My father just told me that I’m a bad daughter to him, and in our religion I didn’t get my parents validation, I will go to hell no matter what, so why bother live if I’m going to hell no matter what good I do?
Hey it’s going to be okay, this might seem pretty big in the moment, but his opinion of you isn’t that powerful if you don’t let it bother you or shape the beauty God made you with. Nothing is worth killing yourself over because this life is a gift, and you are too precious to be dead yet. No one’s validations is as important as what you think of and believe about yourself, please remember that. You are always going to stick with yourself, so your opinion should be the highest on the totem pole. You are not going to hell if you don’t receive someone else’s validation, please do not believe something so rash, you can always change religion and not choose to have rules dictate your life rather than pure love. And if you want to find that in totality, you could learn more about the life of Jesus and how he’s changed so many lives and be open to surrendering your life to him. I am a Christian and want Jesus to help me the most but it’s hard to do I’ll admit, but is better than wallowing in my sadness and feeling terrible about things I can’t change. He will help get rid of these awful thoughts I’d you let him. Believe you are going to succeed, and you will. Hang in there 🩷🩷
Jesus loves you.
Please don’t. validation from others is not your worth.
I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Those thoughts are so difficult to go through, I hear you and I'm listening.
And if you're really thinking about it, please call a crisis hotline. It's completely anonymous and they won't try to find you or even keep track of your phone number. I've used a crisis number before, and I can verify, all they are here for is listening in this moment
Last night when I was laying in bed, I was just thinking about my religion. I’m a Christian and for some reason, I said a bad word in my mind about God I’m not gonna type the word on here. I can barely even say it. I just don’t understand why I thought that And I prayed for forgiveness sometimes I feel guilty. Sometimes I don’t. I don’t understand why I said that I know it’s not true. I know I don’t mean it, but what if I did what if God is going to punish me now for that thought I know we’re human and we make mistakes but I just can’t forgive myself for this. I haven’t been able to think about anything else. I’ve been miserable since this happened. I’m just so done and I don’t know what else I can do.
i feel depressed. i’m so tired of living with constant guilt, fear, and pain. i feel so lost and lifeless. i feel like i’m not living for myself anymore. i'm so done with my life. i really hate myself. it’s all my fault. everything that goes wrong and everything that keeps happening to me is all my fault. i feel sorry for the people who have me in their lives. they don’t deserve someone like me. this world doesn’t deserve a person like me. i can’t do this anymore. every night, i keep crying. i just don’t want to wake up the next morning, yet i keep waking up. for me, another day is another suffering. i hate myself so much. i don’t deserve anything good. i hate my really bad and dark thoughts, and i can’t tell whether they are truly mine or not. the guilt is eating me alive, and i feel hopeless and undeserving of forgiveness. my family doesn’t know about my struggles, and i don’t want them to. i don’t want to be a burden or make them feel like they failed as parents. i don’t want to make their lives any harder. i just hate my religious ocd. sometimes i think i’m just making it an excuse. i feel sorry for God and Jesus for being this kind of person. i wish i wasn’t born into this world. i can’t continue living like this. i feel like i’m going insane. i’m just accepting that i’m horrible, and that all those bad thoughts are mine. that i'm disrespectful and a terrible person. i'm not suicidal. i’m just so tired of living like this. i'm not expecting happiness or anything good because i don’t deserve any of it. i feel like a disgusting person. i hate that someone like me still has the courage to show up every day around other people. i deserve all the pain and to drown in it. i just want to vent about what i really feel right now because it feels so heavy and unbearable. i don’t want to make others’ lives miserable or hurt God anymore.
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