- Date posted
- 1y
I’m thinking of suicide
My father just told me that I’m a bad daughter to him, and in our religion I didn’t get my parents validation, I will go to hell no matter what, so why bother live if I’m going to hell no matter what good I do?
My father just told me that I’m a bad daughter to him, and in our religion I didn’t get my parents validation, I will go to hell no matter what, so why bother live if I’m going to hell no matter what good I do?
Hey it’s going to be okay, this might seem pretty big in the moment, but his opinion of you isn’t that powerful if you don’t let it bother you or shape the beauty God made you with. Nothing is worth killing yourself over because this life is a gift, and you are too precious to be dead yet. No one’s validations is as important as what you think of and believe about yourself, please remember that. You are always going to stick with yourself, so your opinion should be the highest on the totem pole. You are not going to hell if you don’t receive someone else’s validation, please do not believe something so rash, you can always change religion and not choose to have rules dictate your life rather than pure love. And if you want to find that in totality, you could learn more about the life of Jesus and how he’s changed so many lives and be open to surrendering your life to him. I am a Christian and want Jesus to help me the most but it’s hard to do I’ll admit, but is better than wallowing in my sadness and feeling terrible about things I can’t change. He will help get rid of these awful thoughts I’d you let him. Believe you are going to succeed, and you will. Hang in there 🩷🩷
Jesus loves you.
Please don’t. validation from others is not your worth.
I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Those thoughts are so difficult to go through, I hear you and I'm listening.
And if you're really thinking about it, please call a crisis hotline. It's completely anonymous and they won't try to find you or even keep track of your phone number. I've used a crisis number before, and I can verify, all they are here for is listening in this moment
This past week I realized I have not friends. It makes me feel lonely. I’ve been homeschooled my whole life, so my only social life would be work or church. I don’t have a job right now due to medical reasons. But I feel like such a fucking loser right now. The voices of my family and myself are making me feel horrible. “You couldn’t even kill yourself right.” Is what my brother said. He told me I need to grow up and realize that nobody gives a fuck. I feel like there’s something wrong with me. Am I really just a sensitive piece of shit? Am I just being dramatic? I feel so lost right now. I can’t stop comparing myself to others who seem to be doing so well. It’s not like I haven’t been searching for a job. They’ve all turned me down. I’ve gotten help and I know my resume is great. Maybe my dad is right that it’s really just how I am. People are hired because of the way they are. I am not outgoing or friendly or approachable and it makes me hate myself so much. I know I can’t kill myself. I can’t put that financial and emotional burden on my family. I’m already enough of a burden as it is. I know that I’m “never a burden,” but the truth is I am. My mom even admitted that I was the most burden of a child and it makes me feel so guilty. I wish they didn’t love me. It’s so selfish and horrible to say that. I know there’s someone out there who deserves my life and family more than I do. I deserve punishment and failure. But I want an answer. It’s impossible to know the future. Am I right? Am I really destined for failure? If only I got that answer I’d be relieved. It’s not the ideal answer, but it’s still an answer. I don’t have to try anymore. It’s fucking tiring. I know I’m not alone. I just don’t know anymore. Maybe I need to realize that this is real life and life’s not fair.
How do you deal with so many bad things that OCD makes you think about? Because ever since my therapist said it might not be OCD, even though that she believe it is, I think a lot that if it isn't, So I created such bad thoughts in my head. And my god, what a horrible thing. I never wanted this. My parents don't deserve such a bad daughter.
I know this isn’t healthy but I’m in a really bad place. If I actually did something so disgusting I don’t deserve to live. I know me dying would just cause more pain but I feel it’s what I deserve. I confessed on here, which I know I shouldn’t have, but being ignored is making me worry that my actions were actually unacceptable
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