this person who is going to harm someone. I’m at work because I’m supposed to keep living my life and not do compulsions. But not doing them is terrifying me. I feel like a complete monster and I don’t know what to do.

Was watching a YouTube video and the person talked about school shootings & how people are crazy. I immediately got distressed thinking “what if i’m crazy, what if I do something as horrible as that” and got so many scary intrusive thoughts after. I feel so ashamed and i feel like a terrible person for these thoughts and some days I want to burst out crying but no tears come out, just a lot of panic & worry. I feel so shameful. And to make matters worse, later that day I saw this funny news for a video game and I didn’t remember how to spell it correctly and when I pressed search, I saw a photo of a bullet & that made me feel so damn scared. Like what if I intentionally searched for it even though I was expecting a video game. Then I started thinking about how on the news they always claim the mass shooters would be obsessed with firearms and It just made my OCD that much worse. Then my OCD goes into my past to find “evidence” that could prove I’m a horrible person that would do something like that. I can’t get these intrusive thoughts and images out and I hate it. I hate violence. I’ve talked to my therapist over and over about how I feel like this horrible person and I give her a list of all the things that I’ve done wrong and to her, she knows that it’s OCD. I would never intentionally physically harm anyone. The only time I would get into a physical confrontation is to defend myself or loved ones. I just feel like I’m going crazy