I feel and I think differently to others. Broad and vast. Even in a crowd I can feel alone. I long for others to understand me, but if that meant them suffering a fraction of what I do, I'll burden this anguish alone in silence, with a smile wider than my heart can bear. My scars runs deep and my love deeper still. I will hold the line between my hell and the angels around me. Its not what I owe them, its what I don't.
I completely understand I always feel like I think different and I feel emotion differently from everybody around me and I see the world differently from everyone else I always feel like I'm the only real human being and everybody else is fake
I used to feel that way too. Stuff along the lines of "why can't you be normal" when thinking about others, only to discover that it's me that wasn't. It's an odd thing to go through
Everybody is unique in the way they think and see the world. It is not you vs. the others as one big basket. It is you vs. each individual being. Just wanted to point.
Thanks. I think that's the issue though with how I feel when I'm at my worst, probably only after starting a recovery journey. It feels as if everyone wants to see things as black and white, or two sided like a coin. I understand people have a lot of stuff going on and the brain will fill in gaps to conserve energy and protect us from danger. I see highly successful people see things in 2 dimensions and that's great for them but its not good as a whole for society. I agree with not grouping together people as a whole entirely. But these absolutes are only ends of many forms of spectrums that make up the world and who we are. Everything has an equal and opposite reaction but I wish the extremes of peoples reckless opinions wouldn't confine us within their polar opposite arguments. Conflict is necessary in all walks of life for growth but unrestrained ambition or impulsiveness can lead to hindrance like someone taking steroids for muscle growth or a rich man's greed that leads to another man's poverty. It'll all balance out in fluctuating waves like a heart beat monitor. One way or another it'll balance. Went off on a tangent. Been writing random ass stuff today š feel free to not take any of this seriously. I just feel the need to get whatever this is out of me
No worries! I really enjoy your posts and often find them to be quite eye-opening (sometimes, haha). While I don't have OCD, I definitely perceive the world as multidimensional rather than binary. I must admit, reaching this perspective took a lot of soul-searching and working on my ego. I've developed a passion for studying probability, and I'm fascinated by the concept of randomness. Eventually, it clicked for me that randomness doesn't truly exist. Everything around us is about order, and what we call randomness is just our "arrogant" way of not admitting our ignorance about a phenomenon. Instead of blaming ourselves, we blame the world and label it as random. Oh, and you're not the only one who can go off on a tangent and say crazy thingsāimagine if I did have OCD, what that would be like! It's always nice chatting with you, my friend.
I love hearing people's conclusions from their own journeys. It's fascinating. I had to read up on Buddhism to work on my ego. That and stoicism definitely shifted my life in a different direction
I can relate to my journey as a Muslim in a similar way, but instead of calling them conclusions, I see them as stages or stops along an ongoing journey. When we eventually disembark from the train of life, each of us will leave with his own conclusions we reached along the way.
That's a more accurate articulation of what I meant š We never really stop and holding onto something like a conclusion and an absolute unshakeable and immovable thing will only anchor us on our individual and interconnected voyages.
As an*
I feel so alone like no one understands me at the moment Ive prayed to God and i believe im doing a decent job in maintaining a relationship with him but i feel so hopeless, and alone. The heart ache i feel is immeasurable .
Lowkey I think Iām an awful person/have felt something and gone down a weird path of thinking/way of processing information that I can never recover from morally, but Iām not panicking about it. Iāve just accepted it ig? I canāt die because thatāll hurt those I love, so Iāll just like devote my life to others in penance maybe? Just try and help others as much as I can and live for others. I know itās like depressing to say but Iāll live for others cuz I donāt really believe I deserve to live for myself.
Itās unbelievable how isolating OCD can be. Lately Iāve just been really bumming out and feeling like nobody on this earth knows who I really am. It gets very tiring feeling like you have to act. Iāve put on a happy face for a very long time and itās just exhausting. Iām thankful that this app exists and is a place where we can all share our thoughts and feelings and be heard. To anyone else out there suffering in silence, my heart goes out to you.
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