oh my gosh. yes - and I read the other comments and YES YES YES to those too. If you haven't started already, the NOCD has been really helpful for me so I'd definitely recommend. Also - I completely understand the feeling of having some response that your OCD 'wants' - and the sheer panic that ensues when you don't get that EXACT word-for-word response from your partner. BUT, hang in there when this happens because this is actually what your brain needs to get stronger and fight back against the OCD. It sucks, no two ways about it, but you CAN do it and it's helpful in the long term. The biggest ROCD piece of advice I can give is to not make decisions on the health of your relationship or the morals/nature of your partner while you're in the crisis mode (stomach churning, mind racing etc). It's NOT your normal brain talking to you, and 'OCD-brain' is, frankly, rather often incorrect about people and situations (it does not have good intuition). So, when those thoughts happen, just do something for YOU -- swim, drink tea, walk, play a game, paint, whatever. Then, when you're calm, you can write down how you feel about your partner. I'd recommend writing, because you can always look back at it. If you're not with the right person, that's ok, but you very well could be and that's great too. But your OCD brain won't know this. Your normal brain will. Anyway - just had to post because this has been my experience too and I know how much it SUCKS! I want you to know you're not insane, you're just living with an extra brain which isn't really the most helpful one you could have been given. But that's ok, you'll learn to ignore it (or give it a silly voice and laugh at it). Good luck, I really really hope you find some peace! You got this.
