Trouble leaving the house… anyone else?

Last year, I lost my dad. I completely lost it and had to be put on antipsychotics and depression meds. I’m currently on Vraylar which is supposed to help with most of my diagnoses including OCD (according to my doc). She’s been trying to get me into CBT and read a 70 dollar book (my adhd makes it hard to focus so I struggle with reading); it’s not a favorite past time of mine because of that and my dyslexia. I’ve lost my ability to drive unless my wife is with me (she’s my safe person) and same goes for leaving the house. I can’t make myself drive or leave the house without a support human. My doc says CBT therapy will help but I’m so nervous that I’m going to be stuck like this forever. I rarely drove before my dad died but I did drive and since his passing, I can’t bring myself to do it. I get so many intrusive thoughts that I’m going to kill myself or others by driving. I’ve been in 3 accidents alone in my suv and so it’s not like I shouldn’t be worried (only one accident was my fault due to not checking my blind spot for reference). I’m an extremely careful driver but I think of all the worst ways it could go bad. Has anyone else dealt with this and has CBT helped? Are you driving or doing the things you used to be able to do again? If so, how did you do it? I’m at a loss here and my wife keeps pushing me to drive but I can’t force myself to do it. I get to the front door and I can’t leave the house even with keys in hand. Sorry for the novel but this is what I’ve been dealing with for the last almost year or so.

Username: Wolfram Wolfram

Date posted: 27w ago

I teach people to drive and have taught people who didn't want to for similar reasons. As for not wanting to leave the house, it sounds like agoraphobia. I know this is a weird question but do you have any phobias you can't find anyone relating to? (own personal curiosity as I've been looking into comorbid phobias and disorders). When is the last time you left the house on your own?

Username: AmssAmss

Date posted: 27w ago

@Wolfram I thought about agoraphobia as well as one of the kiddos I used to work with had it. Funny that I used to work with autistic kids but can’t do it for myself now. I haven’t left my house on my own in months… about 3 months to be exact. I start my car up and let it run so it doesn’t make the battery go bad since I had to just replace it and then replace it again because of letting it sit. I’m honestly afraid of hurting or killing someone while driving especially with our 9 year old in the vehicle with me. My wife says my driving is great when she’s driven with me but the entire time, my brain hears all of these intrusive thoughts and I start to not pay attention to the actual driving part.

Username: Wolfram Wolfram

Date posted: 27w ago

@Amss OK that's something I've worked with. Do you know how to deal with intrusive thoughts? Do you interact with them?

Username: AmssAmss

Date posted: 27w ago

@Wolfram I don’t try to interact with them but I think the fear of it all is what makes me feed into it if I do. I always think if I get ready and dressed that I can make it out the door but then I turn around and just start sobbing because I can’t almost like a wall is stopping me from leaving and it’s so heavy.

Username: Wolfram Wolfram

Date posted: 27w ago

@Amss Have you ever done erp?

Username: Wolfram Wolfram

Date posted: 27w ago

@Amss https://youtu.be/lEj-kgtb-qE?feature=shared I've seen quite a few things about this from this guy over the last year or 2. He explains erp. Not necessarily in this videos but you can find others by him

Username: AmssAmss

Date posted: 27w ago

@Wolfram I’ve not done erp before, no. I just learned about it yesterday on this app.

Username: AmssAmss

Date posted: 27w ago

@Wolfram I try not to do ABA as it was something I did before and as an autistic person, I can’t condone it. It’s more harmful that I’ve seen from personally working with autistic kids in aba. I’d never go back.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 27w ago

Ive dealt with agoraphobia at various times in my life. It’s so painful, Im sorry youre struggling with it. I also avoid driving. I have a safe zone I can drive, but if I go outside that safe zone I have panic attacks. CBT therapy can be very useful, a lot of that depends on your therapist, and your willingness to “do the work”, which is a very safe talk therapy and is quite pleasant. ERP is one type of CBT, and is the “gold standard” for OCD and phobias & agoraphobia. If I could encourage you based off of my own experience with agoraphobia, I recommend you, by yourself, go for a little walk. Just as far as feels comfortable plus one step. Maybe thats just a few steps out the front door, and thats ok. The only way to get past the fears is to go through them. So, take the next step, feel the anxiety, and youll be one step closer to recovery. Avoidance feeds it, unfortunately. Im sorry for the loss of your dad :( take care!

Username: AmssAmss

Date posted: 27w ago

@Anonymous Thank you so much ♥️ I used to walk and dance every single day… it’s just hard to find that person right now. I will try to start going outside more when it’s not raining out, maybe later today I’ll walk down to the mini mart since it’s only a 10ish minute walk. I smoke or take an edible before I leave the house and that helps a ton, I’ve found.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 27w ago

@Amss Taking a walk to the store sounds like a good idea! Also, I dance in my living room or kitchen almost everyday, i love to dance! Maybe you can start dancing again, dont have to leave the house and it’s really good to boost all the feel good chemicals!

Username: AmssAmss

Date posted: 27w ago

@Anonymous I’ll definitely try to 😊

Username: Saz

Date posted: 6y ago

Does anyone else suffer from panic sessions or severe anxiety where you feel you can’t breathe whilst driving alone? It’s been a year since I was hit with depression/anxiety and OCD and now I can’t go out or drive alone. My depression is more or less gone but my anxiety and OCD are quite high. How do I confront this fear of something bad happening to me whilst driving alone because I feel like I can’t breathe and that I’ll die.

Username: Jordo

Date posted: 6y ago

I am new to this, and really hope it helps. I have pretty severe driving OCD. It has definitely gotten progressively worse. Every bump in the road I hit, every bicyclist, every-time I have to drive on the highway I constantly worry that I hit someone or caused an accident. Some of the rituals I have been experiencing include driving around the “scene” multiple times, checking my rear view mirror (a lot), checking the local news to see if there were any accidents in the area. I have to have my husband confirm there is no damage on my car... it’s endless. To put it plainly, it is beyond exhausting. It’s also pretty lonely as the majority of people I tell have no clue or just look at me like I have 10 heads. If anyone else goes through this my heart is with you, it’s awful.

Username: markthesecond

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

I hate this so much

Hii, this is my first time posting on here. I’ve been dealing with OCD since I was at least 14, and I didn’t get diagnosed til a few weeks ago, I’m 25 now. I’ve had all types of obsessions. My first big was of getting tapeworms, I became a vegetarian yo avoid em(I’m still one but I don’t fear tapeworms anymore). I thought I had schizophrenia shortly after that, that’s one that comes back here and there. I feared the end of the world, I had a big religious obsession, that lead me to being agnostic And right now I’m dealing with what I think is somatic or existential ocd. This started in early 2021, one night I was in bed watching a movie and I became very aware of myself. I looked up derealization, cause what I thought it was, and I spent the next couple months checking myself and my surroundings to see if that’s what I was experiencing. It was a very miserable time for me, but luckily it ended, I don’t remember exactly when. I was fine for most of last year, but then a toward the end of year I went driving at night with my mom and sister. I saw a tweet online about how some ppl disassociate while driving and I got scared that would happen to me. It was dark and there were lots of cars and lights, I couldn’t shake the thought. Now I’m here, still not to able to. The few times I’m able to I feel fine. But as I realize I haven’t been thinking about it it comes back. I got on lexapro shortly after cause I figured it might help but I can’t tell if it is. My anxiety is reduced but yeah. I’m so scared I won’t feel like I did before. Like I know I’m not losing my mind but it’s hard not to feel like I am sometimes. I hope someone can relate to this.

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