- Username
- Theocdguitarist
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 18w ago
OCD and Sexual Feelings/Thoughts
I don't post on here too often, but I'm kind of at a loss as to what to do. I struggle with sexual intrusive thoughts/scrupulosity as many of you do. Sexuality has always been difficult for me, as since I was a child, I would repress or try to reverse sexual thoughts because I viewed them as impure and worried that God would think I am sinful. This certainly stretches into my adult life. I'm very active in my church, and faith is quite important to me. However, I will spend hours feeling shame over sexual thoughts and feelings, and still consistently repress desires/urges, although it has gotten a little better. The difficult part is, it seems that when I repress the feelings and thoughts, they come back even stronger. I was addicted to pornography for 6 years, and I am happy to say I am 2 years clean. It was very difficult to quit, especially having OCD, but it wasn't impossible, and through good habits and faith I was able to overcome that challenge. However, I have continued to struggle off and on with another sexual compulsive habit, and it is really wearing on me and I want to change. It feels like a catch 22; when I try to repress the thoughts/feelings, they come back even worse and I end up giving in to the compulsion. But when I allow myself to have the thoughts and feelings, I become overwhelmed with temptation and give in as well. I'm just at a loss :( If anyone has any tips, advice, or things that have helped you be successful, I would love to hear them.