Accepting is it scary

@djflorio Thank you, this means a lot! I do resist the feelings, they feel so real. Does accepting a thought feel real. For example, sometimes I have the constant “am I suicidal” and then sometimes the more I think about it over and over the what if turns into a “I want to” statement. Those are what really scare me! Is it gonna have to be the I want to statements sometimes to get better? In the moment it really does feel like a shadow takes over. Thank you again for all of your advice, it really helps.

@Anais V - No problem! Yes, whether the thought is a question (am I suicidal?) or a statement (I am suicidal), the technique stays the same. The content of the thoughts really don't matter that much. We have thousands and thousands of thoughts every day, many of which are entirely inaccurate, but we don't notice most of them because we don't care. As soon as you start to care about a thought, you put a spotlight on it, and it becomes all you can focus on. An example I like to use is thinking about what you're going to have for dinner. You can have the thought, "I'm going to get a salad for dinner because I want to be healthy." Then when it comes time for dinner, you could end up getting a pizza instead, because that's what you really FEEL like eating. The feeling of wanting to eat the pizza, in this case, was more powerful than the desire to be healthy. On the flip side, you can think that you want a pizza, only to get a salad, because for whatever reason you really feel like being healthy that day. In this example, your thoughts simply did not line up with your eventual actions at all. But we rarely notice or care about cases like this because the consequences are so mundane. These inaccurate thoughts are happening ALL THE TIME. It's only when they happen to involve something we deeply care about that they can become sticky intrusive thoughts. That's why "I want a salad" is never an intrusive thought, but "I want to kill myself" is so hard to ignore. That's why meditation/mindfulness is so helpful for this, because it helps us detach from the hamster wheel of thought, and gets us deeply in tune with our feelings and emotions, which are the things we actually want to listen to. If you truly feel depressed, you can get help. If you truly feel sad, you can process your grief, if you truly feel anxious, you can address the cause of the anxiety. There's no need to get wrapped up in the thoughts and the stories that the mind creates surrounding the emotions.

@djflorio Thank you again! You are super helpful! I never would have thought to think about it like a pizza a salad option. I will use the tips to help! Everything you said is relevant and accurate to my feelings and scary thoughts. Thank you again!

@rynnn Thank you so much! Accepting the thoughts, it’s painful. I feel like I wanna/need to be locked up cause what if. But I have been journaling and meditating. Today I went through a BAD suicidal obsession so I journaled everything I love in life to prove the thoughts aren’t mine! I listened to way to many suicidal and depression podcast today which was prob a huge mistake. We will get through this! I love knowing others are going through it too!