i feel like i can’t talk to my therapist

i started therapy not too long ago and i really feel like i can’t talk to him at all. it’s so uncomfortable because the stuff im struggling with are all sexually related. each time he asks me about my intrusive thoughts i can’t identify them, ive been given homework to do and i haven’t even started it because im struggling so much to identify what is me and what isn’t. he isn’t a specialist in ocd either, he said he’s worked with people who are worried about the same thing as me but it doesn’t reassure me. in all honesty i dont think it would change anything if he was a specialist in it, i’d still most likely feel the same way. each time we talk about it (eg thought fusion and all) i doubt every little thing he says. it feels like i can’t open up to him in the slightest, when i try to it feels like im lying or if i start to i automatically go back on it and suddenly dont have the courage to talk about it. ive never told anyone my intrusive thoughts before, not even my mum and i tell her everything but i’ll never tell her them. he said he understands why im too scared to write them down, if i do it feels real but i can’t even identify what’s intrusive and what isn’t anymore, there’s no more anxiety. im just constantly thinking about things i don’t want to think about. i don’t know what to do, im spending money on the sessions but i just leave feeling even worse. i’m NOT doing too bad right now so i feel like i don’t need therapy but i know if i was to leave therapy it would most likey get worse again. is this normal? i don’t understand at all. i’m literally lying to him because im too scared to open up.

WhyMe1

Date posted: 1y

It is important to remember that "we" choose the best fit for us. Every single therapist is different, and just like with everyone else we come in contact with, we feel differently about them. The key is to find someone that works for you. Any good therapist will understand that you need to find someone that you feel comfortable with and can open up to. Otherwise, the therapy is not productive. I specifically ask for a woman that specializes in OCD treatment. Then, I have a couple of sessions to see if it is a good fit for ME! Maybe it's time to look for another therapist that you an open up to?

angel 🪽

Date posted: 1y

@WhyMe1 i spoke to my mum about finding a new one but she said i haven’t given this one a try and that i need to explain everything i’ve said to him but it’s so hard to talk about and it’s so scary.

WhyMe1

Date posted: 1y

@space girl 🪐 I completely understand. Talking about intrusive thoughts is extremely difficult at first. You need a therapist that you feel safe with. That really is the key. That being said, have you opened up a little to see how he responds? Give him a chance. Go at your own pace.

angel 🪽

Date posted: 1y

@WhyMe1 i try to but then i go back on it if that makes sense? like i get too scared because i can’t even identify what’s intrusive anymore.

WhyMe1

Date posted: 1y

@space girl 🪐 I am not saying your therapist isn't qualified, but would strongly suggest you find a woman that specializes is OCD. She will be able to help you navigate through this.

tayanominous

Date posted: 19w

Can therapist make you feel worse?

So I’ve been going to an ocd therapist for abt 2-3 months now and she’s starting to make me feel very nervous and anxious I even started crying, she wanted me to do exposures that were to much for me and I got rlly upset and Burt out into tears and she just didn’t say anything and just sat there for a good 10 seconds doing nothing this is starting to repeat nearly every session and I’m very frustrated should I get a new therapist or do I just be nice and tough it out?

💟

Date posted: 18w

therapy

it feels like therapy isn't working at all, like I've been super reluctant to participate or try and get better. I was doing really well at first but I've been in a slump with it lately, and the idea of doing exposures again makes me really scared. Like, I know if have to do them to get better but I'm so afraid that I'll pick something, watch it, and think the child character is attractive and start fantasizing about them. Like what if the only thing keeping me from doing that is because I've been avoiding them? Also is it normal for pocd to convince you that you prefer one gender more strongly than the other? Bc for some reason it feels more real with boys than it does girls (I'm mostly straight) and like.. idk I'm just not feeling good.

POCD

Mariabae

Date posted: 17w

respond please

i went to therapy today and i told her about the lack of feeling i gave with my boyfriend, when we do anything, and all the anger i feel for no reason and she somehow told me im not sure i didnt understand it that , it dosent make sense that i want to love him but i dont feel love and i feel disgust when we kiss and thinngs and that i cant accept the truth????? like she is telling me i have lots of fear in me and im telling her im scared that i dont love him but this relationship is making me feel sad and uneassy when i want to be happy and calm bur i kept telling her all of this is bc of the thoughts and she told me that the thoughts are suppose to ease ar least when i am with him… i didnt tell my bf i wrnt to therapy bc he thinks they only want money, and that they can help me but i hav to help myself, and last time i went to therapy i wasnt feeling better and he is wondering how i wasnt feeling any better and that its strange to him to do “steps “ like this bc they only want money. And i left more confused and sad because she confirmed my fears somehow? i dont understand. im just scared i dont actually love him and that i only put high expectations on this relationship and i cant accept the truth. She told me , after i told her i always told people that these thoughts are not true bc they felt out of place, that we can say one thing and feel one thing and i felt like she was telling me again that these thoughts are real. I know im sad and miserable but i dont want to be like this, im scared that i iust matured and i simply dont love him

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