Hi!

i just got diagnosed with OCD this past week. i've kinda always known that i have it. i used to have counting compulsions a lot in high school, i just didn't tell anyone. my biggest challenge as of late is cleaning and organizing. everything i see/am around has to be clean and orderly. does anyone have any tips for adapting to this?

I never heard about people with OCD who have messy living conditions. Maybe this is why it took so long to accept my diagnosis. Although I really dont like how OCD is percieved at by the majority of people, I feel like Im weird or something because I dont fit into that stereotype. I understand that a lot of people with OCD have this issue, but why do I feel so different? If anybody else has/had this belief, what helps with feeling more comfortable? Everytime my mom points out my room, and how its messy- Its like I feel so lazy and useless. So then I often plan out everything I was going to do, step by step, always having a reasoning behind everything, because logic always comforts me. When I start tidying up my room, I go full out (Sheets, Laundry, Clorox, Candles, Vaccuming, Then I start going through the guinea pigs cage to rearranging all of their stuff) Yet always somewhere after doing a few things, I start feeling disgusting and almost shameful of myself. 99% of the time I end up laying on my floor sobbing, noting every little thing about my room. How my furiniture doesnt match, how i would rather have solid floor like hardwood or vinyl instead of the carpet, usually things i cant change… and then barely anything gets done in my room. I start to have a meltdown and often dont take care of myself even more afterwards. A piece of me feels like my thoughts are just me being a spoiled brat and wanting everything i dont have- meanwhile others dont even have a roof over their head. The other piece of me is just tired, just emotionally exaughsted. Please comment any thoughts or recomendations to maybe improve motovation and attitude towards doing long tasks.

I can't figure out what type of OCD I have. I must be the only one who has mental hoarding OCD with some Just right and death themes. I've never seen a description of someone's symptoms that match mine. Mine are a combination of Just right and mental hoarding of a memory. Like if I have dinner, I need to do a routine where I take in various elements on the environment - the food, my phone, the people around, pets, the coolness of the air con, and think of them in a specific syntax. I need to go through this thinking cycle without also thinking about certain people, deceased people, any themes of death, certain colours (red and black mostly) and then when I get to the end I deliberately have to think about something that is anti-death, like a particularly person who is younger, a certain good colour. But there are other conditions to prevent having to re-do the routine. The phone can't give me a notification or ring. Then I have to touch the phone and think of a supporting person or colour. On top of this, if I go to Youtube, Facebook or anywhere else and I see something related to death first I have to re-do the whole routine. I have a pre-thought that protects me if I do see something in the theme of death. Touching a cat tail will re-trigger the routine and so will touching a certain matt or matts in my house without first say '1,2,3,4'. I do these mental hoarding routines every time I eat, every time I leave the house, every time I leave work, before I go to sleep. The other element of this is protecting loved ones and pets. In some of my routines, around food, leaving the house and going to bed, I have to mentally think of everyone in the house and all of my pets in the same way as above. I dont even know if it is OCD. It's mostly mental compulsions. I don't get anxiety, just discomfort. As exotic as my symptoms seem to be, I don't think my OCD is as bad as it is for others. it's a bit Just right and thats it. My symptoms do not fit any of the categories.