I just wanna disappear

I feel like I just can’t do it anymore. Every new day brings new triggers and I’m starting to believe that I’m a monster that needs to be tucked away from the rest of the world. Not only for other people but for myself. I just want to sleep. I am so tired. And I can’t even begin to tell my family because they just don’t understand. They think OCD is simply cleaning and tidying up things and I can’t seem to get it through their heads that I’m living with this disorder, day in and day out. I just want some relief, even for a little bit.

Username: ambermayxambermayx

Date posted: 25w ago

hey I’ve been here many times , my ocd makes me feel this way a lot and I’m in an episode now which has felt like it’s been going on for months I also really relate to when you said that you’re family just thinks it’s a cleaning thing like they do not know what ocd actually really is You’re not alone, why can’t we get a break for one minute without these constant thoughts it’s unfair you’ve got this 💓 please talk to me if you need to about any themes even if we don’t have the same themes

Username: Imnew@thisImnew@this

Date posted: 25w ago

@ambermayx Thank you, I appreciate that, it’s just been a rough couple of weeks, but thank you for listening ❤️❤️❤️

Username: ambermayxambermayx

Date posted: 25w ago

@Imnew@this ocd really does get hard , I don’t ever want anyone with ocd to feel alone because my ocd has made me feel like I wanna disappear before because I feel alone and like I can’t deal with these thoughts all the time ❤️

Username: Imnew@thisImnew@this

Date posted: 25w ago

@ambermayx I totally feel that and it’s like a pit in your stomach that won’t fill no matter how hard you try—idk why I just feel like I did something wrong and that I’m hiding it or I haven’t confessed to it yet—I just feel like I’m going insane

Username: ambermayxambermayx

Date posted: 25w ago

@Imnew@this Literally always feels like I’m going insane , it’s a horrible feeling to hve ocd

Username: ThatoneunhingedfaeThatoneunhin...

Date posted: 25w ago

The biggest problem with OCD is feeling alone with it. It's why I value this app to remember I'm not alone. OCD can also be so exhausting. Keep pursuing treatment. But also try soon to just take sometimes for self care. Take a shower. Drink some juice. Sit outside and read a book. Watch a favorite TV show. Just take some time to breathe and remember your not alone. Favorite quote of mine "You got out of bed today to fight the monsters that left you so tired the day before, and that is the definition of bravery."

Username: Kyancy94Kyancy94

Date posted: 25w ago

My intrusive disturbing thoughts make me feel paralyzed, and like I want to die. Nothing ever makes it better, and I don’t know why my brain does this. All I wish for is mental health and peace because I can’t stand to even open my eyes in the morning. Sleeping is the only thing that temporarily takes the edge off. But even my dreams are intrusive and unwanted. As soon as I wake up everything comes rushing like a tidal wave, and I can’t move or breathe. SOMETHING HAS GOT TO GIVE!! 😭😓

Username: glittlegelpenglittlegelpen

Date posted: 25w ago

I am experiencing the same thing currently 😕, Its so scary and god i wish i could help you with solid advice but i too am in the pits of it. My family too dismisses my symptoms because of the idea that ocd is just cleaning. Regardless know that you have a community here and i and many others are here to give some sort of support❤️ We'll get through this eventually

Username: maddyBos222maddyBos222

Date posted: 25w ago

I understand, I honestly don’t know quite how to express how my OCD makes me feel, and nobody seems to understand it’s more than obsessive cleaning. You have to remember that this disorder is very real, you aren’t a monster baby, OCD is the monster attacking YOU. You gotta keep fighting back, time heals and you will find joy in your successes as time moves forward <3

Username: SumSum

Date posted: 5y ago

Can anyone help me. I am having trouble with my parents understanding how my OCD and other mental health issues effect my school life. They don't understand how harmful my OCD is for me. I feel like I have no one. I am so sad and exhausted. I feel like I can't live this aspect of my life anymore. It is killing me.

Username: Make the mos...

Date posted: 3y ago

I don’t know if I’m ever going to get better, if I’m ever going to feel good, if I’m ever going to be able to carry on with this 10 years down the road. It’s torture with no exit, for me recently. Every time I bring up my OCD around family, they get annoyed. I can’t go to friends because it has only been of temporary relief. I am literally tearing up as I write this. I’m afraid I’m so close to convincing myself of the horrible lies my OCD has been telling me. I just can’t, I don’t know if there’s anyone or thing that can make me feel better. It’s been like lifting gigantic boulder up a steep mountain the entire day—and I could be crushed by it if not careful. If there is a god, why must he put me through this? I have already been through some many enough hard times in life, this OCD has only magnified any insecurities, anxieties, feeling of loneliness, self hate, and negative emotions.

Username: walkingocd

Date posted: 1y ago

I don't think i can make it

Im so tired. I don't know how will i feel better. I tried everything but i feel so bad. My heart hurts and i can't breathe. I feel stressed for no reason. Im so tired. Im really tired of everything. I want to pray without stress. I want to be in a relationship, be a healthy and good partner without stress. Im so tired. Is it normal for OCD to be active for EVERYDAY? What if i upset, use, idealize, hurt, be obsessed, cheat my partner? What if i can't stay loyal to God and be a bad servant? Or what if God takes my partner away from me? Relationship and religious ocd, but sometimes pure, meta, s.o and more. This shit is taking my life away and i can't stand that anymore. I can't do it. I can't get a therapist. It's so expensive. No one here to help me. I feel like the worst servant, worst partner and worst daughter, sister in the world. I want to accept myself but OCD makes me feel like i don't deserve to live. Im so tired. I can't even look at enviroment. I walk by looking at FLOOR because everyone and everything triggers me. I feel so horrible. I always feel like something bad will happen or something is wrong. I misrecognizing my partner or others because of OCD. OCD makes me feel like everyone hates me. Even writing here makes me feel guilty for no reason.

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