Can ocd feel like this

I’ve been dealing with this harm theme for almost four months now, and well obviously life hasn’t been the best for me, the thoughts really circulate on hurting others, why couldn’t they just been about me instead? (I apologize to those currently suffering from self harm ocd) it’s gotten to the point where I don’t know if my thoughts are really intrusive now, and it doesn’t help that I get urges to act on these thoughts. Why have I been cursed with such vile thoughts why me why now. The only good news so far is that I’m finally going to see if this is ocd or not and get diagnosed by a psychiatrist once I start college here in a few weeks(Thank gatos for my college has mental health resources) but honestly it just doesn’t really feel like ocd. I don’t know if I feel anxiety because it’s not the typical anxiety I feel. While my compulsions are mental it’s just wierd. Like I’m worried that ERP wouldn’t work for me. Sometimes I get thoughts like, how do people live without these thoughts? And how do they occupy their time? I know I used to be like other people, yk where I wasn’t worried or concerned because of these thoughts, like yeah I’ve had intrusive thoughts before in the past and they absolutely scared me, but I was just able to get over them. So why now does it feel like i can’t shake them off? Why do they have to show up everyday? And why have I become so apathetic? Like my empathy and sympathy feel like they’ve disappeared? And it’s so bad that sometimes I feel like if someone close to me just passed away I would feel nothing. Like when I heard my abuelo had skin cancer I just felt nothing and I was obsessing over the fact that I didn’t. Has anyone ever felt this way? Is it just ocd or something worse?

Username: eve 🎀eve 🎀

Date posted: 20w ago

heyyy! what your feeling right now is completely normal, it feels so real your brian convinces you that it must be true! the urges make it ever worse! but again, this is just ocd, you will have reoccurring thoughts, sensations , and urges. but the fact that ur even on here and seeking help from a physiatrist soon means that these feelings are NOT aligned with ur values or who u are as a person. as a person who dealt with harm ocd as well i can tell you that it does get better and its completely normal to feel that maybe ur harm ocd couldve been towards urself instead of others, ive had that same thought as well. any type of ocd is debilitating in its own way even if was oce about harming yourself it still would’ve been scary. your posts says that youve been dealing with these thoughts for 4 months now, im assuming with no counseling or medication. the reason why u feel like you have no sympathy or empathy is because you have been dealing with this for so long now you went numb. i 100% understand you and have went through this exact same thing and i promise you its just ocd! its nothing else, i hope everything goes good for you 💗💗 and remember recovery isnt easy or linear but it is possible to achieve 💗 wish you the best of luck on ur journey, everything will turn out just fine 💗💗💗

Username: eve 🎀eve 🎀

Date posted: 20w ago

@Anonymous even if you feel numb to ur thoughts or anything in general it doesn’t mean your a bad person, your just tired and feel defeated, but thats okay! as long as you keep pushing yourself to keep going forward is all that matters even if jt feels so hard

Username: ElChavodel275ElChavodel275

Date posted: 20w ago

@eve 🎀 Thank you for this I keep forgetting to tell myself that. This just sometimes feels like I’m holding myself back from “embracing my true nature” I forget to realize that I have never been a violent nor a impulsive person so it doesn’t make sense that all of a sudden I will just be one. Something that almost assures me that this is ocd is the fact that the last four months have felt absolutely awful, because if I really wanted the thoughts then I wouldn’t be as depressed as I am today. And when I find myself not having the thoughts is when I feel the happiest. I hope my empathy and sympathy do come back, altough I can’t lie it feels at the moment like they never will, but I’ll obviously try to bring it back. I’m also a little concerned if erp will work for me or not but I will try, thank you for this comment again I appreciate you reaching out a hand 💙

Username: 🌵 🌵

Date posted: 20w ago

The fact that you are worried about whether you have empathy is a sign that this OCD is egodystonic (ie. attacking an aspect of yourself that you deeply care about). Personally, I don’t know if I agree with OCD being classified as a classical “anxiety” disorder. Similarly, everytime I used to get an intrusive thought back when my OCD was severe, I never experienced “classical” anxiety symptoms like increased heart rate or sweaty palms etc. It would more-so induce despair, apathy, and constant worry. However, I did ERP with help from this community and it improved my symptoms drastically. I deeply empathize with your fear of it “not working”, but you have to trust me when I say that confronting these thoughts is the only way to break free. You got this, and I’m really glad that you’re getting the help that you need.

Username: ElChavodel275ElChavodel275

Date posted: 20w ago

@🌵 Thanks for this. I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels like it’s wierd for not having the typical anxiety symptoms. I look back at my past ocd episodes (existential, health, sexual orientation, magical thinking, and sometimes somatic) and I just realize how similar they are to this current one, but this one feels so much more disturbing and real. And that it’s able to take my emotions away is what makes it worse, but again I will try ERP and see what happens thank you so much for this again!

