Porn and rocd

I’m spiraling right now because I don’t want my partner to cheat on me in the near future or think about anyone else 😭 I know it’s normal to find others attractive but I don’t want my partner doing it to other people or cheating on me and never telling me I’m sorry I saw someone else post now I’m tripping out right now that my partner may have done that to me I want to be single for life

Hey, I really need your opinion – I think I might be struggling with Relationship OCD, and these thoughts are driving me crazy. I’ve been officially diagnosed with OCD, and I believe I also have ROCD. My obsessive thoughts often focus on one specific girl from my boyfriend’s past. She had messaged him a few times, and I think she liked him – but he never liked her back. He barely knew her, never found her attractive, and never wanted anything with her. She’s just a good friend of his best friend – not an ex or anything like that. He told me that he happened to be in the same group as her a couple of times – once at a birthday party and once at a fair – just because his best friend brought her along. He made it clear several times that she’s not his type at all, neither in looks nor in personality. He described her as someone who likes to go out and party a lot, and said that’s just not what he’s into. He also said he didn’t ask about her – these things were mentioned to him before our relationship. Almost all of this happened before we met – except for one thing: the fair. That was just one day before our second date, back when we had just started getting to know each other. She was with his friend group that night. He said he only said hi and bye to her, nothing more. The next day, when we met again, we were talking about his friends’ heights. He casually mentioned that his friend was the same height as that girl – 1.70 m. Ever since, I keep wondering: If she meant nothing to him, why did he even talk about her? Or did he actually talk to her that night, even though he said he didn’t? I know he said they barely exchanged a word, but somehow he still knew that detail. I just find that strange. Another example: He once said she was “kind of slutty.” Then, one or two months later, when I brought it up again, he said he didn’t know if she was or not, and that he didn’t care at all. That really confused me. I keep wondering: Why did he say something like that in the first place if he supposedly doesn’t care about her? I also notice this really frustrating cycle: When I talk to him about something that doesn’t make sense to me, I feel brief relief. But then, almost immediately, another thought or detail pops up that feels “off” again – and I feel like I have to bring that up, too. I can’t tolerate the uncertainty. It’s like an endless loop. These little “inconsistencies” – or what I perceive as inconsistencies – make me spiral, even though I do believe he’s being honest with me. I want to trust him. But I have this constant urge to bring up every little thing that doesn’t feel logically right. Every detail stays in my head for days, and it’s really hard not to talk about it. Does this sound like Relationship OCD to you? Do any of you go through this constant analyzing and doubt? I’d really appreciate your thoughts. I’m slowly ruining my own relationship..

Hey, I really need your honest opinion. I have been diagnosed with OCD and I also suspect that I struggle with Relationship OCD (ROCD) or obsessive jealousy. I often get completely stuck on certain situations – and right now it’s happening again. Situation 1 – Supermarket: A few days ago, we were at the supermarket and parked right in front of the entrance. At that moment, a young woman came out of the store. My boyfriend looked at her – for me, that’s “looking at someone.” For him, it’s not. He said: “I only looked in that direction. I didn’t look at her.” “I don’t even remember what she looked like.” When I first explained to him what “looking” means for me – for example, if our eyes meet, I already consider that “looking” – he still kept saying, “I didn’t look at her.” For him, “looking” means consciously focusing on someone with intention. For me, it’s already “looking” if our eyes meet or I notice him glancing at someone, regardless of intention. Later, when we discussed it more calmly, he said he “saw” her but didn’t “look” at her in his sense of the word. For him, this was consistent – but for me, this change in wording feels like an inconsistency. My mind latches onto it and keeps asking: if he really meant “I saw her,” why didn’t he say that from the beginning? Situation 2 – Car: In another situation, a woman with a suitcase was getting into a car in front of us. In my opinion, my boyfriend looked at the car and the woman a bit longer before she got in (not long, but longer). Of course, this could have simply been because there was movement and she was putting the suitcase into the car. Later, I asked him if there was a reason why he looked at the car a bit longer. He said: “No, there was no reason.” My thoughts afterwards: Even though we talked about both situations, my brain keeps scanning everything afterwards: • Was it really like that? • Was his first statement different from the second? • Was it really “not looking” in his sense – or “looking” in mine? • Why did he look at the woman a bit longer before she got in? • Why did he look at the car longer if there was no reason? • Is he lying to me because he said it differently at the beginning than later when we talked more calmly? Situation 3 – Other recent triggers: Yesterday, my boyfriend said to me: “If you know that I didn’t look at her with any intention, why would you even bring it up?” This made my brain spiral again, because I thought: Why would he say that if he says he didn’t look at her at all? During an argument, he also said that when we talk about topics like this, “it’s basically obvious that we’ll end up fighting.” Somehow, this also made me overthink what exactly he meant by that and if there was something hidden behind it. Another example: he says he doesn’t look at other women, but recently he ran into his best friend’s ex-girlfriend. He told me that she “looked at him in a weird way.” Later, it turned out that she had actually smiled at him. When I asked about this, he said that by “weird” he meant that she is a bad person in his opinion, and therefore her smile felt strange to him. But my mind still keeps going over why he didn’t just say “she smiled” in the first place. Back to Situation 1 and 2: I personally remember the looks and interpret them as “looking” – and that’s exactly what I can’t let go of. I notice that I constantly check for inconsistencies, almost obsessively – and even though we have talked about it, I can’t stop analyzing. I sit here with this inner restlessness and have the strong urge to bring it up again. But I know it wouldn’t help – it would only calm me down temporarily, and then the cycle would start again. Despite his explanations, I still internally doubt his honesty, even though I know there’s actually no objective reason to. It almost feels dangerous to me not to bring it up. I feel like I have to clarify if he was “really honest” – even if, objectively, there’s no reason to doubt it. The situation was 3 days ago, but today, out of nowhere, the topic of “looking” popped into my head again. At the beginning, he said he didn’t know what or who I meant, and then suddenly he said he never looked at her at the supermarket – that he only looked in that direction. It makes no sense to me why he suddenly knew after first saying he didn’t know. Now I can’t stand it anymore and I want to bring the topic up again because it triggers this uncertainty in me. I know my partner loves me and is honest – at least I hope so – and yet I’m sitting here feeling like I can’t stand it if I don’t talk about it again. I’m tired. My question: Does this sound like OCD / ROCD / obsessive jealousy to you? Or could it actually just be normal jealousy? I honestly feel like my brain is destroying me over this. Thank you so much if you can give me your thoughts.