ROCD

My gf and I broke up (I initiated), and decided to go no contact for a little bit until my ROCD is settled down and u tik I make a decision as to whether or not we should get back together. But I’m not sure if I broke up with her because if genuine issues in our relationship or if my rocd was getting to be too much so I figured breaking up with her was the easiest route to stop the rocd thoughts. How do I know if my thoughts about my gf and I breaking up are real versus rocd thoughts? I feel good right now (being broken up) but I’m thinking that’s because it is my rocd thoughts have gone away bc I’m not in a relationship anymore. I would always question if we were meant to be together and would get worried when I recognized that I found someone else attractive. Please help, I don’t know what to do.

Chibee

Date posted: 1y

Why did you break up? Could you go in a bit more detail? (if comfortable)

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@chibiyu I was just so overwhelmed with feeling like I needed to break up with her. We had our issues. She stressed me out, but we worked through things together. One day, I just felt like I needed to break up with her. I don’t know why though. I just felt it deep down that I needed to do it and then I’d be happy because I wouldn’t be missing out in experiencing things with other people. But now that were broken up, I don’t want that

Chibee

Date posted: 1y

@Anonymous Did she stress you out, or did the OCD that accompanied being in a relationship stress you out? Sounds like you already have your answer but are still hesitant out of fear of repeating the same behavior. I’ve dealt with this as well. What you are experiencing are breakup compulsions. It’s a common compulsion for ROCD. As a quick way to ease our anxiety, we find a way to eliminate the trigger—AKA the relationship. But it’s only temporary and doesn’t actually solve the problem. Having broken up, do you feel the relief that you thought you would have now? I imagine you still feel just as anxious and probably miss your partner. Yeah. Me too. :) When I first met my LDR partner, my ROCD hit immediately and O quickly told him to distance himself, only for us to be committed and official within a few days. I from then on learnt to not listen to those quick and sudden urges I might get to break things off just at the slightest inconvenience. I still get the urges, and I’ve been dating my lovely partner for two years! I have plans to marry him. But the urges don’t stop, BECAUSE they’re irrational and don’t reflect the actual security of the relationship. If anything, the urges can be stronger the more you value your relationship. If you find you are experiencing break up urges, stop. And I mean STOP. Breathe. Give yourself space from your partner if you must, but what you must do is RECOGNIZE that you are in the midst of an OCD flare up. Listen to your body. Am I acting normally? Am I experiencing panic symptoms? Whatever you use to help you identify an OCD episode, do that. Because recognizing you are having an episode is going to help you validate that your breakup urges are FAKE and that you are NOT in immediate danger and that you do NOT need to flee your relationship. If I find the urges are especially powerful, I give myself 24 hours. Typically during that time the urges die down and I have at least one moment of clarity where I can recognize what’s happening, and it def helps prevent me from instigating a senseless fight with my partner! I genuinely wish you the best—please talk things out with your partner and, should you desire to, get back together and give it another shot! Sounds like you miss her. :) But what you also need to do is reassure her on what happened, and what you are going to do to prevent this in the future. Reassure her a lot. Breakups are emotional and scary events, and this is not the sort of compulsion you’d want to get into the habit of doing. Any compulsion that involves another person is the type you want to fight the most! But you can do it. I believe in you! My partner and I have fought and we have won many, many times!!!! Best of luck sweetheart!! ♥️ Keep us posted!

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y

@chibiyu Thank you so much for your kind words ❤️ I will definitely keep you all posted!

bmaria

Date posted: 25w

Rocd?

My psychologist tells me because my thoughts are based off of facts/ broken boundaries which is why I am having thoughts of am i in love , am I settling , and feeling guilty I should let him go to find someone who wouldn’t doubt him that I do not have rocd. She states rocd is intrusive , irrational thoughts not based off of real facts and I may have ptsd not ocd. He kissed someone else before we were official and he finds a certain type of female attractive that I find disgusting . So I spin about these issues all day long to the point I’m so unhappy with him and had to break up . It’s been over a month now but I’m still severely anxious and depressed The thing is I can’t stop thinking about this 24/7 with severe anxiety and depression and nothing is helping me . Can someone please tell me their thoughts

Firefly girl

Date posted: 24w

Rocd

I’m so confused if the breakup was the right decision I felt so confident about it in the moment but now I feel the opposite I don’t understand how my emotions can switch up on me this much

Anonymous

Date posted: 22w

is it rocd or just a relationship?

hey you guys i’m new to the app, i just wanted to come on here and share part of what i’ve been struggling with recently- around the beginning of 2024 i started having intrusive thoughts and they completely took over my life to the point where i began planning my suicide once i had finished out some of my commitments for that year. during that time i met this girl and we began texting and keeping in touch with each other every single day since last february. (tw suicide) unfortunately i did have to spend some time in a hospital after i attempted suicide in may of 2024 and i never really knew if this girl was into me or if she even liked girls but we kept talking up until the end of october where we finally said we liked each other. immediately i could tell smth was wrong bc i was shaking and crying and completely scared because i wanted to be very clear that i couldn’t commit to a relationship and then i disclosed to her i was in the hospital in may and i still hadn’t fully recovered from that (#stillhavent #butiwillsoitsokay😛) and i felt awful that i had responded to such an amazing moment like that andever since then i had been plagued with these constant thoughts about not liking her, being straight (which i still don’t know and fully branched out into SOOCD and i have an incredibly hard time distinguishing what is OCD and what is genuinely true about my sexuality because ive never really felt like this for a girl) and for about 4 months we went out on dates where i felt absolutely horrible because i felt like i wasn’t acting like myself or i was being rude to her or i was more attracted to male passerby’s than her or i accidentally thought something about her that just felt so mean and horrible. i also convinced myself it could never work because i couldn’t picture her face and that continued for the first two months, but then i decided to call things off at the beginning of march because i just couldn’t handle debating if i actually liked her if i was gay if i was a horrible person and if i was wrong for all the things i thought every single day and currently we’re on a break because i tried to call things off and she kind of talked me out of it in a very kind and understanding way. i just hate leaving her in limbo because at the end of the day i just want her to be happy because she is an amazing incredible and sweet person and if i wasted more of her time i’d feel even more awful. kinda long lowk… if u read all this thank u and lmk what u think:)

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