Confused about attraction

Im just so confused about the attraction. I feel like i’ve never really felt sexual attraction towards someone, or maybe i did i just dont remember. I personally dont really think im asexual. Maybe this is reassurance seeking but how does real attraction, or sexual attraction feels like? Im scared that my admiration for woman was actually attraction?😔 even though i had no sexual or romantic fantasies or desires with them. I can tell if a woman is pretty or attractive but i’ve never had any desire to date one. And it scares me. Like what if i’ve never been attracted to a guy? I dont even remember how does it feels like. Im so fu*ked up, like im 20 years old, my last crush was when i was 13 on a guy (even that my ocd makes me doubt) and i have these thoughts since 14. It got me in this early age when everyone around me were experiencing crushes and i DID NOT.

Username: AnonymousestiAnonymousesti

Date posted: 21w ago

hey, mine started at 13 so you're not alone! and honesly this also scared me because I remember growing up we just "chose" our crushes and I saw a tiktok about it and people where saying yes, that means that you're gay/bi/in denial blablabla but I remember that a lot of girls did that and they're all pretty straight. Idk... and as far as attraction goes I would also love to have an answer!

Username: ninkaninganinkaninga

Date posted: 21w ago

@Anonymousesti I dont know if i “chose” those guys or not. Im also scared what if i was experiencing comphet and ive never been into guys 😔😔 for example even now when i have someone on my mind, i have thoughts like “what if u just picked someone to think about, you were never straight” etc.

Username: Nicolas:)Nicolas:)

Date posted: 21w ago

Well usually I define sexual atraction as the desire to be sexual with someone, but before you get scared or smth, that's just what I say, the real definition of sexual atraction it's to experience a sense of clossness with a person, that you just wanna be around them and have any type of contact or anything like that, this definition it's kind of triggering for me, cause I have felt that sense of clossness with a guy I think, I'm not sure tho, like this memoriess are scrambel, like I felt I was into him or something for a minute, when I have 15 I had that though, but after that I just went back to normal, I didn't felt like I wanted to do anything special with him, nor did I wanted to spend more time togueter, we just continue to talk normally and that's it

Username: ninkaninganinkaninga

Date posted: 21w ago

@Nicolas:) Sometimes the idea of sex kinda scares me and gives me anxiety, but i think its only when im in this thought spiral :( i believe that if i would truly fall in love with someone and was attracted, i think i would like to have sex. Idk. It was always a normal thought for me that one day i will have sex with someone :( but this ocd shit ruins everything, even thoughts about relationships,sexuality…maybe i should be forever alone😔😔😔

Username: AyseTetikAyseTetik

Date posted: 21w ago

Your post came in at just the right time. I’m 16, and I know I’ve always been romantically interested in the opposite sex, but sometimes I wonder if I’m asexual because I dont remember having ever thought about being sexual with guys I’ve liked. But I also had hocd at 14 (when it started). But then, and this is a bit like, of an over share, but when I pleasure myself I like to think of being with the guys that I am currently interested in, which is isn’t very many, because of my hocd, and mainly just celebrity guys - which also convinces me that I’m gay or something. Basically, calling myself asexual gives me a lot of anxiety, yet maybe I am? But then I just don’t know anymore lol. I haven’t experienced real life crushes in a long time.

Username: ninkaninganinkaninga

Date posted: 21w ago

@AyseTetik Yes, like when i pleasure myself its always a thought of me having a sex with a guy.

Username: AyseTetikAyseTetik

Date posted: 21w ago

@ninkaninga Yeah same. Idk. I think hocd shuts off a lot of feelings. Like, I know I’ve had romantic attraction, but sometimes I feel opposed to it when my anxiety/ocd gets bad. But then I suppose growing up, I truly never thought sexually, only romantically.

Username: idont241

Date posted: 5y ago

It’s like I get anxiety towards any girl now. This feeling of First, thinking they are pretty Then, getting these series of emotions I can’t describe but there’s a hole in my stomach Last, Anxiety. A lot of anxiety. Feels like I want to *date* them These “attractions” feel so real. Like in actually gay. It’s like nothing can convince I am not anymore. It feels too real. And when I see hot guys, i Can just acknowledge they are hot now. Nothing else. I really just want to cry. It feels as if I was always like this. But for some reason it feels like I lost a part of myself. Like I lost my interest in guys. . I’ll never be with a woman, but I don’t think I’ll ever even be with a guy. The only thing I feel is anxiety. They feel too real for ocd to be behind this all, for this to just not be... real.

"Pure" OCD

Username: Makayla

Date posted: 4y ago

Please help me figure this out I remember when I was in 11th grade I had my first crush on a girl. I would say she was my first crush. because I would always love to go to school just to see her face lol . I always was so nervous on the bus ride to school. because I knew she rode the bus just like me . I would want to go to school just to see her . Long story short I never got the chance to tell her how I felt about her because my social anxiety. I start watching Porn a lot in that's when I got this Sexual Orientation Ocd . I don't really know what I want right know .when I did have that crush on the girl I just was attracted to women and girls . Now that I've got this SOCD stuff I fine man attractive but I don't wanna do anything sexual with them I just find them. P.S I'm a girl

Username: hannah

Date posted: 1y ago

struggling- Just need to talk

the past few days have been so hard. I keep thinking about all of the proof from the past that i’ve never really liked boys and i was just pretending to be attracted to them cuz that’s what i thought was right. it’s been so hard because i’ve been trying to hang out with my boyfriend but i’ve just felt so anxious and confused 24/7 an i don’t know what to do about it. and I know that since it’s making me anxious and i can’t stop thinking about it, it has to be ocd but that doesn’t mean that the thought can’t be true. every time i tell myself that attraction doesn’t have to be a certain way and i can just like whoever i want without having to figure out why or if it’s real or not, I think back about all the proof from growing up that i haven’t ever liked boys. I feel like i’m so stuck and i just don’t know what to do. When i was younger, I remember never liking the magic mike movies and wondering why i wasn’t attracted to them. I remember wondering why i wasn’t attracted to certain characters in shows when everyone else was. And I remember having to justify to myself why it’s okay that i wasn’t attracted to them. Looking back at that now, it seems like i’ve just always been in denial all along. I know i’ve always had ocd and those could’ve been ocd thoughts then too, but they didn’t bother me a lot then so i feel like it was just denial. Also, i feel like all of my favorite male celebrities that I thought i was so attracted to, I’m not actually attracted to. I don’t feel attracted to them when they are shirtless, and I know i’ve always felt that way. So it feels like Im only attracted to their personalities. I know people are attracted to different things and personalities might just be what i am attracted to, But if I am attracted to a guys personality, I should’ve feel unattracted to them shirtless. I know i don’t have to feel more attracted to them shirtless, but i feel like the second they are shirtless Im not attracted to them at all. I know Im thinking too much into this and it’s just causing me to be so confused, but I just don’t know what to do. I also feel like i’ve always felt attraction towards masculine women. I don’t know if this is true or maybe I just always knew they were different from me and it wasn’t actually an attraction feeling. But I don’t care if i like women, and honestly i think I probably do, but what scares me is that i’m worried I don’t really like men. I’ve always obsessed over boy bands and certain characters in shows, and i feel like that could’ve just been me trying to convince myself i was attracted to men the whole time, even if i really wasn’t. I just need help. Does anyone else relate tho this or am i just crazy lol? And the overall feeling definitely feels the same as i’ve felt with other ocd themes, so i know ocd is involved, but I still think that there is actual proof from the past that i am just ignoring

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Confused about attraction

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