- Date posted
- 44w ago
Porn and rocd
Am I crazy for thinking that my boyfriend watching porn is cheating?
Am I crazy for thinking that my boyfriend watching porn is cheating?
If you set the boundary that watching porn makes you uncomfortable and he does it anyways, then no.
@Ellie… Thank you
No, because it literally is. How is it any different from him paying a call girl? Don’t let anyone gas light you into thinking this has to do with OCD just because you have a basic moral standard for your relationship.
@RKRowton2005 Thank you. Its hard to tell whether its a moral or ocd or both. I think its a moral but ocd has definitely latched on to it and caused me lots of compulsions around it.
Definitely not crazy. This is very understandable and you should communicate these feelings with your partner. Some couples may not be bothered by this and others might. Tell him how this makes you feel and the boundary you set will go from there. If he continues to do this anyway, then there is more of a cause for concern in my opinion.
@BigGyro09 Thank you this makes a lot of sense ❤️
You’re not crazy at all. You’re dealing with an obsession. Masturbation in both men and women is very important. It is proven to relieve stress, improve intimacy with your partner and also give you an opposite to explore your own pleasures. As long as it is not taking away from yours and your partners sex life how he chooses to pleasure himself, may be through watching porn. However if this doesn’t upset you communicate it with your partner
@Miss.OCD Thank you 🙏❤️
Nope not crazy, this is a reasonable response to your partner essentially deriving pleasure from someone other than you and, possibly, “someone” who can meet sexual wants you may not be comfortable with. Some may be okay with this—it depends on the couple. But if it’s been established that this is NOT appropriate, then he should absolutely not be consuming porn. Even if you didn’t establish it beforehand, I’d still say you’re reasonable in being upset. It’s you finding out something about your partner’s values that you didn’t know before, something maybe you’re not comfortable with. It can be jarring.
@chibiyu Thank you for commenting. I feel a lot less crazy when you put it that way, it can definitely be jarring. I just wish my ocd didnt latch onto it in the way it did because its already hard enough without ocd.
Does Rocd make it nearly impossible to forgive your partner for anything. Whether it is big or small? My situation is so gray area where there’s something my bf did that I feel like I’m not okay with but he did this when we were first dating (not bf and gf yet). I ruminate all day about it bc I don’t want to lose him and see a future with him and I know he loves me so purely. But I also feel like I’m going against my morals here bc I do feel betrayed by what he did. I try to forgive him by diminishing my feelings and telling myself “he never did anything physical with a girl or went out with another girl while we were together” but still feel so hurt that he even messaged another girl while us dating. He’s given me an explanation and has proved how much I can trust him so I’m just completely stuck on whether I should forgive something I know I would’ve never done to him or leave him even though the only thing he’s done wrong was before us becoming official. I’ve broken up with him countless times over this situation bc I feel like I “can’t live with it” but then immediately when we break up I want him back and I kind of understand his explanation and reasoning. I don’t know what is ocd and what is my real intuition anymore. I genuinely think it’s both. Are any of you guys in the same boat?
I'm 18, and been in a relationship with my man for nearly 2 years. I started living with him around 2 months ago, and all I do is think about if he's cheating. We were long distance for a year and a half of our relationship, maybe seeing eachother once every month or two. I decided to move in with him, and ever since all I can think about is if he's cheating or watching porn. When he's in another room I think he's doing something wrong, I have to check on him every ten minutes to ease my anxiety. I didn't have this problem before moving in. Granted he has talked to some girls on his phone, even having his ex on his phone (didn't do anything bad) and he is porn addicted though he is getting better for me. It's gotten so bad I want to leave him. A couple days ago I broke up with him and it absolutely broke my heart, I couldn't bare it so I gave him a month to show me he can do better, and for me to work on myself. If I'm still unhappy with us I'm going to leave. I love this boy more than anything. I'm scared to be without him, this is my first real relationship. At this point I refuse to even sleep until he is sleeping. I don't want to start over, I don't want to leave him, but I really can't take this pain it's causing me. It's all I think about. I've convinced myself so many times that he's cheating, but I know he wouldn't. I question whether it's anxiety or intuition. Maybe I just know deep down he really is cheating and I just don't want to believe it. I don't know. I don't think he would do that, but at the same time he's really into women. I hate that he looks at other girls in a sexual way, it bothers me so much, and we talk about it often, but with it being an addiction it's difficult. He has gotten a lot better since we have talked about it. He understands I have an issue and is usually happy to talk about it over and over and promise me over and over that he's not cheating. He allows me to have his phone whenever I want and everything, I have no reason to think he's cheating, but I can't get over it. It's not fair to him either. How do I deal with this? How do I stop hurting so much?
My psychologist tells me because my thoughts are based off of facts/ broken boundaries which is why I am having thoughts of am i in love , am I settling , and feeling guilty I should let him go to find someone who wouldn’t doubt him that I do not have rocd. She states rocd is intrusive , irrational thoughts not based off of real facts and I may have ptsd not ocd. He kissed someone else before we were official and he finds a certain type of female attractive that I find disgusting . So I spin about these issues all day long to the point I’m so unhappy with him and had to break up . It’s been over a month now but I’m still severely anxious and depressed The thing is I can’t stop thinking about this 24/7 with severe anxiety and depression and nothing is helping me . Can someone please tell me their thoughts
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