Username: FarleytaFarleyta

Date posted: 20w ago

4 months into harm ocd as well.. I feel this it’s like I’m not as sensitive to it as I use to be. I’m guessing you probably did a lot of mental compulsions like me, trying to figure out why you’re have these thoughts and feelings and what they mean about you etc. Look up Ali Greymond on YouTube she’s helped a lot!

Username: ElChavodel275ElChavodel275

Date posted: 20w ago

@Farleyta Yup I do sometimes have physical compulsions, but mainly mental and exactly how you described them. I will check out Ali Greymond though thank you so much!

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 3y ago

Hey y’all i need to know if someone relates to what I’m going through. I feel almost like if I wanted to act on my thoughts but I actually don’t because this doesn’t please me at all. So if someone told me “You have Harm OCD” I would be like “really? So I don’t wanna harm people? Neither am I capable?” I have no clue why would that be my answer when I haven’t desired anything. But somehow it makes me feel like I do, and consequently makes me feel like I’m in denial. So it feels like if an unconscious part of me wants to do it but I am just resisting. I literally can’t go anywhere, I don’t wanna live any second more, because I feel so disturbed all the time. I feel like I’m gonna end up doing it, I feel so overwhelmed by these feelings,thoughts, images, urges, that I would avoid everything, like going anywhere. I hate feeling like this but I feel like there’s no way back, i can’t picture myself being good in the future because I feel like “this is what i want” when it’s not. I feel like it’s a time bomb for me to do something. I do not tolerate this, every minute that passes by I feel it closer to happen. I feel like I’m gonna collapse and act on it. I don’t even know if that’s what I want, but I don’t think it is, I think it just feels like it. Help I don’t know what to do.

Harm OCD

Username: Kenzie Madison

Date posted: 2y ago

Those with Harm OCD

Hey guys. I’ve been dealing with Harm OCD for around 3 and 1/2 months now, and it’s been extremely difficult to experience. I’ve had OCD my whole life and some of my family members do as well, one of my cousins actually has the same main subtype as me, but he was diagnosed almost a year ago when I didn’t have it myself. I’ve been going to an OCD & Anxiety Treatment Center the past week and I’m really struggling with the exposures we do there, as well as the ones we do at home. I constantly feel like I’m judging myself and I genuinely feel worthless, like I’m a horrible person to have unwanted intrusive thoughts like these. I feel like it’s so difficult to stay mindful and to not judge any of the thoughts that surface. Those with Harm OCD, have any of you here gone from debilitating OCD to living fulfilling lives? If so, what was the process like for you, if you’d like to share? Thanks and I hope you’re all doing well, or are continuing to improve.

Username: faye

Date posted: 1y ago

I’m feeling horrible.

I find myself questioning things I’d never question about my life. I’m thinking I’ve actually been driven to contemplate these dark things because my ocd has pushed me over the edge. So it’s kinda that my intrusive thoughts have come true. It’s not fair! I feel super hopeless, then I get scared that I felt that way then the ocd kicks in and I start contemplating things like “it’s all hopeless I feel I am going to carry out (insert violent thought here).”. I don’t get it guys… I don’t have the money for therapy right now so crisis chats and this is my best option. I’ll definitely say ocd and my poor sleep bug habit are what has pushed me to these depths. What I don’t get though is I’m not inherently violent, I thought I was always a hopeful person on the inside, I don’t have depression. That and I love my family, I don’t want harm to come to them but the moment I get the hopelessness it makes me question wether or not it’s worth it. I’m living my worst nightmare. By the way I’m not dangerous, I don’t have any deficits in empathy what’s wrong with me. I’m in denial, I can’t believe I’m capable of genuinely thinking these things. Oh and then I have this suicidal spiral. I’ve had suicidal ocd but now I think it’s also partially true since I’ve been in such a dark spot. I know they say that if you’re not comforted by the idea of sleeping forever it prolly means it’s just ocd and well let me say it’s not comforting. Back to back I’m like “do I want to kill myself? Am I feeling that? Will I do it?” And I feel so hopeless that the thought comes in but no I DONT WANT IT. So it’s like half ocd and half my mental distress. But lord no I don’t want it and I don’t want to live in a reality where I contemplate it. Someone just help me… Why are my emotions so intense I question these things? Ocd is involved I know but I’m telling you this hopelessness had made me contemplate things that ocd wouldn’t typically do. I don’t have personality disorders or any other mental illness. HELP ME!

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Can ocd feel like this

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community