Nothing feels right

What do you do when nothing feel right. Like for example I feel like everything triggers me, everything feels weird, sounds, actions, my room. I feel like i will go insane any second and I cant enjoy anything, I cant be happy about my upcoming new job or events. I have OCD about me having shizhophrenia and omg it has ruined my life, it has only been about 3 weeks, but it has got me complitely. I want my old self back and I am scared that my loved one will leave me bc i am not getting better. I really want a new theme as funny it sounds, because even 2 years ago harm OCD was't this hard. I feel like something in me is changing, but i dont want it 😭 I will start therapy in the end of August and I just started taking medication. But for now I cant imagine this stopping and I fear that it will go downhill from this, i cant see me doing better, because if i have a good day I rember how i felt yesterday or when I had a panic attack and I cant get enough of it, i always remember those feelings and I start to worry about it over and over again.

Username: Mr. BaldbasticMr. Baldbastic

Date posted: 20w ago

This is gonna be extremely hard but if your symptoms feel the same before you started taking the med and after a few days after you started taking the med.. then stick with it. I was in a deep part of OCD when I started and it seemed like it got worse but that might have been a OCD/intense consistent anxiety trick. So I stopped and rode the waves out. But OCD stuck around and now I kinda wish I would've at least stuck out the initial 6 weeks to see where I was at.

Username: AnnuxAnnux

Date posted: 20w ago

@Mr. Baldbastic Yes I will try to see and watch what happens with the medication i am taking, but for now I feel like there is no going back. And THAT &€*@ OCD is making me think that if I say i will never be better, then I will manifest it. Like whyyyy my brain works like that 🫠

Username: Mr. BaldbasticMr. Baldbastic

Date posted: 20w ago

@Annux My brain manifests pretty much everything.

Username: Courage2ContinueCourage2Cont...

Date posted: 20w ago

I totally get like this too! I have a sister who has schizophrenia, so my risk of developing it has always been 50/50, which is terrifying! I question my reality a lot, which it sounds like you may as well, which I’m sorry for! It’s not a great way to live life, and feels very debilitating to say the least. One thing I try to do when I worry about this a lot is remember that schizophrenia is actually a beautiful thing, and I’ve just attributed a negative meaning to it. The brain learned a new way to communicate what it needs to with the rest of the brain and body when communication became inaccessible due to the underlying causes of the schizophrenia. So in a way, even though it seems like the brain is malfunctioning, really it’s adapting and showing resiliency to changes in the brain, and it’s doing a wonderful job finding a new way to communicate. I worry a lot about being independent if that were to happen as well, and what I’ve found is people are a lot more understanding and supportive than you’d expect with schizophrenia, and even if you were to have it (which I doubt, because people with schizophrenia usually don’t realize how out of touch with reality their thoughts are), a lot of people lead very normal lives.

Username: Zach C

Date posted: 2y ago

Sometimes I feel as if I want to act on these thoughts and I will one day because I won’t be able to handle my thoughts and I’ll go insane and hurt myself. right now I feel a lot of pressure in my head and stress and anxiety along with some depression because I can’t seem to find the fun in things anymore also any type of semi stressful situation I go through on a day to day basis is 10x worse after getting this thought I’ve been dealing with this thought that I might not be able to handle my ocd thoughts and compulsions for years and years to come and one day I’ll snap and the last few days I’ve been feeling so down that I’m scared that I’ll act on them and I’ve had this thought for about two weeks now and before that I use to be fine i don’t know what happened I really just want to go back to how I was feeling two weeks ago I honestly don’t know why I got this thought and why it’s stuck in my head now and I can’t seem to shake it off I feel like walls are just crumbling in on me slowly and I can’t seem to get out of it I just keep wishing I went back to my normal self literally two 2-3 weeks ago I just don’t know what might have happened I know I was dealing with a great amount of stress before I got this thought so maybe it was building up to this one thought that I had two weeks ago. I usually am able to shake some of my ocd thoughts off and disregard them and continue about my day but this one thought got me into a hyperventilating state when I got it two weeks ago and it caused me to panic so much because it was such a bad thought that I can’t get rid of it now i feel as if I’m in a episode and Ill never get out of it and I’ll be stuck like this forever and I can’t feel like this because how should any human feel this type of way forever it’s impossible and then I might snap one day because I can’t take it anymore it just scares me I want to go back to my old self a few weeks ago

Harm OCD

Username: Chihuahuapri...

Date posted: 1y ago

Ocd intrusive thoughts

I’m so sick of my mind it’s so cruel, I want to feel happy again I’m so over this. The past 3 weeks I have been stressing over multiple things/mental issues. At first I remember I saw a video about someone saying if u see shadows you have schizophrenia and I didn’t see shadows but I went into a freak out and started searching around looking if I saw anything of course I didn’t but this led me to feel paranoid and not leave my room sitting and crying in bed, then I worried about how I saw a video on the internet about how some people go mental over the fact the world might not exist and everyone might be a figment of our imagination so I went into a spiral and started questioning everything, once again stayed in my room crying. Then I worried about harm ocd since I had a scary dream and I thought omg what if I wanna do those things and my mind tries to think about bad peoples perspectives and of course I felt grossed out and thought omg I must be insane, and now then I worried about DID ( dissociative identity disorder ) and now I’m convincing myself I have evil alters when I don’t even hear voices or anything. I feel insane, I’ve also got depersonalisation to add to that which makes it worse. I’m so over it I’m sick of everyone saying I’m going to get better because I don’t feel like I will it’s just getting worse I’m only young and I had so many things I was looking too this year but I feel like my mind just wants me to be miserable. I want to be happy. I’ve been taking Effexor for 2 days now and I feel worse, that may be normal but the intrusive thoughts keep coming and they are scarier. Im sick of being paranoid it’s annoying my family now and I feel bad because I also want to happy for them and not cause them stress but I have no idea what to do. Is this normal with ocd or am I going insane?

Username: Ocdsucks56

Date posted: 23w ago

OCD

I feel really lost in life, I don’t recognize my self, I’m 23 years old and about a year and a half ago my HARM OCD started and it’s all I think about all day, I have this weird feeling. I know it gets better because it got better about a year ago but this time it came back stronger, I don’t what to do, like I know I don’t want to become this person but my brain is telling me that I won’t get better and to not get therapy nor do anything to make it better because I am a bad person. I want a happy life without these thoughts. I have the most disturbing thoughts and I just feel sick all the time and I don’t know how I’m able to live like this. It’s been a month since it came back and I’ve been surviving somehow. I can’t even look someone in the eyes because my ocd will say that I wanna hurt them and I desire it but I DO NOT WANT TO BECOME THIS PERSON. I hope it gets better because I’m afraid going to hurt my self in order for my thought to end since it will be the only way to protect others.

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Nothing feels right

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