- Date posted
- 1y
Dead Bedroom, Desires, and Intrusive Thoughts?
So for some time my relationship with my partner has been what would be qualified as a “Dead Bedroom” or a “Sexless Marriage”. I am working through a lot of shame and scrupulously from growing up in purity culture and my marriage has been harmed on multiple occasions by my compulsively viewing pornography and attempting to hide it from my spouse. Whenever I feel attraction or sexual desire for my spouse, it feels the same way as other intrusive thoughts (triggers anxiety, triggering BFRBs, thoughts of self harm). The main issue is that, I know that because of damaged trust in the relationship and my spouse’s own mental and physical health issues that these desires and thoughts are not reciprocated. I don’t want to put pressure on the relationship by communicating these wants and feelings, but I feel like trying to squash these thoughts at any cost seems counterproductive to OCD treatment. Anyone else have any thoughts or advice?