I actually did something bad.

TW ZO0PHILIA OCD i think i actually did something so terrible. so bad. i don’t think i can live with myself. whenever i am half asleep my ocd is so much worse but im scared this means im actually a sick person. im crying so bad. i was half asleep and i brought my cat to lay down with me. everytime my cats lick themselves or me i get a groinal response very badly. i whenever my cat licked my hand i got a groinal response and felt the urge to m-. i ended up doing it and my cat ended up leaving in the middle of it and i continued. i had such disgusting thoughts it’s like it was automatic. i feel so sick because kept having/letting my cat lick my hand and it triggered this feeling even more. i am sick. i am gonna throw up. i cant sleep. i just wrote how i hate myself because i think im a bad person and then this happens. I dont think i can tell anyone this, not even my therapist. why did this happen. i am not attracted to my pets. i cannot live like this. i don’t think i can continue

Username: IloveDieguitoIloveDieguito

Date posted: 22w ago

Hey! Take this into account: 1. You were half asleep. Each time I am half asleep and feel like if the intrusive thoughts were real I actually agree with them. But it's only because we are so exhausted that we give in. And then we feel bad about it:( 2. You wouldn't have done it if you were conscious. Don't believe OCD if it tells you that you would:( 3. You feel horrible about it. It doesn't define who you are, and what you like. . I remember that before knowing I had OCD, the first days my cat arrived I had her sleeping on my lap and would get gronial responses and it made me feel really bad and just sad and the need to confess:(

Username: dee012dee012

Date posted: 22w ago

@IloveDieguito i don’t know why i don’t believe you, i feel as though i am being pitied and lied to so i do not hurt myself. i feel so horrible. im still sitting here bawling my eyes out. it felt like i was on autopilot and afterwards its like i woke up fully realizing what just happened. i feel like my life is over. i can’t look at myself the same

Username: NicaNica

Date posted: 22w ago

I know OCD can be very hard to deal with, but this post is seeking reassurance, which only makes things worse. Here are some helpful tools and resources to help you through this: -The Psychology of Seeking Reassurance: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/reassurance-seeking-ocd-anxiety-how-to-stop-cycle -Confessing compulsion vs. healthy sharing: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/ocd-compulsive-confession-vs-healthy-sharing -What’s Pure O OCD? https://www.verywellmind.com/pure-o-primarily-obsessional-ocd-4159144 -OCD vs. GAD Differences: https://ocdla.com/ocd-vs-gad-7071 -How To Stop Rumination Video: https://youtu.be/CkcspsmLh9k?feature=shared -ERP scripting: https://www.shalanicely.com/aha-moments/erp-scripting-for-ocd/ -The Hidden Power of Swearing at Your OCD: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/beyond-the-doubt/201711/the-hidden-power-of-swearing-at-your-ocd -Taking The Power Away From OCD: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/taking-the-power-away-from-intrusive-thoughts -ERP Worry Script: https://www.anxietycanada.com/sites/default/files/WorryScript.pdf -What is ERP therapy: https://iocdf.org/about-ocd/ocd-treatment/erp/ -What’s An OCD Trigger? https://psychcentral.com/ocd/what-is-an-ocd-trigger -Grounding Techniques: https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/grounding-techniques -OCD vs. Anxiety Disorders: https://www.talkspace.com/mental-health/conditions/articles/ocd-vs-anxiety/ -ERP Techniques for Reassurance video: https://youtu.be/D1O3RGnLjRM?feature=shared

Username: daisy211

Date posted: 5y ago

My OCD has swapped around in the past- primarily focused on HOCD and then I just accepted maybe I was attracted to both men and women, (men primarily, women only sexually occasionally) after I had sex with a girl - I didn’t know at the time it was OCD - and now it has focused on beastiality. I’m terrified. I hate HATE to admit this but when I was younger I let a dog lick my private area, and ever since I can’t stop thinking maybe that was because I wanted it? Even though I know deep down it was just sexual curiosity - the actual act of intimacy and not the animal, but now I get scared. In the past few years I have seen images and checked my groinal response, sometimes I can get really aroused and I feel disgusting. I love animals, I would never want to hurt them in anyway, I don’t know whether I just have a fixation on the idea of having sex that is intense - sort of like a ‘I need you now’ thing - as comes with the term ‘doggy style’ but then this just makes me think maybe it’s all rooted down to animals? I’m so honestly terrified I feel like the government will arrest me based on searches of laws and me trying to figure out if I’m attracted to animals going on forums etc. I once read an erotic literature page and it had a beastiality section, I looked at it and was repulsed but again my groinal response was different. I feel so guilty, but I can’t tell if this is my OCD or if I am actually attracted to animals. I would NEVER have sex with one, the idea repulses me, but somehow I can get aroused by the stories (not particularly the images) and I’m so stressed and upset I don’t know what to do I’m too scared to tell my therapist incase they lock me up for it and it hinders my future jobs :(

Username: myocdstory

Date posted: 4y ago

"zOCD false memories" HI... I'm so sorry for bothering you... I'm not looking for reassurence, not at all. Just some sympathy? I have the strangest and ugliest feeling that I may have done sexual things to my pets but I just forgot about them. I truly don't remember ever doing anything wrong or weird to them, but that feeling doesn't vanish... Everytime I look at them, that feeling resurfaces. I continue to interact with them (exposure i guess) but this feeling doesn't get any smaller... Am I the only one? It helps me a lot to know I'm not alone... Or that this is normal in ocd. I feel that feeling similar to "whenever you leave the house, you feel like you forgot something but you go through your belongings and nothing is amiss but that feeling doesn't vanish" I guess the reason why I am so worried about it is... If something actually happened, I have to kill myself... I keep thinking about about possible scenarios and see if anything could have happened but I remember nothing...

"Pure" OCD

Username: Yeye123

Date posted: 1y ago

Harm ocd?? Past things.

I wanna cry, when I was a kid,like a toddler. 4-6 maybe. I used to do horrible things to my cat, I choked it twice.my bdother did too if I remember right, but still. Ik this isn’t false memory. I’m 100% sure I ddi this as a kid. But now looking back at it I’m like wtf??? But I’m scared because whenever I see animals hurt now or accidentally hurt my animal that thing pops up in my head again and I feel weird. I can’t explain the feeling but it bothers me so bad. I want to cry. I don’t like this, i rlly feel like I’m a bad person. Idek if this is ocd. What if I genuinely have mental problems???

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