- Username
- marcygirl23
- Date posted
- 23w ago
Suicidal OCD
Having a really bad day. OCD recovery feels impossible. Can’t tell if I’m suicidal. Anything helps
- Username
- Fr3ak_0n_4_l3ashFr3ak_0n_4_l...
- Date posted
- 23w ago
I get suicidal ocd a lot and I understand how hard it is. I struggle with thinking if I'm suicidal or not. But if it's stressing you out pretty bad it's ocd. Hope it gets better for you!
- Username
- marcygirl23marcygirl23
- Date posted
- 23w ago
@Claudio. It’s so distressing. Hoping it will improve just got into an IOP
- Username
- AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 23w ago
I felt like that a few weeks ago. I felt I could not distinguish reality from the distortions in my mind and it made me feel worthless. Today, only a few sessions later, I had a nearly anxiety free day. Things get better, sometimes much better in a very short time. Everyone’s progression is different but something that helped me was reaching out to my brother, and to my therapist. Your thoughts may feel unspeakable, but if you have someone whose willing to listen without judgement, it can really help to speak with them. Even if you don’t go into details and just tell them that you’re in distress, the empathy and support you
- Username
- Endlessly PonderingEndlessly Po...
- Date posted
- 23w ago
@Anonymous What did you do in your sessions that helped so much?
- Username
- marcygirl23marcygirl23
- Date posted
- 23w ago
@Anonymous Thanks for the comment. I have a wonderful support system which is a blessing
- Username
- AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 23w ago
I’m sorry if this is a lot. Sometimes small tweaks can help a lot. If you have a therapist you can talk to you can work out a good course of action for you
- Username
- philofelistphilofelist
- Date posted
- 23w ago
if the thought gives you lots of anxiety & distress, it’s likely to be OCD. good luck 💜
- Username
- marcygirl23marcygirl23
- Date posted
- 23w ago
@philofelist Hard to remember and understand sometimes when you’ve never been truly suicidal. But it does help. Thank you
- Username
- AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 23w ago
Get can really go a long way
- Username
- AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 23w ago
What helped the most I think was identifying the core fears attached to my intrusive thoughts. At first I was responding the same way to every intrusive thought with the same response—something like I don’t know if that’s true or not. This was helpful but there seems to be a better way. There are deep seated fears associated with each intrusive thought. If you can write a response prevention message (the thing you say in your head to respond to the thought) that fits the overarching fear you can “attack the thoughts at the source”. I had/have intrusive thoughts about being a pedophile and sexually assaulting my girlfriend. The underlying fear for both of these was that I am really a deeply evil person and had somehow tricked myself into believing I was good. Now my responses for both of these intrusive themes are something like “I may or may not be a deeply evil person” or “I may or may not have deceived myself into thinking I’m a good person”.
- Username
- AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 23w ago
@Anonymous I have also had intrusive thoughts about my sexuality. I found out that I am actually less afraid of being gay than I am of lying to myself for 21 years about my sexuality. The response “I may or may not know who I am” is broader and scarier than something like “I may or not be attracted to my coworker”.
- Username
- NasheNashe
- Date posted
- 23w ago
You are not alone. I struggle with suicidal ocd every day due to my past. We got this!
- Username
- marcygirl23marcygirl23
- Date posted
- 23w ago
@Nashe Thanks for the support. Here for you as well!
- Username
- marcygirl23marcygirl23
- Date posted
- 18w ago
@Nashe How are you doing?
Related posts
- Username
- holytropical!
- Date posted
- 5y ago
(PLEASE HELP IM BEGGING!) Hey guys, right now I’m having suicidal OCD and it’s really fucking scaring me because I know I want to live but it’s feeling like I’m going to end my life any second or any day now and that I’m going to die soon, and I’m afraid that I’m going to come up with a plan and go through with it, or say fuck it, I don’t care about recovery, be selfish and just do it. I’m SO scared I don’t know what to do anymore, I don’t know if these are real suicidal thoughts or just my OCD attacking me and I’m genuinely scared for my life. It’s like every second of the day I get a stupid intrusive suicidal thought and it makes me feel like I’m really suicidal and that I don’t want to live anymore, for ANYTHING positive I hear, I twist it and make it negative and tell myself, you’re going to die soon, or you’re gonna kill yourself anyway, you don’t have a future, you don’t care anymore. I even feel a lil bit down and sad when I get these thoughts and I start to feel depersonalization, I almost feel depressed when I get these thoughts all day and it makes me feel like I’m genuinely gonna get depressed and the suicidal thoughts will become REAL I’m so scared. Even when my parents tell me that I’m going to be ok and not do anything, I tell myself in my mind that I’m still going to go through with suicide and just kill myself. I don’t have a set plan and I’m afraid that I may develop a plan and want to go through with it. IM SCARED FOR MY LIFE! IM SO FUCKING SCARED PLEASE HELP PLEASE! Anyone that has gone through this PLEASE HELP! Going into a hospital won’t help because I’m not ACTUALLY suicidal but these thoughts make me FEEL like I am and it’s just SO confusing I don’t know what’s real and what’s not!!! PLEASE HELP ANYONE!!!! I’m so fucking scared ??
- Username
- marcygirl23
- Date posted
- 21w ago
Suicidal OCD
I am having a serious breakdown. I am SO SCARED that I won’t be able to get through this. I am scared I will give up. I am scared that I will eventually not be scared. I am scared of being depressed. I am scared of literally everything right now. I’m in a med change day 3 and I understand that can make things worse. But I’m just scared and need words of encouragement. I am crying. I don’t know how someone could be in so much mental pain and make it out.
- Username
- marcygirl23
- Date posted
- 17w ago
My story! Please give advice
Hey everyone. Long post, but just want some advice. I’ve had suicidal ocd, with some relationship & existential on the side lol, for about a year and a half. My suicidal ocd is pretty severe. I did a small amount of erp for a month or two, but then took a break. Last week I started an IOP program. I also take 10 mg of Prozac, and have for about 5 weeks. The first week of IOP was great. This week I have went downhill and feel like my ‘old ocd self’ again meaning heavily ruminating and seeking reassurance. My exposure today was standing near train tracks. It made me sad, and scared. I didn’t want to do it. I keep ruminating. I am absolutely terrified I will not get better. I’m scared I will get depressed and think life is not worth it. Thoughts constantly run through my head. I want to be here so bad, but I’m scared I am going to give up. I constantly worry I won’t be “happy” long term and I won’t recover. Can anyone give me some hope? I am scared I’m a lost caus. Any recovery stories? I’ve never had depression and I’m feeling a bit worried about myself from feeling tired and sad. I don’t know many people with suicidal ocd- I just want to know I can recover. Thanks for reading!
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